


When Cas Was There

by michaelfalls



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, High School, Letters, M/M, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 45,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelfalls/pseuds/michaelfalls
Summary: [9:01 AM] Dean Winchester: cas will you marry me[9:02 AM] Castiel Novak: No.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 88
Kudos: 185
Collections: The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. Gayz II Women

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story told mostly through texting conversations and letters. There are the occasional written-out scenes but it will mostly be texting. If you prefer written out fics, I have those on my page too :)
> 
> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Gb1PFxYDWsGsSgSsrA9ZW?si=5UPxaDrETHWcwMARqpO3jA

**[January 7, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women  
**Members:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Kevin Tran, Jo Harvelle

 **[3:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** dude i swear to god

 **[3:49 PM] Jo Harvelle:** what is it now

 **[3:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** i don’t care if this motherfucker is on the swim team and i don’t care if he’s the captain, if he puts another rescued snail in my locker because it was lonely, I’m gonna dump shit into his pool

 **[3:51 PM] Kevin Tran:** what shit?

 **[3:51 PM] Dean Winchester:** how depraved do you think i’ll go

 **[3:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** ugh dean ew  
**[3:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** i can’t stand you omg

 **[3:52 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** dean do NOT shit in the pool

 **[3:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** this swimming pool ass wipe is making it very tempting

 **[3:53 PM] Kevin Tran:** dude just find his locker and put the snails there

 **[3:53 PM] Sam Winchester:** i literally don’t know what i did to deserve a dumb ass bitch like dean for a brother

 **[3:54 PM] Dean Winchester:** shut up you would do the same in my position

 **[3:54 PM] Sam Winchester:** I WOULDN’T SHIT IN THE POOL?????

* * *

**[January 9, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[11:06 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** are you guys going to meg masters’s party

 **[11:06 AM] Kevin Tran:** what, for valentine’s day?

 **[11:07 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** she hates the holiday but it’s a reason for a party

 **[11:07 AM] Jo Harvelle:** could be fun  
**[11:07 AM] Jo Harvelle:** sure i’ll go  
**[11:08 AM] Jo Harvelle:** are the rest of you coming?

 **[11:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** why not  
**[11:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** sure  
**[11:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** who else is gonna be there

 **[11:09 AM] Sam Winchester:** uhh i think i heard something about bela talbot going???

 **[11:10 AM] Jo Harvelle:** she has a mansion but she chooses to attend a party in a smelly apartment

 **[11:10 AM] Kevin Tran:** meg’s apartment isn’t that bad

**[11:11 AM] Dean Winchester:**

* * *

**[January 12, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Elite Gayz II Women  
**Members:** Charlie Bradbury, Dean Winchester

 **[1:49 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** i love that this chat is just us

 **[1:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** we need more people

 **[1:50 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** hey isn’t the swim team captain gay

 **[1:50 AM] Dean Winchester:** i am Not asking mr lonely

 **[1:50 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** mr lonely SNAILS  
**[1:51 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** he’s so cute pls

 **[1:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** don’t take his side lesbian

**[1:52 AM] Charlie Bradbury:**

* * *

**[January 17, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[3:02 PM] Sam Winchester:** DEAN  
**[3:02 PM] Sam Winchester:** i saw the swim team boy putting snails in your locker again

 **[3:03 PM] Dean Winchester:** did you stop him

 **[3:03 PM] Sam Winchester:** who do you think i am  
**[3:03 PM] Sam Winchester:** of course i didn’t

 **[3:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** fuck you man

 **[3:04 PM] Sam Winchester:** he left a note this time tho

 **[3:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** what does it say

 **[3:05 PM] Sam Winchester:** who am i, your maid???  
**[3:05 PM] Sam Winchester:** go read it yourself

* * *

**[January 17, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker with a snail and Reese’s cup]

Hello Locker 275:

I apologize for leaving snails in your locker. It’s the only one I can slip a snail into that’s near the pool. Mine is too far away.

Here’s a small token of my appreciation. I hope you’re not allergic to peanuts. Let me know.

\- The very sorry but grateful guy who leaves the snails

* * *

**[January 19, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

I like Reese’s. All good on that end.

But can you stop leaving snails in my locker? Cleaning up the slime is a bitch.

* * *

**[January 20, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[11:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** SNAILS  
**[11:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** SNAILS THIS SNAILS THAT

 **[11:42 AM] Jo Harvelle:** he left them again?

 **[11:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** after i asked him not to  
**[11:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** I HATE IT HERE

 **[11:43 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** why don’t you try keeping one of the snails as a pet

 **[11:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** i am not keeping one of his stupid snails

* * *

**[January 20, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[8:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** what do you think of the name chevy

 **[8:29 PM] Sam Winchester:** i think it’s the name of dad’s car

 **[8:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** just tell me

 **[8:30 PM] Sam Winchester:** fine i think it’s okay  
**[8:30 PM] Sam Winchester:** why???

 **[8:31 PM] Dean Winchester:** chevy the snail  
**[8:31 PM] Dean Winchester:** it has a ring to it

 **[8:32 PM] Sam Winchester:** CHEVY THE SNAIL?????  
**[8:32 PM] Sam Winchester:** HELLO????

* * *

**[January 23, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker with a photo of Chevy the snail]

Snail dude:

I kept one of the snails. His name is Chevy.

* * *

**[January 24, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker]

Locker 275:

Chevy is a nice name. Isn’t it a type of car? Apologies if I’m mistaken, automobiles aren’t my area of expertise.

* * *

**[January 25, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

Yeah, named him after my dad’s car. Chevy Impala, 1967. I’m supposed to get the car soon.

* * *

**[January 27, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[9:12 PM] Kevin Tran:** I REALLY WANT TO GO TO MEG’S PARTY RIGHT NOW NOT GONNA LIE  
**[9:12 PM] Kevin Tran:** i wanna meet someone there and fall in love

 **[9:12 PM] Jo Harvelle:** omg fall in love w me kev!!  
**[9:12 PM] Jo Harvelle:** jk i hate men

 **[9:13 PM] Kevin Tran:** i know  
**[9:13 PM] Kevin Tran:** all men do is disappoint me

 **[9:13 PM] Sam Winchester:** you are a man

 **[9:14 PM] Kevin Tran:** did i say i was exempt

* * *

**[January 29, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

Are you going to Meg’s party on V day?

* * *

**[January 30, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker]

Locker 275:

No. Parties aren’t my scene. You?

* * *

**[February 1, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

I am. Maybe I’ll see you there, maybe I won’t.

* * *

**[February 3, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

_Charlie Bradbury added Garth Fitzgerald_

**[4:39 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** i met him today and i love him already

 **[4:39 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** hey everyone

 **[4:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** hettie

 **[4:40 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** sigh  
**[4:40 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** unfortunately

* * *

**[February 5, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[8:04 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i need help

 **[8:04 AM] Kevin Tran:** the gays are here

 **[8:05 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i have a crush on this girl but idk the first thing about wooing a girl

 **[8:05 AM] Jo Harvelle:** who the fuck says WOO

 **[8:05 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** heteros

 **[8:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** garth, my man  
**[8:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** this is easy  
**[8:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** just take her to a cute dinner and get her a rose

 **[8:06 AM] Sam Winchester:** don’t overcomplicate

 **[8:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** shut up the expert is talking

 **[8:06 AM] Sam Winchester:** says the one that can’t ask out snail guy

 **[8:07 AM] Dean Winchester:** i don’t want to  
**[8:07 AM] Dean Winchester:** anyway garth you got this

 **[8:07 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** thanks dean i’ll try that

* * *

**[February 6, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker]

Locker 275:

If you want to, can you come to the pool after school and fish out all the snails with me? We could move them to the garden or something. If you want.

* * *

**[February 6, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** John Winchester, Dean Winchester

 **[12:39 PM] John Winchester:** You better come straight home after school.

 **[12:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** i kind of had something to do...

 **[12:39 PM] John Winchester:** Are you talking back to me?

 **[12:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** no sir  
**[12:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** sorry sir  
**[12:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** i’ll go home after school  
**[12:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** what about sam?

 **[12:41 PM] John Winchester:** Tell him.

* * *

**[February 6, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

Sorry, can’t. I need to go home early. Maybe next time.

* * *

**[February 7, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker with a snail]

Locker 275:

I don’t know where this one came from but it’s got a beautiful pink shell. I’m doubtful you want another snail but I thought this one could keep Chevy company.

* * *

**[February 8, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

Do you want to name it?

* * *

**[February 9, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker]

Locker 275:

I was thinking of the name Clarence today.

* * *

**[February 10, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker with a photo of Chevy and Clarence the snails]

Snail dude:

Chevy and Clarence. Don't they grow up so fast? Chevy's not used to sharing his space yet but he's getting by. Clarence feels right at home.

* * *

**[February 12, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Men

 **[7:31 PM] Jo Harvelle:** THE PARTY IS IN TWO DAYS

 **[7:32 PM] Sam Winchester:** anyone you’re hoping to see there?

 **[7:32 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** god i hope the party is overflowing with lesbians

 **[7:33 PM] Jo Harvelle:** it’s meg masters of course it will

 **[7:33 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i hope bess myers is there

 **[7:33 PM] Dean Winchester:** oh yeah how did the date with her go?

 **[7:34 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** GREAT!!! we have another one next week

 **[7:34 PM] Kevin Tran:** a win for the heteros

 **[7:35 PM] Jo Harvelle:** I’m so happy for you garth omg

 **[7:35 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** THIS IS SO CUTE  
**[7:35 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** speaking of cute  
**[7:36 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** DEAN IS SNAIL DUDE GOING TO THE PARTY??

 **[7:36 PM] Dean Winchester:** no :/ not his thing apparently

 **[7:36 PM] Sam Winchester:** who knows maybe you’ll be surprised

 **[7:36 PM] Dean Winchester:** maybe

* * *

**[February 14, 2008]**

Dean knocks on the door and checks his watch; he’s on time, Charlie told him to come then. Dean brought a rose as per Jo’s request -- if she didn’t end up meeting anyone, she didn’t want to go home without a rose to show for it, so Dean offered to bring one for her in case. The door opens and he’s greeted with a tired-looking boy his age with messy dark hair and these blue eyes that are both blank yet so full of soul. His lips press into a thin line. “Is this where the party is?”

The boy says flatly, “You’re on the wrong floor. The party is upstairs.”

Dean smiles, “So, you get that often?”

The boy gives him a tight sarcastic smile. “Yes. I come here often too. Yes, it hurt when I fell from Heaven. No, you can’t rearrange the alphabet.”

Dean laughs as the boy eliminates pick-up line after pick-up line and pulls out the rose from behind his back, joking, “I don’t want to rearrange the alphabet but I did want to show this rose how beautiful you are.”

The boy visibly cringes but he still ends up smiling. “I won’t keep you, you should go upstairs before you miss the party.”

Dean shrugs, “Nah, I wasn’t really into the party anyway. I was supposed to pass this to my friend but I’m sure she can wait. You don’t wanna go to the party?”

“Not my kind of social event,” he answers, looking Dean up and down as he leans against the doorway. “But I gather it’s yours.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, the leather jacket you’re wearing seems pretty creased, I’d assume you wear it pretty often,” the boy observes, reaching out to touch Dean’s leather jacket’s sleeve to show the visible whitened creases in the material.

Dean looks at him in amusement, “That doesn’t sound very relevant. I wear jackets to school a lot.”

“If you would let me finish,” the boy sighs. “There’s a stain on the breast of the jacket, likely from beer... Unless you drink beer in school and somehow get away with it, it’s likely from a party. Beer doesn’t clean out of leather unless you act quickly.”

“I spilled beer onto it at a party a while back,” Dean admits.

The boy nods and continues, “You drink, obviously. Even though you shouldn’t, we’re in high school, but you drink. I take it you don’t do it often because of your physique, but you clearly drink and don’t get to a toilet or home fast enough to clean the stain out. You didn’t try to get it professionally cleaned or get a new jacket, probably because you thought it would happen again in the future and didn't see any reason to put in the effort. Ergo, you attend parties often.”

“Wow,” Dean says, fanning himself dramatically. “Mr. Holmes, you’re amazing.”

“Elementary, my dear Watson,” he says wryly.

Dean asks, “Can I come in, or is that too stalker-like?”

The boy thinks about it before he shrugs, “Fine. I need a little more excitement in my life. I’m Castiel.”

“Weird name,” Dean notes. “I’m Dean.”

“Weird name,” Castiel echoes back falsely. He pours himself a glass of water and Dean notices the faint classical music playing. “If it makes you feel better, people have adopted the habit of addressing me as Cas.” He talks formally and it distantly reminds Dean of Snail Dude.

“Okay, Cas,” Dean nods, testing out the name. “I think I’ve seen you in school before.”

Cas glances up at the ceiling in thought before asking, “Aren’t you in my History class?”

Dean snaps his fingers in recognition, “You always sit at the front! I literally only know how the back of your head looks like.”

“Thank you,” Castiel says dryly. He changes the subject, questioning, “It’s Valentine’s Day, don’t you have a date or something to get to?”

“Just the party upstairs but I’m good with staying here,” Dean replies dismissively. “What about you? You look pretty hot, I’d think you’d have a date.”

Cas blushes -- blushes? Maybe it just got hot. His cheeks burn a light red and he says, awkwardly rubbing his neck, “I don’t have a date.”

Dean asks, “Have your eye on anyone? I like giving advice.”

“Don’t be a douchebag,” Cas says, rolling his eyes. His whole body moves with it and it’s endearing in its own way. “I don’t need your help.”

Somehow, it already feels like they’ve been friends for a while, not just the past ten minutes. Dean grins lopsidedly, “Hey, my friend Jo, she’s looking for a date.”

“Not my type,” Cas replies instantly.

Dean raises his eyebrows, “I haven’t even told you about her yet.”

Cas says, leveling a look with Dean, “You told me Jo is a girl.”

“Jo is a -- Oh. _Oh_ ,” Dean realizes. “Well, my pal Kev’s looking for someone.”

“I don’t need your help,” Cas repeats. “Thank you, but don’t bother.”

They end up talking for the next two hours about themselves, their friends, their schoolwork. They get along really well, which Dean honestly didn’t expect them to. But Cas is funny, if dry, and he’s intelligent in every way. Smart’s always sexy.

When Cas tells him his parents will be home any time soon, Dean leaves for Meg’s party but he leaves his number behind on the notepad by the landline:

_Call me 202-555-0178_  
_Dean_


	2. A Snail Named Bee

**[February 14, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Unknown Number

 **[3:10 AM] Unknown number:** Hello, Dean. It’s Cas.  
**[3:10 AM] Unknown number:** I hope I didn’t wake you.

 **[3:10 AM] Dean Winchester:** nah, i couldn’t sleep anyway  
**[3:11 AM] Dean Winchester:** gimme a sec to add your number

 **Contact added:** Castiel Novak

 **[3:11 AM] Castiel Novak:** Why can't you sleep?

 **[3:12 AM] Dean Winchester:** party buzz

 **[3:12 AM] Castiel Novak:** Did your friends find their dates?

 **[3:12 AM] Dean Winchester:** no luck with kevin but jo got a flower from some guy  
**[3:13 AM] Dean Winchester:** i’m gonna kick his ass if he’s not serious

 **[3:13 AM] Castiel Novak:** I assume you and Jo are very close.

 **[3:13 AM] Dean Winchester:** like a sister to me

 **[3:14 AM] Castiel Novak:** That’s cute, you bringing the rose for her.  
**[3:14 AM] Castiel Novak:** My brother would never do that.

 **[3:14 AM] Dean Winchester:** i’m sure he ain’t that bad

 **[3:15 AM] Castiel Novak:** Gabriel isn’t bad, he’s just exhausting.

 **[3:15 AM] Dean Winchester:** god i feel that  
**[3:15 AM] Dean Winchester:** speaking of exhausting I’m BEAT  
**[3:15 AM] Dean Winchester:** i’ll talk to you tomorrow?

 **[3:16 AM] Castiel Novak:** Sure.  
**[3:16 AM] Castiel Novak:** See you in History.

* * *

**[February 15, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[9:51 AM] Jo Harvelle:** i’m a lover not a fighter

 **[9:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** you punched me this morning

 **[9:52 AM] Jo Harvelle:** idk who didn’t teach you any manners but don’t touch my fucking cake like that

* * *

**[February 15, 2008]**

[Passed by Dean in History Class]

C:

I literally don’t know how to do Q2 help a pal out?

D

* * *

**[February 15, 2008]**

[Passed by Cas in History Class]

D:

Copy your answer from the second paragraph on page 59. Word for word works too.

C

* * *

**[February 16, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker with Reese’s Cup]

Locker 275:

I had an extra.

* * *

**[February 16, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

Two days after the day everyone gives chocolate away and you had an extra? Sure.

* * *

**[February 17, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Locker 275:

Happy Not-Valentine’s.

* * *

**[February 17, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[6:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** why am i just noticing there’s a second snail now

 **[6:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** his name is clarence

 **[6:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** CLARENCE???

 **[6:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** ain’t clarence a beauty

 **[6:40 PM] Sam Winchester:** i mean yeah but where did you even get it  
**[6:40 PM] Sam Winchester:** omg  
**[6:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** you have a crush on snail dude don’t you

 **[6:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** don’t be ridiculous

 **[6:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** YOU DO  
**[6:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** why else would you keep his snails

 **[6:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** duh i want a pet and dad won’t let me get a dog??

 **[6:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** but two?  
**[6:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** snails aren’t exactly pet #1

 **[6:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** why not  
**[6:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** they’re quiet, they’re too slow to run away from home and dad doesn’t have an argument against them

 **[6:44 PM] Sam Winchester:** you really need a dog

 **[6:44 PM] Dean Winchester:** lol what’s new  
**[6:44 PM] Dean Winchester:** i do like the snails tho they’re cute

 **[6:44 PM] Sam Winchester:** you mean you like the guy who gives you the snails he’s cute

 **[6:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** shut up clown

* * *

**[February 18, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[10:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** cas

 **[10:35 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes?

 **[10:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** oh good ur awake  
**[10:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** do you take the bus at the roadhouse to school?

 **[10:36 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, why?

 **[10:36 PM] Dean Winchester:** nice so do i  
**[10:36 PM] Dean Winchester:** do you maybe want to go to school together?

 **[10:37 PM] Castiel Novak:** I’m not opposed.  
**[10:37 PM] Castiel Novak:** What about your brother?

 **[10:37 PM] Dean Winchester:** he’ll come along too my dad will kill me if i let the poor guy go to school alone  
**[10:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** just thought we can have an extra friend who isn’t our brother there

 **[10:38 PM] Castiel Novak:** I would like to.

* * *

**[February 18, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i ain’t get no pussy cos of y’all, y’all ain’t get no pussy cos of me

 **Members:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bela Talbot, Crowley MacLeod, Meg Masters

 **[4:20 AM] Dean Winchester:** no offense but cas is hot

 **[4:20 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i agree.

 **[4:20 AM] Bela Talbot:** no offense but that sounds pretty gay

 **[4:21 AM] Meg Masters:** YOU sound pretty gay

 **[4:21 AM] Sam Winchester:** literally both of you are gay

 **[4:21 AM] Dean Winchester:** wow we get it you’re straight

* * *

**[February 19, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Kevin Tran

 **[3:47 PM] Kevin Tran:** DEAN I NEED HELP  
**[3:48 PM] Kevin Tran:** there’s this really cute guy and he keeps ordering black coffee at the cafe i work at but every time he drinks it he looks disgusted so i wanna bring him something sweeter but i get weak in the knees when i get near

 **[3:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** that’s not being weak in the knees that’s being a coward you are a coward kevin

 **[3:51 PM] Kevin Tran:** YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT???

 **[3:51 PM] Dean Winchester:** anyway relax about it it’ll be fine  
**[3:51 PM] Dean Winchester:** just bring him the drink  
**[3:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** if he smiles, sit down and talk, ask him about the coffee, ask him to a coffee date  
**[3:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** go get some dude

 **[3:53 PM] Kevin Tran:** this is why I ask you for advice instead of sam

 **[3:53 PM] Dean Winchester:** you say that like sam can get a date in the first place

* * *

**[February 20, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

Are you the swim team captain?

* * *

**[February 20, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Locker 275:

No, I don’t do sports. That would be funny.

* * *

**[February 21, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury

 **[4:39 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** HOW ARE THINGS WITH YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND

 **[4:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** who

 **[4:40 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** CASTIEL NOVAK SILLY

 **[4:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** no castiel novak smart

 **[4:41 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** stfu  
**[4:41 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** i’ll tell you about my date last week if you tell me about castiel

 **[4:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** how dare you  
**[4:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** you really think i’m so weak willed to fall for bribery?

 **[4:42 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** yes

 **[4:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** well you’re right cas is so smart like sherlock smart and his humour is so deadpan but he’s funny plus he’s hot as hell

 **[4:43 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY

 **[4:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** what do you know about being in love

 **[4:43 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** just because i fall in love with every girl i see doesn’t mean i don’t know anything about LOVE!!!

 **[4:44 PM] Dean Winchester:** anyway tell me about that date of yours

 **[4:44 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** HER NAME IS GILDA AND I AM IN LOVE WITH HER

 **[4:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** this is what i mean

* * *

**[February 22, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

Can I have another snail?

* * *

**[February 22, 2008]**

[Found in Dean’s locker with a snail]

Locker 275:

Can you name this one Bee?

* * *

**[February 22, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Snail dude:

A snail named bee?

* * *

**[February 22, 2008]**

[Found on Dean’s locker]

Locker 275:

Yes.

* * *

**[February 22, 2008]**

[Passed by Cas in History]

D:

My pen is lea [ink blot]

* * *

**[February 22, 2008]**

[Passed by Dean in History with a spare pen]

C:

Keep it.

* * *

**[February 23, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[10:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** sammy’s sick it’s just us today  
**[10:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** i’ll race you to the stop sign

 **[10:52 AM] Castiel Novak:** I haven’t even left my house.

 **[10:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** better start running then i’m sure as hell not giving you a head start


	3. Cirque du Soleil

**[February 24, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

_Dean Winchester added Castiel Novak_

**[11:40 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** OHH???  
**[11:40 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** WHO’S THIS!!

 **[11:40 AM] Castiel Novak:** Castiel.

 **[11:41 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** AAAAAA DEAN’S BOYFRIEND

 **[11:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** I’m not.

 **[11:41 AM] Kevin Tran:** WELCOME  
**[11:41 AM] Kevin Tran:** we are all gay here  
**[11:42 AM] Kevin Tran:** well except garth  
**[11:42 AM] Kevin Tran:** unless you dare walk the path of the hetero?

 **[11:43 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'm gay.  
  
**[11:43 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** SO YOU ARE DEAN’S BOYFRIEND

 **[11:44 AM] Castiel Novak:** I’m not his...  
**[11:44 AM] Castiel Novak:** Sigh.

 **[11:44 AM] Dean Winchester:** HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND  
**[11:44 AM] Dean Winchester:** i met him before i came to meg's vday party

 **[11:45 AM] Jo Harvelle:** how doesn't that sound like he's your boyfriend

 **[11:45 AM] Dean Winchester:** man stfu

 **[11:45 AM] Jo Harvelle:** i do not hear it

* * *

**[February 25, 2008]**

[Found on Dean's locker]

Snail dude:

Bee fits in fine with Clarence and Chevy. He is in good hands.

* * *

**[February 26, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i ain't get no pussy cos of y'all, y'all ain't get no pussy cos of me

_Dean Winchester added Castiel Novak_

**[1:03 AM] Meg Masters:** finally  
**[1:03 AM] Meg Masters:** welcome clarence

 **[1:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** you knew him before???

 **[1:03 AM] Meg Masters:** duh we literally live in the same apartment complex  
**[1:04 AM] Meg Masters:** how can we not

 **[1:04 AM] Castiel Novak:** I have met everyone here except Bela.

 **[1:04 AM] Bela Talbot:** sure you have, darling  
**[1:05 AM] Bela Talbot:** i'm the one brit girl

 **[1:05 AM] Castiel Novak:** Correction: I have met Bela.

 **[1:06 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** so, wings.

 **[1:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** wings ???

 **[1:06 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** be quiet, shorter winchester.  
**[1:06 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** anyway, wings. are you and dean dating?

 **[1:07 AM] Castiel Novak:** Why does everyone think that?

 **[1:07 AM] Meg Masters:** so you're free estate basically ;)

**[1:07 AM] Dean Winchester:**

* * *

**[February 28, 2009]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[12:38 AM] Castiel Novak:** What do you want to be when you grow up?

 **[12:40 AM] Dean Winchester:** a rocket ship  
_Read 12:40 AM_

 **[2:57 AM] Castiel Novak:** I was serious, you know.

 **[2:57 AM] Dean Winchester:** 3 AM, huh? someone’s thinking of me

 **[2:58 AM] Castiel Novak:** Shut up.  
**[2:58 AM] Castiel Novak:** I was being serious when I asked.

 **[2:58 AM] Dean Winchester:** what makes you think i’m not

 **[2:58 AM] Castiel Novak:** The fact that a human cannot be a rocket ship.

 **[2:59 AM] Dean Winchester:** you wound me cas you really do  
**[2:59 AM] Dean Winchester:** anyway idk  
**[2:59 AM] Dean Winchester:** maybe an engineer  
**[3:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** i like working on my uncle bobby's cars

 **[3:00 AM] Castiel Novak:** Cars?

 **[3:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** he owns a salvage yard  
**[3:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** sammy and i go there pretty often and bobby teaches me how to fix them up

 **[3:01 AM] Castiel Novak:** That's nice. I'm sure you can succeed as an engineer. You're only as good as your passion.

 **[3:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** i've got plenty of that so i think i'm gonna be alright :)  
**[3:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** what about you?

 **[3:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** I prefer to take life one day at a time.

 **[3:02 AM] Dean Winchester:** come on i told you what i wanted to be  
**[3:02 AM] Dean Winchester:** humor me

 **[3:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** I guess if I had to pick something...  
**[3:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** I thought joining the FBI would be really cool.  
**[3:03 AM] Castiel Novak:** Realistically, maybe a small bakery. I like baking.

 **[3:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** would i get free pie?

 **[3:03 AM] Castiel Novak:** Why would you?

 **[3:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** RUDE  
**[3:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** but i can't wait to visit your bakery  
**[3:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** why the sudden question anyway?

 **[3:04 AM] Castiel Novak:** I was just wondering.  
**[3:05 AM] Castiel Novak:** Go to sleep, we have a History test tomorrow.

 **[3:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** can i copy from you if i don't know the answer

 **[3:05 AM] Castiel Novak:** No.

* * *

**[February 29, 2008]**

[Tossed onto Cas's desk in History]

Help me? I'm stuck at 7

* * *

**[February 29, 2008]**

[Slipped onto Dean's desk in History]

Just look at my paper if you need to.

* * *

**[February 29, 2008]**

[Found on Dean's locker]

Locker 275:

Soft Universe by AURORA

* * *

**[Soft Universe by AURORA]**

_There is ice in my water_  
_And when I drink it, it cuts my tongue_  
_There's glass on the playground_  
_It cuts my skin when I run_

_Speak to me_  
_Speak to me_  
_With love in your words_  
_Make for me_  
_Make for me_  
_A soft universe_

* * *

**[March 1, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** help

 **Members:** Kevin Tran, Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[9:45 AM] Kevin Tran:** are you any good at matchmaking

 **[9:45 AM] Dean Winchester:** do you have a date?  
**[9:46 AM] Dean Winchester:** because i WILL get the shotgun and give them the talk

 **[9:46 AM] Kevin Tran:** first of all, no you won't. you'd only do it for sam  
**[9:46 AM] Kevin Tran:** second, this is for sam

 **[9:46 AM] Dean Winchester:** for SAM?????

 **[9:46 AM] Kevin Tran:** he has a crush on this girl in his biology class and he's too much of a fool to ask her out himself

 **[9:47 AM] Dean Winchester:** wtf i raised him better than this

 **[9:47 AM] Castiel Novak:** What makes you think we will?

 **[9:48 AM] Dean Winchester:** what he said

 **[9:48 AM] Kevin Tran:** remember when sam farted on your pillow

 **[9:48 AM] Castiel Novak:** Sam what on his pillow?

 **[9:48 AM] Dean Winchester:** how can i help you today kevin <3

 **[9:49 AM] Kevin Tran:** just try to help him out? give him dating advice or something. i know you like to do that  
**[9:49 AM] Kevin Tran:** and you two share bio with him right because he's a grade advanced too

 **[9:49 AM] Castiel Novak:** We will try.

* * *

**[March 3, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** help

 **[11:03 AM] Kevin Tran:** I CAN'T BELIEVE THISSSSS

 **[11:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** what is it now

 **[11:04 AM] Kevin Tran:** so you know how you guys gave advice to sam for the girl he liked?  
**[11:05 AM] Kevin Tran:** he got her a pet

 **[11:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** that’s ?? cute ???

 **[11:07 AM] Kevin Tran:** not when it’s a RAT

 **[11:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** FUCK

 **[11:08 AM] Kevin Tran:** is this funny to you  
**[11:09 AM] Kevin Tran:** it’s not funny to me  
**[11:09 AM] Kevin Tran:** STOP LAUGHING

 **[11:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** okay we’ll stop

 **[11:10 AM] Kevin Tran:** I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR SEAT  
**[11:10 AM] Kevin Tran:** don’t tel  
**[11:11 AM] Kevin Tran:** i was gonna say don’t tell cas but you just did

 **[11:11 AM] Dean Winchester:** SORRY I CANT HELP IT  
**[11:11 AM] Dean Winchester:** did she name the rat

 **[11:12 AM] Kevin Tran:** let me ask sam  
**[11:12 AM] Kevin Tran:** she named it OGGY  
**[11:12 AM] Kevin Tran:** what kind of dumbass name is OGGY

 **[11:13 AM] Dean Winchester:** OGGY I CAN’T BREATHE

 **[11:13 AM] Kevin Tran:** stop fucking laughing both of you  
**[11:13 AM] Kevin Tran:** y’all look cute together tho

 **[11:14 AM] Dean Winchester:** excuse me

 **[11:14 AM] Kevin Tran:** i’m stupid but not that stupid

 **[11:14 AM] Dean Winchester:** you are literally advanced placement

 **[11:15 AM] Kevin Tran:** just because i'm in cirque du soleil doesn't mean i'm not a clown

* * *

**[March 4, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[8:20 PM] Dean Winchester:** we should join a club together

 **[8:22 PM] Castiel Novak:** What did you have in mind?  
**[8:22 PM] Castiel Novak:** Nothing active, hopefully.

 **[8:22 PM] Dean Winchester:** i was thinking something relaxing too  
**[8:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** they've got one where we all just meet to watch movies  
**[8:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** there's also one related to that where we just write stuff

 **[8:23 PM] Castiel Novak:** Do we have to show what we write?

 **[8:24 PM] Dean Winchester:** as far as i know, no

 **[8:24 PM] Castiel Novak:** Maybe that. It could be fun.

 **[8:24 PM] Dean Winchester:** they have an astronomy club too, but it goes pretty late at night

 **[8:24 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm not allowed to stay out late.

 **[8:25 PM] Dean Winchester:** yeah me neither  
**[8:25 PM] Dean Winchester:** it was a long shot  
**[8:25 PM] Dean Winchester:** so writing club?

 **[8:26 PM] Castiel Novak:** Sure, Dean.

 **[8:26 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll sign us up tomorrow

 **[8:26 PM] Castiel Novak:** Do you like writing?

 **[8:26 PM] Dean Winchester:** i think it's alright  
**[8:26 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm not any good at it but it passes the time  
**[8:27 PM] Dean Winchester:** you?

 **[8:27 PM] Castiel Novak:** I prefer reading but I think trying new things is good.

 **[8:27 PM] Dean Winchester:** hmm  
**[8:27 PM] Dean Winchester:** yeah

* * *

**[March 5, 2008]**

[Found on Dean's locker]

Snail dude:

From Me To You by The Beatles

* * *

**[From Me To You by The Beatles]**

_If there's anything that you want_  
_If there's anything I can do_  
_Just call on me and I'll send it along_  
_With love from me to you_


	4. Earlier Than The Early Bird

**[March 7, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Crowley MacLeod, Dean Winchester

 **[2:01 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** oi.  
**[2:01 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** dean.

 **[2:01 PM] Dean Winchester:** what

 **[2:01 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** stop doing that.

 **[2:01 PM] Dean Winchester:** i am just sitting here  
**[2:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** doing what ???

 **[2:02 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** that look.

 **[2:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** what look

 **[2:02 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** that look.

 **[2:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** well i can’t see it can i

 **[2:02 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** there's a mirror behind you.

 **[2:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** it’s my face

 **[2:04 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** yes.

 **[2:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** WHAT THE FUCK

* * *

**[March 7, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[5:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** i’m here where are you  
**[5:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** there’s a guy who’s been here for like an hour  
**[5:07 PM] Dean Winchester:** bitch is earlier than the early bird

 **[5:07 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm on my way. I'll be there in five minutes.  
**[5:07 PM] Castiel Novak:** Save me a spot?

 **[5:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** you don't have to ask  
**[5:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** did you bring a notebook tho  
**[5:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** some fool left theirs here so...

 **[5:09 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm not stealing a notebook.  
**[5:09 PM] Castiel Novak:** I already have one anyway.

 **[5:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** see you soon then

* * *

**[March 8, 2008]**

[Passed to Cas in History]

* * *

**[March 8, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[10:32 AM] Dean Winchester:** there we go with the cheering up **  
[10:32 AM] Dean Winchester** **:** you're cute when you smile

 **[10:32 AM] Castiel Novak** **:** Quiet, you.

* * *

**[March 9, 2008]**

**Private Chat: Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak**

**[11:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** Why didn't you join the art club?  
**[11:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** You draw really well.

 **[11:08 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** you're gonna make me blush cas <3

 **[11:08 PM] Castiel Novak:** Come on, why not?  
**[11:08 PM] Castiel Novak:** My brother wanted me to tell you he really likes that drawing of me you did.

 **[11:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** tell him thanks **  
[11:09 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** and my dad thinks drawing isn't manly enough i guess  
**[11:10 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** and the art club apparently does excursions and they need parental permission so i can't just join and not tell him  
**[11:10 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** at least the writing club stays where it is

 **[11:10 PM] Castiel Novak:** What about your mother?  
**[11:15 PM] Castiel Novak:** I apologize if I have crossed a line.

 **[11:15 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** it's okay  
**[11:15 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** she died when i was a kid  
**[11:15 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** dad got way stricter since then

 **[11:16 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm sorry.  
**[11:16 PM] Castiel Novak:** I know it was a long time ago but if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here.  
**[11:17 PM] Castiel Novak:** The same thing happened to me, so.

 **[11:17 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** oh dude i'm sorry

 **[11:17 PM] Castiel Novak:** A long time ago, like you. I'm fine, I was too young to remember them anyway, I suppose that that's a form of mercy.  
**[11:18 PM] Castiel Novak:** Maybe you can do your drawing in the notebook you got for writing.

 **[11:18 PM] Dean Winchester** **:** hey not a shabby idea

* * *

**[March 10, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[5:52 PM] Kevin Tran:** hey guys

 **[5:52 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** martha dumptruck in the flesh!

 **[5:52 PM] Jo Harvelle:** here comes the cootie squad!

 **[5:54 PM] Kevin Tran:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **[5:54 PM] Sam Winchester:** ugh what do you want

 **[5:55 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** sam, where are your manners?  
**[5:55 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** what the fuck do you want bitchass

 **[5:55 PM] Kevin Tran:** I BREATHED ????  
**[5:56 PM] Kevin Tran:** IS TODAY KEVIN ANTI DAY?? WHAT THE FUCK

 **[5:56 PM] Castiel Novak:** What is it, Kevin?

 **[5:56 PM] Kevin Tran:** the only good gay here is cas  
**[5:56 PM] Kevin Tran:** dean gets a pass for being his bf

 **[5:57 PM] Dean Winchester:** we're not dating

 **[5:57 PM] Kevin Tran:** yeah right and i'm failing my exams

 **[5:57 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** honestly kevin you'd probably fail on purpose

 **[5:57 PM] Kevin Tran:** STOP  
**[5:57 PM] Kevin Tran:** anyway i wanted to ask about the cohort trip to barcelona  
**[5:58 PM] Kevin Tran:** are you going?

 **[5:58 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** i'm going!!!

 **[5:58 PM] Jo Harvelle:** mom hasn't decided yet but dad said he's fine with it

 **[5:58 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** ^

 **[5:58 PM] Sam Winchester:** only dean's going  
**[5:58 PM] Sam Winchester:** dad said he'll only pay for one of us

 **[5:59 PM] Jo Harvelle:** sammy i wish you could come :(

 **[5:59 PM] Sam Winchester:** it's ok go have fun!!

 **[5:59 PM] Dean Winchester:** what about you cas

 **[5:59 PM] Castiel Novak:** Uncertain but I think I can go too.  
**[6:00 PM] Castiel Novak:** My father will probably insist on coming along as a chaperone.

 **[6:00 PM] Jo Harvelle:** mr novak is protective huh

 **[6:00 PM] Castiel Novak:** You can say that.

 **[6:00 PM] Kevin Tran:** i hope my mom lets me go :(  
**[6:00 PM] Kevin Tran:** why be in advanced placement if i don't get to go on these school trips

 **[6:01 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** FINESSE!

* * *

**[March 11, 2008]**

[Found on Dean's locker]

Snail dude:

You going to Barcelona too?

* * *

**[March 11, 2008]**

[Found on Dean's locker]

Locker 275:

Yes :)

* * *

**[March 12, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

 **Members:** Dean Winchester, Meg Masters, Crowley MacLeod

 **[2:13 AM] Meg Masters:** i heard dean-o and clarence are in writing club :)

 **[2:13 AM] Dean Winchester:** do we have to always text at ungodly hours

 **[2:13 AM] Meg Masters:** none of us are godly i thought we agreed it was fitting

 **[2:14 AM] Dean Winchester:** ok yeah we joined it what about it

 **[2:15 AM] Meg Masters:** you gonna write poetry, winchester?

 **[2:15 AM] Dean Winchester:** me, poetry ???  
**[2:15 AM] Dean Winchester:** imagine that and have a laugh

 **[2:16 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i'd think you would with how much you wax poetic about wings.

 **[2:16 AM] Dean Winchester:** why do you call him wings

 **[2:16 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** you're the one who calls him an angel.  
**[2:16 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i'm merely humoring your vision of him.

 **[2:17 AM] Dean Winchester:** HA HA CROWLEY HA HA

 **[2:17 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** thank you, i'll be here all night.

 **[2:17 AM] Dean Winchester:** and why do you call him clarence

 **[2:18 AM] Meg Masters:** the guardian angel in it's a wonderful life

 **[2:18 AM] Dean Winchester:** why did i even ask  
**[2:18 AM] Dean Winchester:** OH MY GOD  
**[2:18 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm so fucking stupid bye

 **[2:19 AM] Meg Masters:** i mean we know but what

* * *

**[March 12, 2008]**

[Found on Dean's locker]

Snail dude:

Cashing in that rain check on the snail finding at the pool today.


	5. Dean Winchester Is A Clown

**[March 12, 2008]**

Dean rocks back on his heels as he glances around the pool -- he reached first. After a moment, he decides to sit on the bleachers to wait for Snail Dude. If he's right about 'Clarence' -- because come on, it's not like Clarence is a common name around here -- then Meg calls Cas Clarence, and Snail Dude named the second snail Clarence, and Snail Dude is Cas.

It's about five minutes later when he hears the doors to the indoor pool open, the sound echoing through. Cas walks in, looking around until he spots Dean and his mouth falls open. "You're Locker 275?"

"And you're Snail Dude," Dean replies, pleased that he was right but still surprised that he didn't catch on sooner.

They stare at each other for a quiet ten seconds before they both burst out laughing. Cas's laugh is quieter compared to Dean's, but it still filled the room somehow. Cas eases up and smiles, "How did you figure it out?"

"Meg calls you Clarence," Dean answers. "Clarence the snail... You know." Cas nods, shrugging, and Dean suddenly grins widely, teasing, "Did I just beat Sherlock at his own game?"

"Shut up," Cas says, but there is no spite behind his words. "I was just testing you."

"Yeah right," Dean says sarcastically, still smiling like a fool. "Come on, admit it. Dean Winchester is a genius."

"No."

"Please?"

Cas rolls his eyes, "Dean Winchester is a clown."

Dean pulls his most dramatic offended look and gasps, "Castiel Novak! How could you?" Cas graces him with a flat look that just makes Dean laugh again. "Anyway, I'm serious. Let's look for those snails. Do you keep any of them?"

"My dad doesn't like it when I bring snails home," Cas answers. "I usually bring them to the school garden or, you know, leave them with you."

"They track slime all over my locker but at least they're cute," Dean says. "Just... let's bring them straight to the garden next time, alright? I think three snails is enough."

"Okay," Cas says. His laugh is a small huffing thing, and it is endearing no matter how many times Dean hears it.

Alright, so maybe he has a crush on this snail-collecting, Sherlock-like guy. So what?

* * *

**[March 13, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** John Winchester, Dean Winchester

 **[4:42 PM] John Winchester:** When is the Barcelona trip?

 **[4:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** march 15 to march 20, sir

 **[4:43 PM] John Winchester:** Are you packed?

 **[4:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** i was gonna start packing tonight

 **[4:47 PM] John Winchester:** Okay.  
 **[4:48 PM] John Winchester:** Don't make me regret sending you for the trip and not Sam. Learn something for once.

 **[4:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** yes, sir.

* * *

**[March 13, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** help

 **[12:03 PM] Kevin Tran:** something is wrong w sam

 **[12:03 PM] Dean Winchester:** what's wrong with sammy?  
 **[12:03 PM] Dean Winchester:** are you in math with him right now?  
 **[12:03 PM] Dean Winchester:** is he okay

 **[12:03 PM] Kevin Tran:** omg sorry nothing serious  
 **[12:04 PM] Kevin Tran:** i just mean w him and that girl he got a rat for

 **[12:04 PM] Castiel Novak:** I hope Oggy the rat is doing well.

 **[12:05 PM] Kevin Tran:** i try to forget oggy i really do

 **[12:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** what did sam do now

 **[12:05 PM] Kevin Tran:** he's being so suss  
 **[12:05 PM] Kevin Tran:** i asked him about his date and at first it was normal like yeah it went great and all that  
 **[12:06 PM] Kevin Tran:** then i asked him when he'll introduce us to her you know because that's what we do

 **[12:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** and?

 **[12:07 PM] Kevin Tran:** he closed off immediately ?? saying we didn't need to meet whoever he was dating  
 **[12:07 PM] Kevin Tran:** so at first i thought maybe she has like an embarrassing habit or something  
 **[12:08 PM] Kevin Tran:** then he went on a whole tangent about how he deserves privacy which yes i agree but he also has no problem with this before

 **[12:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** huh  
 **[12:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll try talking to him later

 **[12:09 PM] Castiel Novak:** Maybe he is still unclear on their relationship?

 **[12:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** yeah it totally could be  
 **[12:10 PM] Dean Winchester:** it's that or dad pissed in his cornflakes this morning

* * *

**[March 13, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[12:17 PM] Dean Winchester:** what's this i hear about you going off on kev

 **[12:29 PM] Sam Winchester:** ugh that  
 **[12:29 PM] Sam Winchester:** can you tell him i'm sorry

 **[12:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** tell him yourself man it means nothing if it comes from me  
 **[12:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** i just want to know why it bothered you so much  
 **[12:31 PM] Dean Winchester:** i thought you liked showing off your dates

 **[12:31 PM] Sam Winchester:** i do!

 **[12:31 PM] Dean Winchester:** then what is this really about?

 **[12:57 PM] Sam Winchester:** my date is a boy

 **[1:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** oh  
 **[1:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** sammy you know you can trust me with this

 **[1:01 PM] Sam Winchester:** i know i can  
 **[1:01 PM] Sam Winchester:** idk i guess i'm just scared about what dad would think

 **[1:02 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** well dad can piss off  
 **[1:02 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** i don't care about him and neither should you  
 **[1:02 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** if you like that guy then go for it, who cares what dad thinks

 **[1:03 PM] Sam** **Winchester:** you're right...  
 **[1:03 PM] Sam** **Winchester:** i can't wait until we're old enough to just move out

 **[1:03 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** you and me both man  
 **[1:05 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** and thanks for telling me  
 **[1:05 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** you were there for me when i told you i was bi  
 **[1:05 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** no matter who you are, i'm gonna be there for you too

 **[1:09 PM] Sam** **Winchester:** thanks dean  
 **[1:09 PM] Sam** **Winchester:** really

 **[1:09 PM] Dean** **Winchester:** that's what brothers are for

* * *

**[March 14, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i ain't get no pussy cos of y'all, y'all ain't get no pussy cos of me

 **[3:33 AM] Meg Masters:** happy satan's hour

 **[3:33 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** praise satan.

 **[3:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** Jesus is watching.

 **[3:34 AM] Meg Masters:** well well well... look who's awake at the devil's time  
 **[3:35 AM] Meg Masters:** anyway i wanted to ask if y'all were done packing for the trip

 **[3:35 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** finished at 2.

 **[3:36 AM] Bela Talbot:** been done since yesterday morning x

 **[3:36 AM] Dean Winchester:** yup sam and i packed my shit up before dinner

 **[3:36 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** did you need sam's help to pick up your luggage?

 **[3:36 AM] Dean Winchester:** why would i

 **[3:37 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i assume you have tiny hands.

 **[3:37 AM] Dean Winchester:** speak for yourself rat

 **[3:37 AM] Castiel Novak:** I was done yesterday.

 **[3:39 AM] Bela Talbot:** cassie darling is your father coming to chaperone?

 **[3:40 AM] Castiel Novak:** I convinced him that I will be fine on my own and so he has allowed me to go alone.  
 **[3:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** He almost tried to get my brother to go but Gabriel promised he wouldn't.

 **[3:41 AM] Meg Masters:** ugh gabe's fun wish he'd come

 **[3:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** i really need to meet this guy

 **[3:42 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** he's like a walking party.

 **[3:43 AM] Castiel Novak:** He's not that fun.

 **[3:43 AM] Meg Masters:** that's because you're not that fun

 **[3:43 AM] Castiel Novak:** One day you will have to pay for your actions and God may not be so merciful.

 **[3:44 AM] Meg Masters:** shut up churchy

* * *

**[March 15, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[5:05 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** IT'S BARCELONA DAYYYY

 **[5:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** ugh five days without my dad, true heaven

 **[5:06 AM] Castiel Novak:** Is he that awful?

 **[5:06 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** yeah i've never met him

 **[5:06 AM] Jo Harvelle:** yes

 **[5:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** yes

 **[5:06 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** yes

 **[5:06 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** dear god

 **[5:06 AM] Castiel Novak:** I understand.

 **[5:07 AM] Dean Winchester:** anyway enough about him  
 **[5:07 AM] Dean Winchester:** who did you guys get roomed with

 **[5:07 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** dorothy baum  
 **[5:07 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** i don't have any classes with her  
 **[5:07 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** this might be fun

 **[5:08 AM] Jo Harvelle:** she's in my chemistry class  
 **[5:08 AM] Jo Harvelle:** you would like her :) she's super hot

 **[5:09 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** IF GOD HATES GAYS WHY DO I KEEP WINNING

 **[5:09 AM] Castiel Novak:** God doesn't hate gays, for the record.

 **[5:09 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** EXACTLY CAS <3  
 **[5:09 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** anyway who are you rooming with

 **[5:10 AM] Jo Harvelle:** jessica moore !!!

 **[5:10 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** raphael finnerman  
 **[5:10 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i think he's one of those boring bitches :(

 **[5:10 AM] Castiel Novak:** Crowley.

 **[5:11 AM] Dean Winchester:** excuse me LUCKY ???

 **[5:11 AM] Castiel Novak:** Who did you get?

 **[5:11 AM] Dean Winchester:** idk who this dude is ??? bellfegor or something

 **[5:12 AM] Castiel Novak:** Belphegor?

 **[5:12 AM] Dean Winchester:** yeah what the fuck kinda name is BELPHEGOR  
 **[5:12 AM] Dean Winchester:** with a normal last name like KLINE. BELPHEGOR KLINE???

 **[5:12 AM] Jo Harvelle:** don't be mean </3  
 **[5:12 AM] Jo Harvelle:** ANYWAY someone please secure the back seats on the bus for the rest of us

 **[5:13 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** I'LL DO IT

* * *

**[March 16, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[8:49 PM] Sam Winchester:** hey man how's the trip so far?

 **[8:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** us in gayz ii women snuck out to have late dinner at mcdonalds  
 **[8:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** life is fucking great  
 **[8:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** what about your end? can't be all fun stuck with dad

 **[8:50 PM] Sam Winchester:** eh, i'll live  
 **[8:50 PM] Sam Winchester:** who'd you get paired up with for the hotel? i forgot to ask

 **[8:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** that kid belphegor

 **[8:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** maybe you can switch rooms with someone else

 **[8:51 PM] Dean Winchester:** not a bad idea man  
 **[8:51 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll check

 **[8:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** good luck  
 **[8:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** text me when you're at the hotel

 **[8:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** okay mom

* * *

**[March 16, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i ain’t get no pussy cos of y’all, y’all ain’t get no pussy cos of me

 **[10:38 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** dean.  
 **[10:38 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** can i switch rooms with you? i want to room with belph.

 **[10:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH HIM??? who named him THAT

 **[10:39 PM] Bela Talbot:** his name is crowley and your boyfriend is castiel but BELPHEGOR is a problem

 **[10:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** cas isn't my boyfriend

 **[10:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** Dean isn't my boyfriend.

 **[10:39 PM] Meg Masters:** yeah see we don't care  
 **[10:40 PM] Meg Masters:** we believe what we know and we know you're like madly in love with each other at this point

 **[10:40 PM] Crowley MacLeod:**...  
 **[10:40 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** so will you switch or...

 **[10:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** if cas is fine with it

 **[10:41 PM] Castiel Novak:** I am. **  
[10:41 PM] Castiel Novak:** Belphegor is already packing up his things anyway.

 **[10:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** okay then i'll be there in five minutes

 **[10:42 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** thanks lads.

 **[10:42 PM] Bela Talbot:** don't have too much fun boys x

* * *

**[March 17, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[12:20 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** DOROTHY IS AMAZING  
 **[12:20 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** i think i'm in love

 **[12:20 AM] Dean Winchester:** again when have you ever met a girl you didn't fall in love with

 **[12:20 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** jo harvelle prime example

 **[12:21 AM] Jo Harvelle:** WHAT THE FUCK  
 **[12:21 AM] Jo Harvelle:** nobody asked you to come for my neck like that

 **[12:21 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** sorry jo you know i love you <3

 **[12:21 AM] Jo Harvelle:** do i really

 **[12:21 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** also if me and dorothy get married can dean be the dj at our wedding

 **[12:22 AM] Dean Winchester:** yeah dj got y’all falling in love <3 **  
**

 **[12:22 AM] Sam Winchester:** i can't stand you omg

* * *

**[March 17, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[1:03 AM] Dean Winchester:  
  
** **[1:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** ain't he adorable

 **[1:03 AM] Sam Winchester:** dude  
 **[1:03 AM] Sam Winchester:** "you look cute" ???  
 **[1:03 AM] Sam Winchester:** you are GONE on cas  
 **[1:04 AM] Sam Winchester:** like "never finding your way home again" gone on cas

 **[1:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** i am NOT gone on cas

 **[1:04 AM] Sam Winchester:** you literally drew him and wrote that he looked cute do you expect me to believe you **  
[1:05 AM] Sam Winchester:** if only you saw the way you look at cas  
 **[1:05 AM] Sam Winchester:** dean gay

 **[1:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** excuse me dean STRAIGHT  
 **[1:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** god that hurt to write

 **[1:05 AM] Sam Winchester:** did you show that to him yet

 **[1:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** unless i have a reason to, no <3

 **[1:06 AM] Sam Winchester:** you have a big crush on him is that not reason enough

 **[1:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** i don't have a crush on cas so no <3

 **[1:06 AM] Sam Winchester:** man i really do hate y'all sometimes


	6. Captain Destiel

**[March 17, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** barcelona squad

 **Members:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak, Charlie Bradbury, Jo Harvelle, Garth Fitzgerald, Crowley MacLeod, Meg Masters, Bela Talbot, Belphegor Kline

 **[7:32 AM] Belphegor Kline:** it's so fucking early  
**[7:32 AM] Belphegor Kline:** i wish i could die

 **[7:32 AM] Meg Masters:** what are you waiting for

 **[7:32 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i believe in you.

 **[7:32 AM] Belphegor Kline:** Y'ALL SO RUDE AND FOR WHAT ????  
**[7:33 AM] Belphegor Kline:** whatever so i'm gonna go for a mcdonald's breakfast run i'm not having any of this hotel crap  
**[7:33 AM] Belphegor Kline:** who wants summ

 **[7:33 AM] Bela Talbot:** belphy dear you're a gift from god

 **[7:34 AM] Belphegor Kline:** how dare you

 **[7:34 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i'll go with you.  
**[7:34 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** dean, you coming?

 **[7:35 AM] Meg Masters:** you asked dean as if he wants to leave his bed without his husband

 **[7:35 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** you're right.  
**[7:35 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** castiel, will you come along?

 **[7:36 AM] Castiel Novak:** Okay.

 **[7:36 AM] Dean Winchester:** can i come along

 **[7:36 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** you numbskulled bitch i already asked you

* * *

**[March 17, 2008]**

“I hope you didn’t have too much fun last night, boys,” Crowley teases once Dean and Cas come out of their room into the hallway. Belphegor gives them a shit-eating grin and Dean automatically has two thoughts: 1, thank God he and Cas’s roommates switched rooms and 2, in a different context, maybe Dean would have gotten along with him. 

“Don’t be crass,” Cas says, rolling his eyes as he walks ahead with Belphegor jumping around him like a demonically excited puppy.

Crowley walks down the hall with Dean and asks, “Will you ever stop dancing around?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean frowns. Belphegor leans back, points at Cas, and mimics a gun with his hand, pressing two fingers to his temple. Cas grabs his jacket to keep him moving forward.

Cas and Belphegor get into the elevator and Crowley tugs at Dean’s arm to keep him hanging back, using his spare hand to wave them ahead. Crowley says, “We’ll catch the next one.” Cas narrows his eyes at him and mouths an apology to Dean before the doors close.

“Okay, dude, what is this?” Dean asks, stepping back to look at Crowley with a suspicious look.

Crowley sighs and says, “Don’t tell him I said this, but Wings is actually a dear friend of mine. While you are too, I have a soft spot for Churchy.”

"I think we all do," Dean mutters. "But what's your point?"

“The point is,” Crowley says, raising his eyebrows as if warning him against interrupting. “That if you think you’re slick with this crush on him, you’re wrong, because we all see it. Wings might not but that’s because he’s generally oblivious to feelings if they aren’t his own. So, if you like him as much as I know you do, just tell him.”

Dean stares at Crowley, dumbfounded, “Since when did you care about this kind of thing?”

Crowley gives Dean an unreadable look -- Dean hates having any sort of talk like this with Crowley because the guy was simply unreadable. You won’t see much more than he’s willing to show you. Talking to him is almost like having a blind spot the whole time. He eventually says, “Just do it, Dean. It’s a lot less effort than what you’re doing.”

When they enter the elevator to meet up with Cas and Belphegor in the hotel lobby, Crowley snaps right back to his normal self.

* * *

**[March 17, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** destiel agenda

 **Members:** Sam Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Jo Harvelle, Garth Fitzgerald, Crowley MacLeod, Meg Masters, Bela Talbot, Kevin Tran

 **[1:05 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** destiel agenda?  
**[1:05 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** what the fuck is a destiel.

 **[1:05 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** (de)an + ca(stiel) = destiel !!!!!

 **[1:06 PM] Meg Masters:** i knew i failed math for a reason

 **[1:06 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** REAL TALK do you think dean and cas are really in love with each other

 **[1:06 PM] Jo Harvelle:** they have been acting extra in love lately

 **[1:06 PM]** **Kevin Tran:** as if that’s possible

 **[1:07 PM]** **Sam Winchester:** why are you discussing my brother’s love life  
**[1:07 PM] Sam Winchester:** WITHOUT ME?

 **[1:07 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** omg hi captain destiel

 **[1:07 PM]** **Sam Winchester:** what are you all discussing today

 **[1:08 PM] Jo Harvelle:** i want dean to admit that he’s in love w cas  
**[1:08 PM] Jo Harvelle:** we’ll be taking the bus to the museum at 1:30 so someone sit next to cas before dean can

 **[1:08 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** why not, i'll do it.  
**[1:08 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i like to see dean squirm.

 **[1:09 PM]** **Sam Winchester:** i'll give crowley $2 if dean texts me that he and cas are together tonight

 **[1:09 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** cheap but i'll take it.

 **[1:09 PM] Meg Masters:** y'all scheming  
**[1:09 PM] Meg Masters:** i like that

* * *

**[March 17, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Crowley MacLeod

 **[1:34 PM] Dean Winchester:** WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

 **[1:34 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i do many things. you'll have to be more specific.

 **[1:34 PM] Dean Winchester:** YOU SITTING WITH CAS AFTER ASKING ME TO TELL HIM ABOUT MY "CRUSH" ON HIM?

 **[1:34 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** ah, that.  
**[1:35 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** as the world has put so elegantly, you snooze, you lose.

 **[1:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** stop making him laugh you clown  
**[1:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** that's my job

 **[1:36 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i remember your job being to look out for sammy.

 **[1:36 PM] Dean Winchester:** come on man don't be a dick  
**[1:36 PM] Dean Winchester:** STOP LAUGHING

 **[1:36 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** jealous?  
**[1:37 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** [image of cas and crowley staring seriously at the camera]  
**[1:37 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** ok boss.

 **[1:37 PM] Dean Winchester:** i really hate you sometimes

 **[1:38 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** flirt.

 **[1:59 PM] Dean Winchester:** ok  
**[2:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** fine  
**[2:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** you win  
**[2:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** if i ask cas out on a date will you switch seats with me on the trip back  
**[2:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** i really want to sit with cas

 **[2:02 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** see, that wasn't so hard.

* * *

**[March 17, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[9:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** wish me luck

 **[9:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** why?  
**[9:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** are you going to ask cas out?  
**[9:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** DEAN????

 **[10:28 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm back

 **[10:28 PM] Sam Winchester:** WELL HOW DID IT GO??

 **[10:28 PM] Dean Winchester:** he looked really tired so i thought i'd wait until tomorrow

 **[10:29 PM] Sam Winchester:** admit it you chickened out

 **[10:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** ...  
**[10:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** i chickened out.

 **[10:30 PM] Sam Winchester:** WHY? he obviously likes you too

 **[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** idk man  
**[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** cas is special  
**[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** i don't wanna risk ruining anything i guess

 **[10:31 PM] Sam Winchester:** you won't  
**[10:31 PM] Sam Winchester:** ask him out

* * *

**[March 18, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** god squad

 **Members:** Castiel Novak, Gabriel Novak, Anael Jo, Inias Garrison, Balthazar Freely, Anna Milton, Zachariah Adler, Metatron Scribe, Michael Shurley

_Balthazar Freely removed Metatron Scribe_

**[12:05 PM] Balthazar Freely:** sorry everyone idk why that bitch was here

 **[12:05 PM] Zachariah Adler:** i know, nobody likes him!

 **[12:05 PM] Balthazar Freely:** LMAOOO RIGHT?

_Balthazar Freely removed Zachariah Adler_

**[12:05 PM] Anael Jo:** KMDKNVDKN???

 **[12:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** Thank you, Balthazar.

 **[12:06 PM] Balthazar Freely:** cassie are you ok  
**[12:06 PM] Balthazar Freely:** metatron is a poo poo head

 **[12:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, I am. It’s just words.

 **[12:06 PM] Michael Shurley:** Gabriel is going to lose his mind in 3, 2...

 **[12:07 PM] Gabriel Novak:** WHAT DID METATRON DO TO MY BRO???

 **[12:07 PM] Castiel Novak:** Just made fun of me. I don’t even know why he was. Dean got into an argument with him.

 **[12:07 PM] Anna Milton:** i saw that metatron is in hospital??? 

**[12:07 PM] Gabriel Novak:** what happened to that bitch

 **[12:08 PM] Inias Garrison:** he got hit by a bicycle and broke his nose.

 **[12:08 PM] Michael Shurley:** Did somebody knock him down?

 **[12:08 PM] Anael Jo:** he ran into dean’s fist it’s the strangest thing

 **[12:08 PM] Gabriel Novak:** cassie i approve of this winchester kid

 **[12:08 PM] Castiel Novak:** Gabriel no

* * *

**[March 18, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** canon destiel

 **Members:** Sam Winchester, Crowley MacLeod, Gabriel Novak

 **[3:49 PM] Gabriel Novak:** what the hell is a destiel

 **[3:49 PM] Sam Winchester:** it doesn't matter <3  
**[3:49 PM] Sam Winchester:** novak??? is that cas's brother??

 **[3:49 PM] Gabriel Novak:** yes it's me  
**[3:49 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i asked crowley to get me your number bc you know someone i need you to talk to

 **[3:50 PM] Sam Winchester:** why can't you text them yourself

 **[3:50 PM] Gabriel Novak:** because cas can't know that i am MEDDLING!  
**[3:50 PM] Gabriel Novak:** alright so listen  
**[3:51 PM] Gabriel Novak:** do not tell anyone any of this or i will personally murder you

 **[3:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** i've never met you so i don’t doubt you will so i'll shut the fuck up

 **[3:51 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** relax, he's harmless.

 **[3:51 PM] Gabriel Novak:** if you don't STOP  
**[3:52 PM] Gabriel Novak:** anyway  
**[3:52 PM] Gabriel Novak:** castiel has a stupid fucking crush on that ken doll

 **[3:52 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** going to have to be a little more specific with this ken doll.

 **[3:52 PM] Gabriel Novak:** the snail collector with the weird necklace

 **[3:53 PM] Sam Winchester:** dean???

 **[3:53 PM] Gabriel Novak:** yes him

 **[3:53 PM] Sam Winchester:** you can just say his name you know

 **[3:54 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i could but i’d rather not remember his name

 **[3:54 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** sometimes i don’t want to remember dean either, it’s ok.

 **[3:54 PM] Sam Winchester:** KMDSKVND????

 **[3:54 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i thought you didn't approve.

 **[3:54 PM] Gabriel Novak:** you're right i don't think any boy is good enough for my little bro  
**[3:55 PM] Gabriel Novak:** but i was just told that he punched that metatron guy for talking shit about him  
**[3:55 PM] Gabriel Novak:** he's earned my approval

 **[3:55 PM] Sam Winchester:** if all it took was dean beating someone up then i would have asked dean to beat crowley ages ago

 **[3:55 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** OI.

 **[3:56 PM] Gabriel Novak:** ANYWAY  
**[3:56 PM] Gabriel Novak:** MATCHMAKE THEM.  
**[3:56 PM] Gabriel Novak:** or next you see me i will take matters into my own hands

 **[3:56 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** what do you mean?

 **[3:56 PM] Sam Winchester:** gabriel???

* * *

**[March 18, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[6:38 PM]** **Castiel Novak:** Dean, there is a Furby.  
**[6:38 PM] Castiel Novak:** Do you mind if I buy it?

 **[6:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** if you want it, get it

 **[6:38 PM] Castiel Novak:** Could you spot me $5?

 **[6:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** yeah sure  
**[6:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** oh dude i left my wallet on the bus  
**[6:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** you're with charlie right  
**[6:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** borrow from her first, i'll pay her back later

 **[6:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** Alright. **  
[6:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** Do you care if I take the skin off of the Furby when we're back at the hotel?  
**[6:40 PM] Castiel Novak:** I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh can he begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.  
**[6:40 PM] Castiel Novak:** And Charlie wants to soft-hack its circuits.

 **[6:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** do whatever you want but never say anything as frightening as that ever again

* * *

**[March 18, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[11:25 PM] Dean Winchester:** he's cutting a furby open i'll ask him tomorrow

 **[11:25 PM] Sam Winchester:** CUTTING A FURBY OPEN???  
**[11:25 PM] Sam Winchester:** I HATE Y'ALL

* * *

**[March 19, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Meg Masters, Crowley MacLeod

 **[2:08 PM] Meg Masters:** cas fainted  
**[2:08 PM] Meg Masters:** i don't know what to do

 **[2:08 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i'm on my way.

 **[2:08 PM] Meg Masters:** should i get winchester here?  
**[2:09 PM] Meg Masters:** i think he has water, maybe cas is dehydrated

 **[2:09 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** no. i'll bring water.  
**[2:09 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i'll let gabriel know too.

* * *

**[March 19, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[2:15 PM] Dean Winchester:** cas, where you at?

 **[2:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** cas?

 **[2:23 PM] Castiel Novak:** weather was too hot, castiel fainted.

 **[2:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** you took care of it?

 **[2:24 PM] Castiel Novak:** yes. don't worry. he'll be back with you soon enough.

 **[2:24 PM] Dean Winchester:** why didn't you call me?

 **[2:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** he didn't want to worry you.

 **[3:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** you okay?

 **[3:02 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, Dean. I’m okay. I’m sorry for worrying you.

 **[3:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** all good. as long as you’re fine  
**[3:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** if you start feeling sick again, tell me

 **[3:03 PM] Castiel Novak:** Okay.

* * *

**[March 19, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** barcelona squad

 **[4:20 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** are you all packed?

 **[4:20 PM] Bela Talbot:** i am excited to be back in my room

 **[4:20 PM] Meg Masters:** if i lived in a mansion i would be too

 **[4:21 PM] Jo Harvelle:** KANSAS HERE WE COME YESSSSS

* * *

**[March 20, 2008]**

Castiel is greeted with Gabriel’s tight hug the moment he finds him at the school gates, his embrace pulling him under shelter and out of the rain. At least the school was nice enough to give the students a ride back to the school compound instead of getting them to go home from the airport. **  
**

“I’m fine, Gabriel. Just didn’t drink enough water,” Cas assures.

“You can’t scare me like that, man,” Gabriel frowns, cupping Cas’s face in that protective-brother way, his eyes scanning Cas for any signs that he’s still unwell, and Cas just frowns back. “Dad damn near tore me apart for not arguing that he should have come along! At least his favorite son’s at home placating him.”

“My apologies to Michael,” Cas says, deadpan.

Gabriel laughs and guides Cas to the backseat of his car. “Come on, let’s go home. Michael’s worried sick.” Cas gets himself settled, school bag in the back, and Gabriel gets the car started. “So, how was the trip?”

“If you find a ravaged Furby in my bag, I promise it was for scientific purposes,” Cas replies.

Gabriel grins widely, leaning lower slightly to look ahead. “A Furby, huh? I hope that’s not the only thing you were doing the whole time. Did you make any friends?”

“Not any new ones, but I suppose I got a little more acquainted with Belphegor.”

“What about that kid, Dean?” Gabriel asks, glancing into the distance ahead.

Cas looks out of the window and shrugs. “Dean’s Dean. Why?”

Gabriel grins cheekily and says, “Well, he’s up there with his baby bro in the rain, so why don’t I give them a ride home and your boy toy can sit in the back with you?”

“Wait, Gabriel --“

Gabriel drives ahead to catch up with Sam and Dean before slowing down, rolling the window down. “Hey boys. Need a lift?” Dean squints and bends down to see the driver and his eyes widen when he sees Cas in the backseat, looking embarrassed. Sam stares at Gabriel and glances back at Cas.

“Yeah, we’d appreciate it,” Dean says. “Think we’ll get your seats wet, though.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I can clean it up later,” Gabriel dismisses, unlocking the doors. “Hop in. Sammy, up here with me. Dean-o, you sit in the back with Cas.” Cas kicks Gabriel’s seat from behind and the elder Novak laughs while Sam shrugs, getting into the passenger seat. Dean slides in next to Cas in the backseat. “Why were you two walking in the rain anyway?

“Dad wouldn’t drive us home,” Sam shrugs, adjusting his school bag over his head. “Didn’t give us money for bus fare either.”

“What a dick,” Gabriel replies, and then their conversation grows quieter and leaves room for Dean and Cas.

“Gabriel’s nicer than I thought he’d be,” Dean starts.

Cas rolls his eyes, “He’s only mean when he’s angry. Otherwise, he’s like candy.”

“Sweet?”

“At first, then he gets sickening,” Cas says flatly, making Dean laugh.

Gabriel glances back at him for a second, “Hey, I heard that. You _never_ say any of this about Michael.”

“You have another brother?” Dean asks, curious.

“Gabriel and I were adopted by Michael’s mother before she married his father,” Cas explains offhandedly. “His father doesn’t particularly like us but Michael does.”

“Someone doesn’t like you? Sounds fake to me,” Dean says. Cas casts a soft smile his way and Dean feels butterflies in his chest, in the most disgusting cliché way. “He doesn’t know what he’s on about. At least this Michael dude’s got brains.”

Cas grins, “Michael would like you.”

“Who wouldn’t? Come on, look at me,” Dean jokes. Cas laughs, and all Dean can do is fall.


	7. Morning, Sunshine

**[March 22, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i am shurvaked

 **Members:** Michael Shurley, Gabriel Novak, Castiel Novak

 **[12:29 PM] Michael Shurley:** The name is still terrible.  
 **[12:29 PM] Michael Shurley:** Shurvak looks so ugly.

 **[12:30 PM] Gabriel Novak:** look who’s texting during mass

 **[12:30 PM] Michael Shurley:** The name was too horrible to ignore.

 **[12:30 PM] Gabriel Novak:** change it then bitch

_Michael Shurley renamed the group ‘N2S’_

**[12:31 PM] Michael Shurley:** Novak squared, Shurley. N2S.

 **[12:31 PM] Gabriel Novak:** ...  
 **[12:31 PM] Gabriel Novak:** that is kinda better i guess...

 **[12:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** Some of us are trying to pay attention in church.

 **[12:32 PM] Gabriel Novak:** you’re here texting us aren’t you

 **[12:32 PM] Castiel Novak:** Touché.

 **[12:32 PM] Michael Shurley:** Before I forget. Castiel, Dad said I'll start giving you rides to and from school instead of Gabriel.

 **[12:33 PM] Gabriel Novak:** wait what  
 **[12:33 PM] Gabriel Novak:** why  
 **[12:33 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i'm awesome at picking him up from school

 **[12:34 PM] Michael Shurley:** Yes, Gabriel. I'm well aware of the pride you take in fetching Castiel from school... Despite how mundane the task...  
 **[12:34 PM] Michael Shurley:** I won't' sugarcoat it. Dad said you weren't responsible enough. I think he's still peeved about you talking him out of going with Castiel on his trip. I don't agree, but that's what he thinks.

 **[12:35 PM] Gabriel Novak:** he's still mad about that?

 **[12:35 PM] Castiel Novak:** That wasn't even Gabriel's fault.  
 **[12:35 PM] Castiel Novak:** I told Dad I would be fine.

 **[12:36 PM] Michael Shurley:** Dad can be a little... Well, you know.  
 **[12:36 PM] Michael Shurley:** I know you thought you could handle yourself, and I know Gabriel just wanted you to enjoy Barcelona without Dad hovering around. I understand where you both come from and I completely agree.  
 **[12:37 PM] Michael Shurley:** But you know how Dad is. One mess up and you get the boot.

 **[12:37 PM] Castiel Novak:** I can talk to Dad for you, Gabriel.

 **[12:38 PM] Gabriel Novak:** thanks cas  
 **[12:38 PM] Gabriel Novak:** but don't bother  
 **[12:38 PM] Gabriel Novak:** yeah, mic will pick you up instead

* * *

**[March 22, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Michael Shurley, Gabriel Novak

 **[12:40 PM] Michael Shurley:** I'm sorry, Gabriel.  
 **[12:40 PM] Michael Shurley:** I'm sure it will blow over soon, but I can talk to Dad.

 **[12:40 PM] Gabriel Novak:** seriously, it's fine

 **[12:41 PM] Michael Shurley:** Castiel isn't here, you don't have to put on a front.  
 **[12:41 PM] Michael Shurley:** I know it bothers you. You worry about him. So do I.  
 **[12:41 PM] Michael Shurley:** Forget what Dad says. You wanted Cas to have a good time and he did. He told me he spent a lot of time with his friends and that Winchester boy. That was you, Gabriel. Despite what Dad says, you're a good brother.

 **[12:42 PM] Gabriel Novak:** thanks, michael

 **[12:42 PM] Michael Shurley:** Castiel's classes always end in the afternoon and Dad told me to take him out for lunch before coming home, so why don't you join us then?

 **[12:42 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i'd like that  
 **[12:43 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i don't say it often, i hate getting all serious, but you've been nicer to cas and i way more than i'd have thought you'd be

 **[12:43 PM] Michael Shurley:** I don't care about anything else, I just care that you guys are my brothers and I love you two.

 **[12:43 PM] Gabriel Novak:** we love you too bro  
 **[12:43 PM] Gabriel Novak:** really

* * *

**[March 22, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[8:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** morning sunshine  
 **[8:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** am i gonna see you at the bus stop for school?

 **[8:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** Michael is driving me to and from school now, so unfortunately not.

 **[8:30 AM] Dean Winchester:** aw man  
 **[8:30 AM] Dean Winchester:** i was excited to see you

 **[8:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** We'll be seeing each other in class.

 **[8:31 AM] Dean Winchester:** well yeah but :(

 **[8:31 AM] Castiel Novak:** Give me a second.  
 **[8:32 AM] Castiel Novak:** Michael just asked if you want him to drive you and Sam to school too since your place is on the way.

 **[8:32 AM] Dean Winchester:** wow yeah i'll ask sammy  
 **[8:33 AM] Dean Winchester:** he's up for it  
 **[8:33 AM] Dean Winchester:** when'll you get here?

 **[8:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** In about ten minutes. Will you be ready then?

 **[8:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** yup  
 **[8:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** see ya angel

 **[8:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** Angel?

 **[8:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** does it bother you if i call you that?

 **[8:35 AM] Castiel Novak:** Not at all :)

 **[8:56 AM] Dean Winchester:** what happened to gabe i thought he drove you

 **[8:56 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dad's overreacting to me fainting in Barcelona and reassigned my transportation to Michael.

 **[8:56 AM] Dean Winchester:** first off, i never get why you talk so formally  
 **[8:57 AM] Dean Winchester:** second, wow  
 **[8:57 AM] Dean Winchester:** i kinda miss the guy even tho i met him just the one time

 **[8:57 AM] Castiel Novak:** Gabriel does grow on you.

* * *

**[March 22, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **Members:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[8:59 AM] Dean Winchester:** boo

 **[8:59 AM] Castiel Novak:** This is no way to treat the man who is driving you to school.

 **[8:59 AM] Dean Winchester:** when i get the impala from dad, do you think yours will let me drive you to school

 **[9:00 AM] Sam Winchester:** will probably ask you to marry him first

 **[9:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** would he

 **[9:00 AM] Castiel Novak:** .

 **[9:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** NO WAY

 **[9:01 AM] Sam Winchester:** aw a stint in your plans

 **[9:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** ok fine  
 **[9:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** cas will you marry me

 **[9:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** No.

 **[9:02 AM] Sam Winchester:** LMAOMDKSFMKDS

 **[9:02 AM] Dean Winchester:** WHAT THE FUCK  
 **[9:02 AM] Dean Winchester:** WHY NOT

 **[9:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** Ask me properly.

 **[9:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** I DID  
 **[9:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** WILL YOU MARRY ME CAS?

 **[9:03 AM] Sam Winchester:** this is so embarrassing

 **[9:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** WILL  
 **[9:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** YOU  
 **[9:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** MARRY

 **[9:04 AM] Castiel Novak:** Forgive me, I tend to be traditional when it comes to these things.

 **[9:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** ME  
 **[9:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** what does that mean

 **[9:04 AM] Sam Winchester:** dean just think a little harder  
 **[9:05 AM] Sam Winchester:** use that last brain cell

 **[9:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** are you telling me to ask you...  
 **[9:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** oh  
 **[9:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** OH

* * *

Dean looks up from his phone to Cas, who has turned around from his place in the passenger seat to look at Dean. Michael raises an eyebrow in the rearview mirror at Dean, but he can't even bring himself to care. Sam glances between them in anticipation, waiting for Dean to just spit it out.

Cas smiles, wide and sunny, and the question tumbles right out of Dean's lips before he has the chance to think. "Will you go out with me?"

Right as Cas says yes, grinning, Michael's eyes widen. " _What_?" Sam bursts out laughing and Michael rolls his eyes, saying, "I'm really unequipped for the big brother talk. I'll have Gabriel deal with you."

The remainder of the trip -- just a few minutes -- is mostly quiet, with Sam whispering excitedly with Cas, Michael driving silently and Dean just staring at Cas, smiling. Once they reach school, Michael gives Cas a firm pat on his shoulder before letting him go. Sam runs up to catch up with him -- Dean still doesn’t know if it’s cute that Sam’s taller than Cas despite being a year younger, or if it’s unfair that Sam’s taller than Dean despite being a year younger. When Dean gets his bag strap over his shoulder, Michael turns back in the driver’s seat and says to him, “If you hurt Castiel and break his heart, I will put the fear of God in you.”

"Okay, sir."

Michael stares at him -- even though he isn’t biologically related to Cas, Dean can still see some form of resemblance between the adoptive brothers. They both have blue eyes, even if they’re different types. Cas’s are like bottled lightning, Michael’s are like harsh tides. They’re the same kind of steady. They stare at people the same way.

Dean says, hoping to alleviate some tension, “Cas learned it from you.”

Michael blinks. “Excuse me?”

“His Sherlock thing. He learned it from you,” Dean clarifies, rubbing his hands together as he glances out of the car window. Cas looks back at him and Dean waves him off. Cas hesitates but nods, going off with Sam into school.

Michael’s eyes go from wary to contemplative like he’s about to prove Dean’s guess. When he moves, it’s to open his wallet hand him $30, saying, “You and your brother’s lunch is on me.”

It’s Dean’s turn to be caught off-guard. “Okay, _how_?”

“Your bag strap’s barely hanging on its threads, your jacket’s sleeves fray at the edges, the second hand on your watch isn’t moving anymore, but you’ve replaced none of these. Obviously, you’ve got more important things to spend your money on, like on your brother. His bag's just fine and yours is in its last days. Your parents won’t pay for your food or ride home, so you pay for it yourself,” Michael rattles off, and Dean is amazed at how much like his older brother Cas is. “Lunch is on me. Get yourself a new schoolbag.”

“You really are Cas’s brother,” Dean marvels absently. “Thank you, sir.”

“It's no problem, and Michael is fine,” he says. “Get to class, Dean.”

* * *

**[March 22, 2008]**

[Passed to Dean in History]

What did Michael want?

C

* * *

[Passed to Cas in History]

He gave me money for me and Sam's lunch.

D

* * *

[Passed to Dean in History]

He beat me to it. I take it he saw your bag and watch.

C

* * *

[Passed to Cas in History]

You guys are SCARY.

D

* * *

**[March 23, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[3:20 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** bess is my girlfriend  
 **[3:20 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** :))))))

 **[3:20 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** GARTH OMGG  
 **[3:21 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!!!

 **[3:21 PM] Kevin Tran:** GARTH FREAKING FITZGERALD

 **[3:21 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm so happy for you, Garth.

 **[3:21 PM] Sam Winchester:** THAT'S SO EXCITING MAN

 **[3:22 PM] Dean Winchester:** GARTH HOLY FUCKING SHIT

 **[3:20 PM] Jo Harvelle:** GET SOME GET SOME

* * *

**[March 23, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i have a date help

 **Members:** Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Crowley MacLeod

 **[6:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** i asked cas out today

 **[6:04 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** DEAN OMG  
 **[6:04 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING EARLIER

 **[6:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** bi panic

 **[6:05 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** how did you ask him?

 **[6:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** in front of his brother

 **[6:05 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** ...  
 **[6:05 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i'm inclined to ask which one.

 **[6:06 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** CAS HAS ANOTHER BROTHER???

 **[6:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** ... michael.

 **[6:06 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** and you’re still alive? i applaud you.

 **[6:06 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** who the fuck is michael

 **[6:07 PM] Dean Winchester:** cas and gabe’s big bro

 **[6:07 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** back to the topic at hand.  
 **[6:07 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** what do you have planned for now?

 **[6:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** i kinda want to take him to waffle house for a quick meal, then to see an exorcism and then finish off with a movie before having him home by 6

 **[6:08 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** EXORCISM????

 **[6:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** and then a movie

 **[6:08 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** DEAN WINCHESTER

 **[6:09 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** dean, that sounds perfect.

 **[6:09 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** stop encouraging his chaotic behavior???

 **[6:09 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i mean. that sucks oh you better stop.

* * *

Dean shows up at Cas’s door in a plain black button-down shirt and dark blue jeans, with his hair done up by Sam just before he left the house. He’d originally thought that a leather jacket that he saves for special occasions, I.E. dates, over his best flannel shirt would have been alright, and his normal hairstyle, until Sam insisted that Cas deserves better than flannel. This results in Sam going through Dean’s closet to find something moderately classy -- the black button-up -- and five rushed minutes of styling Dean’s hair in the mirror to look good.

Michael answers the door and he looks Dean up and down. “You and Castiel have a date.”

“Yep,” Dean nods slowly, awkwardly popping the ‘p’.

“I don’t need to repeat myself.”

“Nope.”

“Good. Gabriel has some choice words for you before we hand Castiel over,” Michael replies.

Gabriel comes through the door and says, “Winchester, hands off of my baby bro. Not even first base.”

“Oh my God,” Cas mutters, horrified. He pushes past Gabriel, embarrassed. “I’m _17_.”

“Baby bro,” Gabriel insists. “Anyway, have fun, kiddo.”

Dean laughs once the door shuts. “They’re protective.”

“They’re nightmares,” Cas corrects, shaking his head. “Let’s go. What’d you have in mind?”

“Dinner at the Roadhouse, then I’ve got something cool planned, and a movie to end the night.”

* * *

“I’ve been waiting to see this movie since the trailer came out,” Dean says excitedly, getting into his seat in the theatre while balancing the bucket of popcorn on his lap.

Cas sits down next to him and says, “I haven’t seen any trailers for this but I’m sure it’ll be good. Also, the exorcism caught me off guard. I didn’t expect you to exorcise _me_.”

“It was just holy water, Cas.”

“To the _face_!” Cas says, appalled, before he laughs it off. “You’re so cheesy. ‘Too good to be true, I have to exorcise you’. Don’t you think holy water would be counterproductive in exorcising angels?”

Dean frowns in thought, “Aren’t demons supposed to be charming, though?”

“Shut up,” Cas chuckles, grabbing a handful of popcorn and pushing it to Dean’s face. “The previews are gonna end soon.”

When the movie starts up, Dean feels Cas stiffen next to him and sees him turn around a few times from his peripheral vision. He leans over and whispers, “Is something wrong?”

“My father is in the back row,” Cas whispers back, sinking in his seat.

“No,” Dean practically groans and Cas huffs quiet laughter.

“Yeah.”

Dean contemplates it for a while before he shrugs, picking up the popcorn bucket. He whispers, “Let’s get outta here.”

Cas grabs his arm to stop him from standing, saying quietly, “Come on, you wanted to see this movie.”

“It’s not like I can’t watch it another time. I’ve got something else better anyway,” Dean replies. “Let’s go before your dad sees us.” Cas rolls his eyes and the two boys make their silent leave from the theatre. Thank God Dean got them aisle seats, neither of them were jazzed about the idea of blocking people’s view of the movie.

Thankfully, Chuck -- Cas’s dad -- doesn’t see them leave, so they walk out of the cinema giggling and neither of them even knows why. Dean takes Cas’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together. Where Cas’s fingers are soft and gentle, Dean’s are a little rough with all the work he’s done with John on Baby, and it feels right.

They run out of the theatre and wave goodbye to the usher who gives them a bright smile, and somehow they end up in the fairly vacant park in the grass, waiting for the sun to go down.

“You’re right, this is better,” Cas says, watching as the sky begins to bleed in shades of lilac and pink as the sun begins to dip below the horizon. 

Dean smiles, lying back so he’s propped up on his elbows. He looks over at Cas and agrees, “Way more beautiful.”

Cas glances back at him and maybe it’s the sunset, but his cheeks tint red as he says, “You’re not even looking at the sunset.”

“I know.”

“You’re so cheesy,” Cas says once again, but he’s biting back a smile and he’s so endearing that Dean’s heart kind of aches in his chest. Dean wishes he had his notebook right now -- Cas looks so beautiful, smiling at the sun with pinks and oranges cast over his face, that Dean just wants to draw it and remember every detail forever.

Dean settles for the on-hand option instead; he takes out his phone and snaps a photo of Cas. Cas notices the phone raised from the corner of his eye and turns around, “Did you just take a photo of me?”

“Maybe,” Dean says, looking down at his screen. “Relax, you look good.”

“Delete!” Cas says, reaching out for the phone.

Dean stretches his arm back out of Cas’s reach and leans back, grinning. “No way. You look really pretty.”

“Stop it,” Cas laughs, trying to snatch the phone from Dean’s hand. Eventually, Dean can’t hold up both their weights, only being supported by an elbow, and Cas tumbles right onto Dean, face inches away from his.

They laugh, quiet, and Cas's cheeks are rosy and his eyes are bright, and he is so beautiful. Dean asks mindlessly, "Are you an angel or what?"

Cas cups Dean's face in his hands and kisses him in the grass as the sun sets behind them.


	8. He Looks Very Demonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW/ Vague mentions of abuse.

**[Dean's notebook]**

23.3.2008

I just came home from my date with Cas. Told Dad I was out with Kev and Jo.

Roadhouse was great, Ellen said the meal was on her. I think Jo took a photo of us but I don't care. Cas's dad was in the cinema we were in so I took him to watch the sunset at the park instead. He ~~looked~~ looks so beautiful. I should get the photo printed.

He kissed me. I'm still buzzing.

God, I ~~lo~~ like him so much.

* * *

**[March 24, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

_Crowley MacLeod added Belphegor Kline_

**[4:21 AM] Meg Masters:** i thought we were clear, no dumb bitches who look like angels

 **[4:22 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** [image of Belphegor]

 **[4:22 AM] Meg Masters:** ok i will make an exception bc he looks very demonic

 **[4:22 AM] Dean Winchester:** guess who kissed cas today

 **[4:22 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i don't know, but who kissed wings yesterday?

 **[4:22 AM] Dean Winchester:** man i hate y'all

 **[4:23 AM] Belphegor Kline:** i just joined and we’re already getting into the gritty huh

 **[4:23 AM] Meg Masters:** how did you ask him out in the first place

 **[4:23 AM] Dean Winchester:** when michael was driving us to school

 **[4:23 AM] Meg Masters:** pick a number between 1 and 10

 **[4:23 AM] Dean Winchester:** 4 because it’s my lucky number :)

 **[4:23 AM] Meg Masters:** good that’s your iq

 **[4:24 AM] Dean Winchester:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **[4:24 AM] Meg Masters:** who the fuck asks their crush out in front of their brother

 **[4:24 AM] Belphegor Kline:** apparently dean

 **[4:24 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** he's a massive dumbass. are we that surprised?

 **[4:25 AM] Dean Winchester:** man leave me alone  
**[4:25 AM] Dean Winchester:** anyway  
**[4:25 AM] Dean Winchester:** i got to kiss cas so who's winning

 **[4:25 AM] Meg Masters:** not clarence that's for sure

* * *

**[March 24, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** N2S

 **[11:32 AM] Gabriel Novak:** god i have the worst hangover

 **[11:32 AM] Michael Shurley:** I don't know when you intend to stop using the Lord's name in vain but it better be soon.

 **[11:32 AM] Gabriel Novak:** lighten up bro

 **[11:32 AM] Michael Shurley:** How was your date last night?

 **[11:33 AM] Gabriel Novak:** i have the worst story

 **[11:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** It can't have been that bad.

 **[11:34 AM] Gabriel Novak:** i got a ticket for parking where i shouldn’t and then turns out my date was the mf cop that gave me the ticket

 **[11:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** Only you would have had this happen to you.

 **[11:34 AM] Michael Shurley:** Somehow this doesn’t surprise me.

 **[11:34 AM] Gabriel Novak:** i hate that you guys type with proper punctuation  
**[11:34 AM] Gabriel Novak:** you sound so judgemental because of it

 **[11:35 AM] Michael Shurley:** The judgemental tone isn't because of the punctuation.

 **[11:35 AM] Gabriel Novak:** the way cas is biologically related to me but takes after you more hate it here  
**[11:35 AM] Gabriel Novak:** speaking of that lil devil  
**[11:35 AM] Gabriel Novak:** HOW WAS YOUR DATE?

 **[11:36 AM] Castiel Novak:** I kissed him.

 **[11:36 AM] Gabriel Novak:** I'M SO PROUD! MY BABY BRO!

 **[11:36 AM] Michael Shurley:** Why.

 **[11:36 AM] Gabriel Novak:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY?????

 **[11:37 AM] Castiel Novak:** Because I like him a lot...  
**[11:37 AM] Castiel Novak:** Don't even think about it, you already put the fear of God in him.

 **[11:37 AM] Michael Shurley:** He better remember it.

 **[11:37 AM] Gabriel Novak:** oh so cas can use the lord's name in vain but i can't!

 **[11:38 AM] Michael Shurley:** I like the kid better.

 **[11:38 AM] Gabriel Novak:** HATE IT HERE. I REALLY DO.

* * *

**[March 24, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[12:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** are you at lunch yet  
**[12:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** or did mr henriksen hold you guys back again

 **[12:05 PM] Castiel Novak:** On my way to the cafeteria.  
**[12:05 PM] Castiel Novak:** Why?

 **[12:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** kinda missed u and ur kisses

 **[12:05 PM] Castiel Novak:** We saw each other last night.

 **[12:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** your point?

 **[12:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** I can't wait to see you again.

* * *

**[March 24, 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[4:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** DEAN

 **[4:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** what bitch

 **[4:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** last night  
**[4:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** HOW DID IT GO

 **[4:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** you couldn't have just asked me irl? we ate breakfast and went to school together

 **[4:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** sorry if i'm not all hot about the idea of asking you about your date with michael's little brother in his car **  
[4:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** plus do you really want to see how dad would react to you going on a date w cas

 **[4:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** i could just tell him i meant cassie robinson from biology

 **[4:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** stfu  
**[4:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** TELL ME HOW IT WENT

 **[4:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** well first we did dinner at ellen's she said it was on the house

 **[4:44 PM] Sam Winchester:** i love ellen

 **[4:44 PM] Dean Winchester:** she's a godsend  
**[4:44 PM] Dean Winchester:** after that i took him to see an exorcism  
**[4:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** then a movie

 **[4:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** EXORCISM?

 **[4:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** he liked it he thought it was funny  
**[4:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** told me their exorcism spell was wrong and told me the correct one  
**[4:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** and i splashed holy water on him

 **[4:46 PM] Sam Winchester:** what the fuck is your problem i can't stand ur stupid ass

 **[4:46 PM] Dean Winchester:** i did say bc he was too good to be a regular human uk  
**[4:46 PM] Dean Winchester:** he thought it was cheesy but he liked it

 **[4:47 PM] Sam Winchester:** can't believe he liked that  
**[4:47 PM] Sam Winchester:** y'all really are perfect for each other

 **[4:47 PM] Dean Winchester:** his dad was at the same movie so we went to watch the sunset instead  
**[4:47 PM] Dean Winchester:** i took this photo of him  
**[4:47 PM] Dean Winchester:**

**[4:48 PM] Dean Winchester:** he's so pretty

 **[4:48 PM] Sam Winchester:** you're so GONE on him man i can't believe this

 **[4:48 PM] Dean Winchester:** kinda wanna spend the rest of my life w this angel <3

 **[4:49 PM] Sam Winchester:** your first date was yesterday

 **[4:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** so what

 **[4:49 PM] Sam Winchester:** hate to admit it but y'all cute or whatever

* * *

**[March 25, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[3:29 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i just saw dean and cas in their club shirts trying to avoid principal roman and it’s the funniest thing ever  
**[3:29 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** the club shirts have names at the back and the club name at the front  
**[3:30 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** when dick turned to look at them...

 **[3:30 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** dean went “when she turns we’ll turn around too”  
**[3:30 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** and cas goes OUR NAMES ARE ON THE BACK YOU DUMBASS

 **[3:30 PM] Jo Harvelle:** they're so stupid i'm going to cry

 **[3:33 PM] Dean Winchester:** yo shut y'all ass up  
**[3:33 PM] Dean Winchester:** my boyfriend is not stupid

 **[3:33 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** BOYFRIEND?

 **[3:33 PM] Kevin Tran:** I RAN HERE SO MF QUICK

 **[3:33 PM] Jo Harvelle:** WHEN DID  
**[3:33 PM] Jo Harvelle:** HUH

 **[3:34 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i've never been so caught off guard

 **[3:34 PM] Jo Harvelle:** MR WINCHESTER???

 **[3:34 PM] Kevin Tran:** america explain

 **[3:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** cas and i went on a date and now we're boyfriends there y'all all caught up now

 **[3:35 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ONLY TELLING ME NOW  
**[3:35 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** DID SAM KNOW?

 **[3:35 PM] Sam Winchester:** i styled him for the date actually stay pressed luv <3

 **[3:35 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** I HATE SAM

 **[3:36 PM] Sam Winchester:** </3

* * *

**[March 27, 2008]**

**Group Chat:** if i ain't get no pussy cos of y'all, y'all ain't get no pussy cos of me

 **[7:21 PM] Meg Masters:** i'm on my date rn  
**[7:21 PM] Meg Masters:** this boy is testing me

 **[7:21 PM] Belphegor Kline:** i thought you were a lesbian

 **[7:21 PM] Dean Winchester:** don't you mean american

 **[7:22 PM] Belphegor Kline:** someday when cas isn't here to protect you i'm gonna beat ur ass so hard 

**[7:22 PM] Meg Masters:** i am but sometimes i go on dates w boys just bc i'm bored and they're so stupid

 **[7:22 PM] Castiel Novak:** Well, how is it going?

 **[7:22 PM] Meg Masters:** he just left for the bathroom for the fifth time now

 **[7:22 PM] Bela Talbot:** he either has very concerning bathroom issues or he's got a side piece

 **[7:23 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** now how could you know that?

 **[7:23 PM] Bela Talbot:** you think i haven't done that before? aw precious x

 **[7:24 PM] Meg Masters:** waiter just told me he's on a date w another girl at the other end of the place rn too

 **[7:24 PM] Dean Winchester:** beat him until he begs for mercy

 **[7:24 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes.

 **[7:24 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** skin his dick and feed it to him.

 **[7:24 PM] Belphegor Kline:** omg stab his eyes out!

 **[7:25 PM] Bela Talbot:** you all have serious issues

 **[7:25 PM] Meg Masters:** i asked the waiter to take my food and follow me

 **[7:25 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** what are you doing?

 **[7:25 PM] Meg Masters:** stealing his date LMAOOO  
**[7:25 PM] Meg Masters:** she's pretty  
**[7:31 PM] Meg Masters:** texting from under the table we're on a date now

 **[7:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** You really...

 **[7:31 PM] Belphegor Kline:** QUEEN SHIT

* * *

**Group Chat:** god squad

 **[7:29 PM] Anael Jo:** so i'm on a date with this guy and he keeps leaving for the bathroom  
**[7:29 PM] Anael Jo:** then this girl came over and sat down, she just came and hijacked my date?

 **[7:30 PM] Castiel Novak:** Sigh.  
**[7:30 PM] Castiel Novak:** Meg.

 **[7:30 PM] Anael Jo:** you know her??

 **[7:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** Unfortunately.

 **[7:31 PM] Anael Jo:** she kinda hot tho

 **[7:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** I do not see it.

* * *

**[Dean's notebook]**

28.4.2008

Dad still doesn't know that I went on a date with Cas and I plan to keep it that way. I don't know what he'd think of me being bi but I'm not taking any chances. Dad gets extreme when he's drunk and he's rarely sober so I'm not risking getting kicked out. Bobby would take me in but I can't leave Sammy there on his own. I'd worry too much.

Dad does things sometimes when he's out of it. I made excuses for him the first couple times, but then Halloween night happened and it's never been the same.

Halloween. I took Sam out trick or treating when Dad ordered us to stay home. Let's just say I didn't need any makeup for my costume for the school's Halloween party the day after. Sam was so mad and he made us stay at Bobby's with Ellen and Jo until Dad came to pick us up and took us out for ice cream.

Don't think I've forgiven him for that, and all the times before that. Don't think I ever will.

But I'm bigger now. I know how to fight. If he tried anything, I'm not taking his shit.

Plus, Cas would worry.

I'll be ok.

I've got Cas, Sam, and the others. I'm good.

God, that was so dramatic. Stopping here.


	9. Threatening Auras

**[29 March 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[8:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** does michael like me

 **[8:49 AM] Castiel Novak:** What makes you think he doesn’t?

 **[8:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** every time i flirt with you he gives me that side-eye in the mirror

 **[8:50 AM] Castiel Novak:** Don't mind him, he's just being a big brother.  
**[8:50 AM] Castiel Novak:** An obnoxiously protective one, but a big brother.

 **[8:50 AM] Sam Winchester:** such a clown  
**[8:50 AM] Sam Winchester:** "does he like me" boy shut up

 **[8:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** BE QUIET

 **[8:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** idk how you haven't been suspended by roman yet w how much of a clown you are

 **[8:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** bc if i did get suspended, dad would kill me  
**[8:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** if i die you’re not invited to my funeral

 **[8:52 AM] Castiel Novak:** If?

 **[8:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** dying is only a possibility

 **[8:53 AM] Castiel Novak:** You...  
**[8:53 AM] Castiel Novak:** You exude this specific kind of energy...

 **[8:53 AM] Sam Winchester:** must be dumb bitch energy

 **[8:53 AM] Dean Winchester:** i didn't raise you to do me like this

 **[8:53 AM] Castiel Novak:** Alternatively, you have a very threatening aura.

* * *

**[30 March 2008]**

**Group Chat:** the peanut gallery (+ gabe)

 **Members:** Gabriel Novak, Castiel Novak, Michael Shurley, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[2:04 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i was made aware that dean thinks we don't like him  
**[2:04 PM] Gabriel Novak:** so i made this to show him that we like him

 **[2:04 PM] Michael Shurley:** I don't.

 **[2:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** group chats with threatening auras

 **[2:05 PM] Castiel Novak:** I said that first. **  
[2:05 PM] Castiel Novak:** And how dare you insinuate that I am part of the peanut gallery??

 **[2:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** omg yes cas ur absolutely right

_Dean Winchester changed the group chat name to 'cas protection squad'_

**[2:05 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i can do you one better deano

_Gabriel Novak changed the group chat name to 'the casvengers'_

**[2:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** i love it here

 **[2:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** This is so embarrassing.

* * *

**[1 April 2008]**

[Found in Cas's locker, with a rubber snake that falls out when the locker opens, scaring Cas]

GOTCHA!!!

D

* * *

[Found on Dean's locker, with all his textbooks piled against the locker door to fall out when it opens]

Gotcha. C

* * *

**[1 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[10:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** MY LOCKER  
**[10:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** THIS IS SO UNFAIRRRR

 **[10:29 AM] Castiel Novak:** You started it, clown.

 **[10:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** this is WAR

 **[10:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** :)  
**[10:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** Also don't do jumpscare ones anymore, please?

 **[10:30 AM] Dean Winchester:** not your type?

 **[10:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** I don't like them very much.  
**[10:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** Makes me feel awful.

 **[10:33 AM] Dean Winchester:** of course!! no more spooky stuff  
**[10:33 AM] Dean Winchester:** if i knew i wouldn't have put the snake  
**[10:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm sorry cas

 **[10:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's okay. At least you had fun. :)  
**[10:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** Hit me with your best shot.

* * *

**[1 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

 **[12:07 PM] Dean Winchester:** guys i need your help  
**[12:07 PM] Dean Winchester:** most demonic bitches i know

 **[12:07 PM] Belphegor Kline:** and PROUD of it

 **[12:07 PM] Meg Masters:** what do you want

 **[12:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** i declared a fuck war with cas

 **[12:08 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** and michael hasn't killed you yet?

 **[12:08 PM] Belphegor Kline:** a WHAT war

 **[12:08 PM] Meg Masters:** damn winchester i'm surprised you're still alive

 **[12:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** NO  
**[12:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** autocorrect  
**[12:08 PM] Dean Winchester:** we're having a fuck war  
**[12:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** STOP  
**[12:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** I WANT TO FUCK CAS SO BAD

 **[12:09 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** keep that in your pants.

 **[12:09 PM] Belphegor Kline:** i'm going to cry wtf is going on

 **[12:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** NOOOO SON OF A BITCHHHH

 **[12:10 PM] Meg Masters:** one date with clarence and deano's lost his mind

 **[12:10 PM] Dean Winchester:** I SWEAR THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY  
**[12:10 PM] Dean Winchester:** MY PHONE KEEPS CHANGING FUCK TO Don't challenge me to a prank war again. I CAN'T TAKE IT

 **[12:11 PM] Belphegor Kline:** bro what the fuck are you saying

**[12:11 PM] Dean Winchester:**

**[12:11 PM] Meg Masters:** clarence is a force to be reckoned with

 **[12:11 PM] Dean Winchester:** HOW DO YOU CHANGE IT BACK

 **[12:11 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** you got yourself into this. figure it out.

* * *

**[1 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** N2S

 **[3:02 PM] Castiel Novak:** Text replacement prank on Dean was a success.

 **[3:02 PM] Gabriel Novak:** he's never gonna trust u w his phone ever again

 **[3:02 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, it was a mistake on his part.  
**[3:02 PM] Castiel Novak:** But maybe on mine too.  
**[3:03 PM] Castiel Novak:** He just gave me a box of donuts.

 **[3:03 PM] Gabriel Novak:** isn't that nice  
**[3:03 PM] Gabriel Novak:** gimme it

 **[3:03 PM] Castiel Novak:** he left it with this note  
**[3:03 PM] Castiel Novak:**

**[3:03 PM] Gabriel Novak:** wtf could he do to those innocent donuts

 **[3:04 PM] Castiel Novak:** I don't know.  
**[3:04 PM] Castiel Novak:** I want to eat them though.

 **[3:04 PM] Gabriel Novak:** man idc if i die gimme those donuts i'll test them for you lil bro

 **[3:04 PM] Michael Shurley:** You're so stupid I can't take it

* * *

**[1 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Winchesters

 **Members:** John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[5:34 PM] John Winchester:** Where the hell is Dean?  
**[5:34 PM] John Winchester:** He should be home by now.

 **[5:34 PM] Sam Winchester:** he'll be home for dinner, he's just doing something.

 **[5:34 PM] John Winchester:** Better be home by 6 or he can buy dinner for himself.

 **[5:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** you didn't even give him money to buy food...

 **[5:39 PM] John Winchester:** Are you talking back to me?

 **[5:40 PM] Sam Winchester:** no, sir.  
**[5:40 PM] Sam Winchester:** sorry, sir.

* * *

**[1 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[5:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** i was gonna come over to pull one last prank for the night but my dad wants me home

 **[5:45 PM] Castiel Novak:** Aw. Sad.

**[5:45 PM] Dean Winchester:  
  
  
**

**[5:45 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, you.  
**[5:46 PM] Castiel Novak:** But my dad wouldn't want you to come over anyway since it's late.

 **[5:46 PM] Dean Winchester:** 6 isn't late

 **[5:46 PM] Castiel Novak:** Not to him.  
**[5:46 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'll see you at school, Dean.  
**[5:46 PM] Castiel Novak:** Is your father strict?

 **[5:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** kinda  
**[5:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll see you tomorrow cas

 **[5:49 PM] Castiel Novak:** See you. <3

 **[5:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** we won't be doing the fuck war anymore tomorrow right  
**[5:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** Don't challenge me to a prank war again.  
**[5:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** HOW DO I FIX IT?????

 **[5:50 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'll change it back for you tomorrow, D.

* * *

**[Dean's notebook]**

2.4.2008

Chevy, Clarence, and Bee are doing very well. Think Bee might be sick or something he's moving slower than usual. I'll check him out sometime. Maybe there's a snail expert in bio... Maybe Cassie knows a thing or two about snails.

I found out what kind of snails they were a while back but I never wrote them down. So Chevy's an ariants arbustorum, Clarence is a ramshorn and Bee is a roman snail (which live the longest which is pretty cool). Chevy's is a fucking mouthful.

Dad refused to give me dinner yesterday because I didn't come home before 6 (I was distracted texting Cas and missed the bus) so Crowley got me to sneak out my window and took me out to eat with his mom. I love Rowena, man. She's awesome. And Dad's dinner sounded like crap anyway, he just heated up leftover pizza from last night. Leftovers are good, don't get me wrong, but it could be better...

I can't wait for Dad to give me Baby. She's a fucking beauty. Deserves a way better driver than Dad.

Cas and I had a whole prank war, and thank whatever that pen can't be autocorrected. He fixed it today so that's good.

Are these entries even interesting? I'm just rambling. I mean, probably not all that much compared to people like Crowley or Meg. It's still something, right? Sam said I should try creative writing, which I guess is something like stories? A step up from what I'm doing. He said it might help. I don't know what he thinks I would need help with but maybe I'll wax poetic about Cas sometime and see.

Writing club's okay, on that note. The teacher, Pamela, she's really nice and she doesn't assign homework like other clubs do. She just lets us write whatever we want and show her our work if we want to.

Cas likes writing. I don't know what he writes, he never wants to show me, or anyone, but he enjoys it. It's cute. Maybe one day he'll show me.

I'll cut it short here. I've got this math homework to do and I wasn't paying attention. Cas told me he's calling in a couple minutes to tutor me through it, though.

I'm so glad I have him. Don't know what I'll do without him.


	10. The Usual Suspects

**[4 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** the casvengers

 **[6:02 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i want a bf so bad

 **[6:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** can he get a bf already jesus

 **[6:02 PM] Castiel Novak:** I think Jesus is a little too busy to be his boyfriend.

 **[6:03 PM] Sam Winchester:** I HATE IT HERE  
**[6:03 PM] Sam Winchester:** also never letting gabriel send me on blind dates ever again

 **[6:03 PM] Gabriel Novak:** WHY

 **[6:03 PM] Sam Winchester:** well i met her at the diner for our date and she didn’t say anything at all, she just ate and left  
**[6:04 PM] Sam Winchester:** after the date i checked my phone and the girl texted me that she couldn’t make it  
**[6:04 PM] Sam Winchester:** so who the FUCK did i eat with

 **[6:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** I CANT BREATHE

* * *

**[5 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[8:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** [image of the snails] **  
[8:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** they wanted to say good morning to their other dad <3

 **[8:05 AM] Castiel Novak:** Our kids are adorable.  
**[8:06 AM] Castiel Novak:** Can't believe you have sole custody.

 **[8:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** maybe you should have kept them if you wanted to co-parent  
**[8:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** this is on YOU!

 **[8:06 AM] Castiel Novak:** Touché.  
**[8:07 AM] Castiel Novak:** Can I visit them someday?

 **[8:07 AM] Dean Winchester:** idk my dad's really strict :(

 **[8:07 AM] Castiel Novak:** Oh.  
**[8:07 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's alright if it's too much hassle.

 **[8:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'll find a day when he's not home and i'll bring you over?

 **[8:08 AM] Castiel Novak:** I don't want to get you in trouble with your dad.

 **[8:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** you won't babe don't worry

 **[8:09 AM] Castiel Novak:** Babe, huh?

 **[8:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** :)  
**[8:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** see you in 40  
**[8:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** michael IS coming right

 **[8:10 AM] Castiel Novak:** Of course he is, he'd never let you be late to school.  
**[8:10 AM] Castiel Novak:** I think Michael thinks of you and Sam like little brothers.  
**[8:10 AM] Castiel Novak:** He doesn't show it but he does care about you two.

 **[8:10 AM] Dean Winchester:** are you saying michael approves of me

 **[8:11 AM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, Dean, he would love for you to have my hand in marriage.

 **[8:11 AM] Dean Winchester:** parents love me

 **[8:11 AM] Castiel Novak:** Only that Michael isn't my dad.

 **[8:11 AM] Dean Winchester:** isn't he though

 **[8:12 AM] Castiel Novak:**...  
**[8:12 AM] Castiel Novak:** Huh.  
**[8:12 AM] Castiel Novak:** Be quiet. Go get ready for school.

 **[8:12 AM] Dean Winchester:** see you later angel

* * *

**[5 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** John Winchester, Dean Winchester

 **[2:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** dad, can i bring a friend over sometime?

 **[2:38 PM] John Winchester:** What friend?

 **[2:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** his name is castiel.

 **[2:39 PM] John Winchester:** I've never heard of him.

 **[2:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** you can ask sam, he's a good guy.

 **[2:39 PM] John Winchester:** No.

 **[2:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** fine.  
**[2:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** are you taking us out for dinner tonight?

 **[2:42 PM] John Winchester:** I have work to do tonight. Will leave money on the table for you two to get dinner. Won't be home till past midnight.

 **[2:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** okay. i'll let sam know.

* * *

**[5 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[2:56 PM] Dean Winchester:** you can come over tonight and say hi to the kids **  
[2:56 PM] Dean Winchester:** my dad won't be home until midnight so we have the whole evening

 **[2:56 PM] Castiel Novak:** Are you sure that's a good idea? He won't know?

 **[2:57 PM] Dean Winchester:** nah, you, me, sammy, we'll order in some pizza, put on a movie and michael could come pick you up before 9 at the latest

 **[2:57 PM] Castiel Novak:** Sounds good to me. Text me the address and let me know when I can come over.

 **[2:57 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll call you when he's about to leave

**[6:41 PM]** _Incoming call from Dean Winchester_

* * *

Michael follows Cas up to the Winchesters' doorway, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he lights a cigarette. Michael doesn't smoke often, only every once in a while when he feels like it, and only if he knows Chuck won't know. Cas comments, ringing the doorbell, "I wish you wouldn't smoke."

"It's not like it's a habit. It's purely recreational," Michael defends. He knows it's not a good reason, but Cas knows nobody can make Michael do anything he doesn't want to. "The doorbell's broken. Knock."

Cas knocks on the door and Sam opens it, smiling, "Hey, Cas. Come in." He looks up and sees Michael, adding hesitantly, "Do you want to come in?"

"No," Michael says simply as Dean walks over. "I'll be back by 9."

"Okay, Michael," Sam says, and it reminds Dean of the way Sam talks to him. Maybe there's some truth to what Cas said about Michael being almost like an older brother to them too. He has a steady feel to him that John lost since Mary died. "See you later."

"Have fun," Michael nods, giving Cas a side-hug before putting out the cigarette under his shoe, walking back to the car.

When they close the door behind them, Dean instantly leads Cas over to the small tank in his room. It's obviously pretty cheap as it is small, and Dean points out each snail as he says, "Clarence, Chevy, and Bee, your other dad is here."

"You're so cute," Cas grins widely, looking at the three snails moving slowly. "Well, Dean too, but."

"You're about to lose the co-parent contract," Dean jokes, sitting on the bed as Cas carefully takes Chevy out of the tank to hold.

Cas asks, "Does your father know about them?"

"Nah, Crowley helped sneak this tank in through the window," Dean says, nodding over to his window. "He wanted to get a bigger tank but I told him not to spend the cash."

"I like Crowley's mom," Cas says offhandedly. "She reminds me a little bit of mine."

Dean smiles softly at that, "I'm sure you're a nice change from her demonic son."

Cas huffs a quiet laugh and runs a finger over the curve of Chevy's shell. "Do you think I can see your car sometime?"

Dean frowns in though, “Dad has it tonight but I’ll see if I can take her for a spin.”

Before Cas can say anything, Sam excitedly bounds into Dean's doorway then, saying, "Pizza's here, come on!"

They only got two large ones of the safest kind of pizza -- cheese. Dean says, "I hope you're not allergic or this would be very embarrassing, but I can cook you something --"

"I love cheese," Cas assures, and there's a gentle smile. "You can cook?"

"Dean's cooking is awesome," Sam says, gesturing as he speaks. "One time Dad forgot it was my birthday and Dean didn't have time to go buy a proper cake so he made one and it was amazing. I mean, I know it's technically baking, but still."

 _Sam is ridiculously young_ , Dean and Cas realize, even though he's just a year younger than them. Standing as tall as he is at 16 -- It's stupid that Sam's almost taller than he is -- Dean thinks that John is such an ass, because he shouldn't have been forgetting his son's birthdays, and Dean shouldn't have had to pick up the slack, and --

Cas nods along. He smiles, familiar and homely, even though they haven't been boyfriends for even a month. It should have been ridiculous that Dean feels like this for someone he hasn't known for that long, just a little over four months, but he does, and he feels great for the first time in his life. Just him, Sam, and Cas here. Sam picking a movie that he loves that Dean probably hates with all his amusing kiddish self-serving, Cas putting slices of pizza onto paper plates to give out, and Dean making room for them to sit in front of the TV. Dean feels.

Sam chooses to watch _The Usual Suspects_. Dean does like this one, actually -- it's clever and Dean loves the acting. He thinks, in another life, he could have been an actor. When he was younger and John took him out after he got a perfect score on a test, he'd been asked if he wanted to be a kid actor, a small one-episode role in a TV show that hasn't aired yet. Dean had been pretty buzzed about the idea but John told the guy to leave them alone and that Dean wasn't interested. Dean was 8, so he didn't argue.

"I love this movie," Dean smiles, sitting down with his plate of pizza, next to Cas on the couch. Sam chooses to sit on the floor, insisting that he gets a better view of the TV from there.

"I've never seen it," Cas shrugs. "I think Michael and Dad have, but Gabriel and I haven't."

Sam snaps his head back, eyes wide, "You've never seen it?"

"Do you want me to answer again?"

Dean laughs and puts an arm around Cas's shoulders, balancing the plate on his lap. "You're in for a ride, honeybee."

Cas makes all sorts of observations as the movie plays and it entertains the brothers, until around halfway through when Cas suddenly gasps and turns to Dean, asking, "Is Keyser Soze Kevin Spacey?"

"What the _fuck_ ," Dean marvels as Sam pauses the movie, gaping. " _How_ could you have figured that out?"

"Well, Verbal was the only one who wasn't shown getting arrested at the start, so he let himself get arrested to tell all this," Cas says slowly like he's thinking about it even then. "And his name is 'Verbal' because he talks too much, and he's got a Turkish mom, German dad..." Cas takes out his phone and does a quick search before nodding to himself. "In a mix of that, could somewhat mean King Blabbermouth."

"That second one's ridiculous," Sam says through a mouthful of pizza.

Cas grins, "If you want something less ridiculous... When Verbal fell to the ground, he said 'I did kill Keaton'."

"Awful. Just awful," Dean shakes his head, leaning over to kiss Cas on the cheek before going to get himself one of the last slices of pizza. It's almost 8 by then. "Who wants the last two?"

"Me," Sam holds up his plate and Dean drops one of them on it, taking a huge bite out of the other. Sam pouts and Cas laughs, and it really is right. They end up deciding to do karaoke for the last hour, unable to think of anything else fun to fill the time until Michael comes to pick Cas up. It kicks off with a very unharmonious cover of _Bohemian Rhapsody_ where none of them are able to find their footing in the song and they end up a laughing mess. Dean follows up with _Eye Of The Tiger_ , doing ridiculous dances to it and when he stands on the couch, arms spread with a wide grin on his face, Cas and Sam applaud him.

Half an hour into it, Sam insists they do serious covers because he really wants to know if Cas can actually sing or not, and it leads to the discovery that Cas is a choir boy at church.

"Then why the hell were you butchering _Bohemian Rhapsody_ like that?" Sam asks, appalled, and Dean lightly smacks the back of Sam's head with a stupid smile, because the fact that Cas is a choir boy is so fucking cute to him.

"Because we weren't being serious!" Cas defends.

"Sing something from the choir," Dean requests, collapsing into the couch next to Sam. "Please?"

Cas shakes his head, "It'll sound awful if it's just one person. It's _choir_ music for a reason."

"Honeybee, you really can't do anything wrong," Dean smiles. "For me?"

"Okay," Cas relents, clearing his throat and taking a sip of water. "This is called [_When The Earth Stands Still_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4jYOf0uBDQ)." Sam laughs in anticipation, making himself comfortable, and Cas starts singing. " _Come listen in the silence of the moment before rain comes down... There's a deep sigh in the quiet of the forest and the tall tree's crown._ "

Sam instantly relaxes into Cas's soft tones, and in the small living room, Cas's voice fills every empty space. He's sure Cas would sound even better in a cathedral, but this really feels so peaceful. Cas continues, " _Now, hold me. Will you take the time to hold me and embrace the chill? Or miss me, will you take the time to miss me when the earth stands still?_ "

" _'Cause there's no use running, 'cause the storm's still coming, and you've been running for too many years_ ," Cas sings. He sounds _angelic_. Dean would have thought maybe he was biased, but Sam is quiet and at peace next to him, and he properly thinks Cas might actually be an angel. Because with all his childish light-heartedness, Sam and Dean have never had a moment with a quiet mind, but here they are. " _Come listen in the silence of the moment before the shadows fall. Feel the tremor of your heartbeat matching heartbeat as we both dissolve._ "

Cas might have skipped over a verse just to keep it short, but the transition is smooth enough as he jumps right into the last verse, " _So stay with me, held in my arms, like branches of a tree. They'll shelter you for many years._ "

"Aw, man. Over already?" Dean instantly jokes and Cas breaks into a smile, laughing as if he didn't just get hyper puppy Sam Winchester to settle down with his voice. He can't help it -- Dean walks over and presses a kiss to Cas's lips until Sam tells them to get a room as he goes to put Céline Dion's _My Heart Will Go On_ just to make them cringe.

There's a knock on the door a little after that and Cas packs up his things, waves goodbye to the Winchester-Novak snails, hugs Sam, and kisses Dean goodnight. It's Gabriel at the door instead of Michael and he takes the lollipop out of his mouth to greet Dean. "Hey, Dean-o. Have a good time, Cas?"

"Yeah, thanks for having me over, Dean," Cas smiles.

"Don't be so formal," Dean smiles, soft. "See you at school tomorrow." Gabriel gestures for Cas to go in the car first and Cas obeys.

Once the door shuts with Cas in the car, Gabriel says to Dean, "Be careful with the kid, okay?"

Dean's smile becomes amused and confused. "I thought we already had the big bro talk. Twice, actually."

Gabriel looks uncharacteristically serious for once when he says, "I know, this isn't a big bro talk. This is a..." He trails off, waving the lollipop in his hands as he finds the words. "Cas is... a fragile kid. Do your best, okay?"

"I will," Dean says. When Gabriel still looks unconvinced, Dean assures, "Gabe, man. I like him a lot. I won't hurt him, promise."

"Alright," Gabriel finally relents. "Don't stay up too late. School night and all." He pulls out his wallet and hands a $50 bill over. "Michael asked me to pass this to you. He said lunch and dinner for tomorrow."

Dean stares at it a little hesitantly, "Michael doesn't need to do this..."

"He worries," Gabriel rolls his eyes. "Take it." Dean finally takes it and Gabriel says goodbye, driving away with Cas.

* * *

**[7 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[10:39 AM] Sam Winchester:** why is kevin crying over a photo of a chicken wearing a hat

 **[10:39 AM] Kevin Tran:** shut the fuck up  
**[10:40 AM] Kevin Tran:**

**[10:40 AM] Kevin Tran:** YOU'D CRY TOO

 **[10:40 AM] Sam Winchester:** why am i crying over a photo of a chicken wearing a hat

 **[10:40 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** THAT'S SO FUCKING CUTE I'M GONNA CRY

 **[10:40 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** when i get my own farm i'm gonna make all the chickens wear hats

 **[10:41 AM] Jo Harvelle:** chickens should wear hats as a rule

 **[10:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** Agreed.

_Dean Winchester is typing..._

**[10:41 AM] Jo Harvelle:** dean is typing quick go offline

 **[10:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** WHAT THE FUCK  
**[10:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** wait  
**[10:42 AM] Castiel's Boyfriend:** how about now

 **[10:42 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** MY RIGHTS MY MF RIGHTS

 **[10:42 AM] Kevin Tran:** i knew i was gonna cry today

 **[10:42 AM] Sam Winchester:** you were already crying

 **[10:43 AM] Kevin Tran:** man stfu

 **[10:43 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean...  
**[10:43 AM] Dean's Boyfriend:** Now can we change them back?

 **[10:44 AM] Castiel's Boyfriend:** i kinda like it here :)

 **[10:44 AM] Dean's Boyfriend:** Insufferable.

 **[10:44 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** MARRIED.


	11. Don't Ever Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW/ Mention of abuse in Dean's notebook and the call between Dean and Cas.

**[Dean's notebook]**

8.4.2008

I heard that love starts with trust.

I don't really know how to trust anyone? I mean, I know I trust Sammy with my life. I trust Cas with everything I got. I trust Bobby and Ellen and Jo. I trust Charlie. Kevin, Garth. Crowley, even. Rowena? Meg, Bela?

Do you see how the line started to blur there? Can you even tell who I trust and who I don't? When does the line between circumstantial reliance and unconditional trust begin to blend? Where is it defined? Do _you_ know who you trust and who you don't?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Oh boy.

It's Tuesday night, and I have History with Cas tomorrow. I know he's awake right now -- Cas has a hard time falling asleep (not insomnia or stress, Cas just doesn't tend to sleep early), and he likes to do puzzles or read until he's tired. Ever since we started dating, he's taken to texting me instead. Right now, he's texting me about last week's Sunday choir. They sang this song and Gabe cried, which was very funny to Cas (and me).

I guess I'm just thinking if I should tell Cas about Dad.

I know we haven't been dating for a long time, and we've only known each other for about 4 months, but damn if I don't want to trust him because I do. I know I do.

Dad's fucked me up royally, man. They always say your parents are the ones who you trust the most, and who love you the most. I think my dad loves me, but he doesn't like me. If you're confused, let me tell you that there's a difference. It doesn't make it any better. I still don't like my dad. Nothing will ever make it better again between us. To think I used to be so idealistic about it, you know... I thought it was just a phase.

All that was a very long-winded way of saying that Dad hit me again last night.

I was working on the car outside, keeping her going. Accidentally tracked grease on the carpet and Dad was drunk. Small mark but Bela has makeup and she promised to meet me early tomorrow to cover it up for me.

I know Cas is gonna get worried. I think I'll just have to trust that he'll be nice about it. I know this kind of thing isn't for everyone like some people get scared off. Lee did, hasn't spoken to me since seventh grade. I think Cas will be different, though.

That's where love begins right? With a little trust.

* * *

**[9 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[1:08 AM] Castiel Novak:** Will you tell me now?

 **[1:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** can you do it over the phone?

 **[1:08 AM] Castiel Novak:** Of course.  
**[1:08 AM] Castiel Novak:** Are you okay?

 **[1:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** yeah just call me

**[1:09 AM]** _Incoming call from Castiel Novak_

* * *

"Dean," Cas says once Dean picks up. "Why did Bela put makeup on you this morning?"

"What, can't a guy doll up a little?" Dean jokes, but it comes out strained and obviously just to delay what he wants to say. Cas sighs, the sound tinny from the other end of the phone, but comforting all the same.

"Of course boys can wear makeup... but it's not like you're the type or you'd be wearing makeup as often as you could. I know you, you'd go big or go home," Cas replies. "What happened?"

Dean starts to regret doing this on a call instead of text. He tries, "You know what, I'm beat, man. I'll talk to you tomorrow --"

"Dean, baby," Cas says gently. "You can trust me. I'm here."

Dean breaks then. He tells Cas about what happened two nights ago, and he tells him about every time before that, and he talks about his feelings because once you drop the glass, the water starts to spill. Cas listens intently and though he remains silent, Dean just knows he's listening to every word, and he keeps talking until his mouth is dry and his eyes are tired.

When he's done, he finally realizes he'd gone from standing at the window to lying on his bed with dried tear tracks on his cheeks. He hates getting this emotional around anyone, even if Cas isn't physically there. Romancing, Dean will gladly be emotional, but this depressing shit? Dean keeps it bottled up because all it's done for him is scare people away.

But Cas's breath is quiet on the other end of the phone, and when he speaks, he says, "Dean, you are so strong. Do you know that?" Dean sniffs in reply, and Cas continues, "And you don't deserve any of this, you truly don't. Have you thought about reporting your father --"

"No," Dean cuts over, sitting up. "I'm not gonna turn in my dad."

"Okay," Cas says, making it clear he won't argue. "What would your father say about sleepovers?"

"Sleepovers?"

"If you think things are bad... If your dad is going to be drunk out of his mind. If you don't feel safe," Cas clarifies. "You can call me, and Michael can always drive you over to our place. I don't think my dad would mind if we explained. You and Sam could stay over if you don't feel safe."

Dean nods and then quickly says, once he remembers Cas can't see him over the phone, "Yeah, sure. Thanks, Cas."

Cas continues talking, "It's no problem. We could even come up with a code for it if you don't feel like you can talk about this in text. Or you can just invite me over, or have me come up with an excuse to visit you. I doubt he would do anything to you with a witness around. I'll do anything you need me to, just ask me and I will."

It comes tumbling out of Dean's lips before he can catch it. "God, I love you."

It goes silent on Cas's end and that's when Dean realizes what he's said. He starts trying to take it back, "I mean -- I love that you would do all this for me and Sam, I don't -- I mean, it's been a month, but --"

"Dean," Cas huffs a laugh, a soft and affectionate thing. "I love you too."

"Are we being crazy?" Dean asks, feeling his heart beating in his chest. It's a different kind of adrenaline than he'd been used to. That adrenaline is like defusing a time bomb. This one tastes sweet and is fizzy in his chest.

Cas replies, a smile clear in his voice, "I don't know, but I like it."

* * *

**[10 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[9:34 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** why is zachariah such a bitch

 **[9:34 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** what did he do this time

 **[9:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** he thinks i’m not good enough for cas  
**[9:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** i have elected to beat him

 **[9:35 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean, no.

 **[9:35 AM] Sam Winchester:** don’t beat him

 **[9:35 AM] Jo Harvelle:** beat him

 **[9:35 AM] Kevin Tran:** first of all that is not what we’re going to encourage

 **[9:36 AM] Dean Winchester:** see jo this is why you’re my sister

 **[9:36 AM] Jo Harvelle:** why couldn’t we have been related  
**[9:36 AM] Jo Harvelle:** ANYWAY BEAT ZACHARIAH’S ASS

 **[9:40 AM] Dean Winchester:** LMAO WE’RE GOING TO DETENTION

 **[9:40 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** what the fuck why

 **[9:40 AM] Kevin Tran:** WHAT DID YOU DO???

 **[9:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** a certain face tried to kiss my fist really hard

* * *

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[9:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean.  
**[9:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** What if your father finds out about this detention?

 **[9:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** baby relax i'll just tell him i was out with kev he likes kev  
**[9:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'll tell him i'm mixing with the smart kids

 **[9:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean, I'm being serious.

 **[9:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** what makes you think i'm not?

 **[9:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** Don't flirt with me right now.

 **[9:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** it'll be fine, baby. really.  
**[9:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** trust me  
**[9:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** if he doesn't like it, i'll text michael. okay?

 **[9:43 AM] Castiel Novak:** Alright.

 **[9:44 AM] Dean Winchester:** okay  
**[9:44 AM] Dean Winchester:** call you later, charlie and i need to go

 **[9:44 AM] Castiel Novak:** Don't cause more trouble in the detention room.

 **[9:44 AM] Dean Winchester:** okay honeybee i promise

* * *

**[10 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i ain’t get no pussy cos of y’all, y’all ain’t get no pussy cos of me

 **[3:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm back from hell bay bee  
**[3:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** gonna be on the bus home soon

 **[3:09 PM] Meg Masters:** why would you go back to hell after leaving

 **[3:09 PM] Dean Winchester:** we're demons ha ha so funny meg

 **[3:10 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** 3's early for detention.

 **[3:10 PM] Dean Winchester:** i got out on good behaviour  
**[3:10 PM] Dean Winchester:** everyone makes way for the king

 **[3:10 PM] Castiel Novak:** Sighs LOUDLY.

 **[3:11 PM] Belphegor Kline:** omg bel2 are hanging out at the park do you wanna join us

 **[3:11 PM] Meg Masters:** what the fuck is bel2

 **[3:11 PM] Belphegor Kline:** BELa and BELphegor = BEL2

 **[3:12 PM] Bela Talbot:** i regret giving him permission to name this duo

 **[3:12 PM] Castiel Novak:** Bel2 is the worst thing I have ever seen.

 **[3:12 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i doubt that. you've seen dean.

 **[3:12 PM] Dean Winchester:** WHY DO Y'ALL BULLY ME LIKE THIS  
**[3:13 PM] Dean Winchester:** but NOTHING for cas. NOTHING

 **[3:13 PM] Bela Talbot:** because cassie is an angel and we are thrilled to have him here

 **[3:13 PM] Dean Winchester:** you're right i love him <3

 **[3:13 PM] Castiel Novak:** You're so cheesy.  
**[3:13 PM] Castiel Novak:** I love you too.

 **[3:14 PM] Belphegor Kline:** i feel like the world's biggest slap in the face just missed me by inches  
**[3:14 PM] Belphegor Kline:** what did i just witness

 **[3:14 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** i believe that was a marriage ceremony.

* * *

**[11 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Crowley MacLeod, Castiel Novak

 **[9:29 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** have you told him yet?

 **[9:29 AM] Castiel Novak:** No.  
**[9:29 AM] Castiel Novak:** And he doesn't need to know. Not yet.

 **[9:30 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** you know you'll have to tell him. you can't keep it quiet forever.

 **[9:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** I know.  
**[9:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** I just need the right time.

 **[9:30 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** what does michael think?

 **[9:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** He thinks keeping it secret for now is best.  
**[9:31 AM] Castiel Novak:** To wait for the best time.

 **[9:31 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** and what constitutes as the best time, pray tell?  
**[9:31 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** when you know what will happen to you?

 **[9:31 AM] Castiel Novak:** I just want time, Crowley.  
**[9:31 AM] Castiel Novak:** Nobody tells him except me.

 **[9:32 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** alright, alright. i'll respect your choice.  
**[9:32 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** are we still meeting after school?

 **[9:32 AM] Castiel Novak:** Yes. I want to buy Dean a new notebook.

 **[9:32 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** quite the ambitious writer, isn't he?

 **[9:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** I think it's a kind of... catharsis, for him. I like that he's found a hobby in writing.

 **[9:33 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** will it help him?

 **[9:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** I thought we were moving on from that.

 **[9:33 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** of course.  
**[9:34 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** aren't you writing in a book of your own? what are you writing?

 **[9:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** A diary.

 **[9:34 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** every day or weekly?

 **[9:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** Whenever the time is right.

* * *

**[12 April 2008]**

[Found in the notebook Cas bought for Dean]

Hello Dean,

I saw that your first one was running out of pages so I got you another notebook. :)

I love you and I hope you smile when you see this. You’re my favorite person in the whole world and I don’t know what I would do without you.

Thank you for being you.

Don’t ever change, no matter where we go.

Love,  
Cas


	12. What's in Illinois?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mention of Adamichael and I'll be real with you, Adam won't appear ever because I'm using Jake Abel as Michael in this fic, so Adam is free to your imagination.

**[14 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[12:25 AM] Dean Winchester** : hi angel

 **[12:25 AM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, you heathen?

 **[12:25 AM] Dean Winchester:** i call you an angel and you call me a HEATHEN hate it here

 **[12:26 AM] Castiel Novak:** You're literally in a group chat called Demon Clique with Meg, Bel, and Crowley.

 **[12:26 AM] Dean Winchester:** eh you're right  
 **[12:26 AM] Dean Winchester:** why are you up

 **[12:26 AM] Castiel Novak:** I could ask you the same thing.

 **[12:26 AM] Dean Winchester:** i asked you first

 **[12:27 AM] Castiel Novak:** Thinking about some things.  
 **[12:27 AM] Castiel Novak:** And now I can't sleep.

 **[12:27 AM] Dean Winchester:** sam says talking always does the trick  
 **[12:27 AM] Dean Winchester:** come on lay it on me

 **[12:28 AM] Castiel Novak:** Don't go wasting your emotion...  
 **[12:28 AM] Castiel Novak:** Lay all your love on me...

 **[12:28 AM] Dean Winchester:** don't abba me

 **[12:29 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'll tell you tomorrow.  
 **[12:29 AM] Castiel Novak:** Go to sleep.

 **[12:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** my love for you never sleeps

 **[12:29 AM] Castiel Novak:** Goodnight.

 **[12:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** RUDE  
 **[12:29 AM] Dean Winchester:** goodnight

 **[1:31 AM] Castiel Novak:** I love you too.

* * *

**[15 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[8:03 AM] Charlie Bradbury** : rise and shine gays and non-gays

 **[8:03 AM] Garth Fitzgerald** : why did you even add me to this gc

 **[8:04 AM] Charlie Bradbury** : bc ur cute and we love u  
 **[8:04 AM] Charlie Bradbury** : anyway dorothy and i have a date today <3

 **[8:04 AM] Kevin Tran** : when will you marry her

 **[8:04 AM] Charlie Bradbury** : legalise gay marriage and maybe i'll do it

 **[8:05 AM] Dean Winchester** : imagine abiding by the law

 **[8:05 AM] Jo Harvelle** : fuck the police

 **[8:05 AM] Castiel Novak** : For the last time, do not fornicate with the legal authorities.  
 **[8:05 AM] Castiel Novak** : But I am happy that you're going on another date with her.  
 **[8:06 AM] Castiel Novak** : I like her.

 **[8:06 AM] Dean Winchester** : :O

 **[8:06 AM] Castiel Novak** : Dean I am gay

* * *

**[15 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[8:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** does michael have a gf

 **[8:51 AM] Castiel Novak** : Dean...

 **[8:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** why are you jumping to conclusions

 **[8:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** you're right  
 **[8:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** does michael have a bf

 **[8:51 AM] Castiel Novak** : Can't take it

 **[8:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm gonna ask him

 **[8:52 AM] Sam Winchester** : DEAN

* * *

Dean looks up from his phone right into the rearview mirror at Michael and asks, "Are you dating anyone?"

Cas rolls his eyes, "Dean, why?"

Michael huffs a sigh as he makes a left. "I have a boyfriend."

A shit-eating grin grows on Dean's face and Cas looks at Michael in surprise, "You finally admitted it. It's Adam, isn't it?"

"What, you mean I'm the first person you told, really?" Dean asks, giving Cas a smug smile. Cas reaches a hand back to playfully smack Dean, but Dean dodges in time.

Michael pulls up outside the school, saying, "Because Adam wants to introduce me to his mother so I probably have to return the favor soon. Now get out of here." Sam waves goodbye and gets out of the car while Michael gives Cas a pat on his shoulder before letting him go. Dean says bye and leaves, joining Sam and Cas on the pavement.

"Who's Adam?" Dean asks.

"His college dorm-mate. They'll probably get an apartment together when they graduate," Cas answers.

Sam asks, innocently enough with an undertone of suggestiveness, "After you guys graduate from college, would you get an apartment together?"

Dean beams at Cas, interlocking their fingers, "Sounds like a plan."

Cas smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

* * *

**[15 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[10:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** ok tell me now  
 **[10:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** what's wrong honeybee

 **[10:29 PM] Castiel Novak:** I worry that I won't be a good enough boyfriend for you.

 **[10:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** what???  
 **[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** dude you're an AWESOME boyfriend  
 **[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** you've been so great about the whole dad thing  
 **[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** i love going on dates with you  
 **[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** plus you're big romantic  
 **[10:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** and you gave me cute snails  
 **[10:31 PM] Dean Winchester:** bonus sam likes you loads

 **[10:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** Well, yes, but...  
 **[10:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** Life is complicated sometimes.  
 **[10:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** Things happen. Plans get screwed up.

 **[10:32 PM] Dean Winchester:** plans don't always fall through and that's what improvisation is for  
 **[10:32 PM] Dean Winchester:** come on believe me you're a great boyfriend  
 **[10:32 PM] Dean Winchester:** i have experience IM DATING YOU

 **[10:32 PM] Castiel Novak:** I don't know...  
 **[10:33 PM] Castiel Novak:** Sometimes, I just feel like God's story for me has been set up to fail, or the ending is always changing. I don't know what to do.

 **[10:33 PM] Dean Winchester:** babe, hey  
 **[10:33 PM] Dean Winchester:** it's okay not to know everything  
 **[10:33 PM] Dean Winchester:** we'll make it up as we go

 **[10:33 PM] Castiel Novak:** Do you really think we can do that?

 **[10:34 PM] Dean Winchester:** look, cas  
 **[10:34 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm all in  
 **[10:34 PM] Dean Winchester:** no matter what happens, i'm all in  
 **[10:34 PM] Dean Winchester:** if i gotta write a whole damn story to let you know how much i love you then i will

 **[10:34 PM] Castiel Novak:** I love you. I really do.

 **[10:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** i love you too cas  
 **[10:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** things will be better in the morning, get some sleep

 **[10:35 PM] Castiel Novak:** You too.  
 **[10:35 PM] Castiel Novak:** Don't sleep too late.

 **[10:35 PM] Dean Winchester:** goodnight, angel

 **[10:35 PM] Castiel Novak:** Goodnight.

* * *

**[19 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[7:49 PM] Castiel Novak:** We can't give you and Sam a ride to school tomorrow.

 **[7:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** thanks for the heads up  
 **[7:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** why?

 **[7:49 PM] Castiel Novak:** Doctor's appointment.

 **[7:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** are you sick??  
 **[7:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** should i come over tomorrow  
 **[7:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** ellen has this soup she makes for me and sammy if we're sick i could ask her to make some for you

 **[7:50 PM] Castiel Novak:** It's okay, Dean. But thank you.  
 **[7:50 PM] Castiel Novak:** It's nothing big. I'll be back at school the day after.

 **[7:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll miss you until then

 **[7:51 PM] Castiel Novak:** Me too. <3

* * *

**[21 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** i ain’t get no pussy cos of y’all, y’all ain’t get no pussy cos of me

 **[3:20 PM] Bela Talbot:** why doesn't sam ever text here?

 **[3:20 PM] Dean Winchester:** he muted us

 **[3:20 PM] Meg Masters:** what the fuck

 **[3:20 PM] Bela Talbot:** his loss  
 **[3:21 PM] Bela Talbot:** meg we should go out today  
 **[3:21 PM] Bela Talbot:** you bring anael and i'll bring that girl  
 **[3:21 PM] Bela Talbot:** ruby

 **[3:21 PM] Meg Masters:** let's do it  
 **[3:21 PM] Meg Masters:** X NO X MEN X ALLOWED X

 **[3:22 PM] Dean Winchester:** it's ok i wouldn't want men around either  
 **[3:22 PM] Dean Winchester:** have fun

 **[8:59 PM] Bela Talbot:** the way anael and ruby decided they liked each other more

 **[9:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** THEY WHAT

 **[9:00 PM] Meg Masters:** they're dating now

 **[9:00 PM] Castiel Novak:** They what.

 **[9:01 PM] Meg Masters:** oh and bela and i are dating now

 **[9:01 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** you what.

 **[9:01 PM] Bela Talbot:** lesbian lifestyle treats me well

 **[9:02 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** we left you alone for six hours.

* * *

**[22 April 2008]**

[Passed to Dean while studying in the library]

Are you craving McDonalds?

* * *

[Passed back to Cas]

Are you craving McDonalds?

_Let's go get some cheeseburgers_

* * *

**[22 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Winchesters

 **[7:39 PM] John Winchester:** Dean, where are you?

 **[7:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** studying with a friend. i'm on my way home already.

 **[7:39 PM] John Winchester:** Who said you could stay out today?

 **[7:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** dad i am studying with a straight a kid so i won't fail.  
 **[7:43 PM] Dean Winchester:** if you have such a problem with it then i can just fail all my exams.

 **[7:45 PM] John Winchester:** Are you talking back to me?

 **[7:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** just telling the truth.

* * *

**[22 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[7:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** go to bobby's

 **[7:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** i just snuck out the window  
 **[7:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** will i see you there?

 **[7:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm going to cas's. get a ride to school tomorrow with jo

 **[7:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** okay  
 **[7:46 PM] Sam Winchester:** see you tomorrow dean

 **[7:46 PM] Dean Winchester:** see ya kid

* * *

**[22 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[7:47 PM] Dean Winchester:** can i come over?

 **[7:47 PM] Castiel Novak:** It's almost 8, Dean.

 **[7:47 PM] Dean Winchester:** it's not a good night

 **[7:47 PM] Castiel Novak:** Oh.  
 **[7:52 PM] Castiel Novak:** Michael's on his way back from a date so he can pick you up. Where will you meet him?

 **[7:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** can he get me from the cajun cafe? the one benny works at

 **[7:53 PM] Castiel Novak:** He's on his way.

 **[7:53 PM] Dean Winchester:** thanks cas

 **[7:53 PM] Castiel Novak:** That's what I'm here for.

* * *

"Hello, Dean," Michael greets, slowing down outside the cajun café.

Michael unlocks the doors and Dean gets in, saying, "Thanks for picking me up."

Michael nods at him in the rearview mirror and asks, "Where's Sam? Back home?" Dean tells him he's gone off to Bobby's and he nods again, beginning to drive back to the Novak-Shurley household. He asks, "What happened?"

"Got sarcastic with dad," Dean mumbles. "He was mad that I was out studying with Cas because he didn't sign off on it or something. I said that if he didn't want me to study then I could just fail my exams, and now he's pissed." It's kind of surprising how easy it is to talk to Michael. Maybe because he has a similar vibe to Cas, the same steadiness in the way they carry themselves and their blue stares.

"Good. You shouldn't take that shit," Michael says. While Michael tells him about how dads can be pretty fucking stupid sometimes and that Dean was right, he feels like a little brother and it's... not the worst feeling. He gets why Sam eases up a lot more in stressful situations when he's around. He gets it.

They pull up in the driveway and Dean follows Michael up to the doorstep. Michael says, taking out his house keys from his pocket, "There's unused toothbrushes in the bathroom. Feel free to use one, but write your name on it. We can keep it there for if you stay again. And try to stay out of Dad's way, he said yes because of your situation but he's not into the idea of a boy staying in his son's room if you get my drift. There's probably an air mattress in his room by now, you'll sleep there."

"Got it," Dean assures. Michael unlocks the door and announces their arrival, joining Gabriel in the kitchen. Cas comes out of his room and smiles, pulling Dean into a hug.

Cas and Dean go into Cas's room after Gabriel slips them some candies to eat before bed. Dean doesn't see Cas's dad anywhere, so he assumes he's in his room. Good for him, at least he won't have to try hard to avoid him. Dean asks, "What does your dad do?"

"He's a writer for the newspaper," Cas answers, pushing his door open with his foot, balancing all the candy and chocolates in his hands. Cas's room is incredible -- there are space posters on the wall, along with some glow-in-the-dark stars on the walls, though there are some on the floor, probably fallen off. A stack of vinyl records on a shelf next to a turntable. A crucifix above his bed's headboard, of course. It's immaculate, unlike Dean's horrifically messy room. He has his laptop open on Netflix's homepage and another shelf next to the table full of books.

Dean walks to the bookshelf and runs his fingers across the spine, "I know you read a lot, but holy shit."

Cas smiles as Dean pulls _The Complete Collection of Sherlock Holmes_ out and says, "You know I like reading."

"This is a whole... wow," Dean marvels. He lifts the book in his hand, grinning, "This one doesn't surprise me." He looks over the books and pulls out _Slaughterhouse-Five_. " _This_ one surprises me."

"I remember you mentioning it once so I bought it to read," Cas explains.

That makes Dean smile so wide. "You're reading this for me?"

"Yeah," Cas admits, and he looks so fucking adorable like that, and Dean kisses him.

Cas kisses back eagerly and when they pull away, Dean smiles again, pressing another quick kiss to Cas's lips before saying, "This feels right. You know, since Sam said it, I can't stop thinking about it."

"Said what?"

"The thing about us getting an apartment after college," Dean shrugs. "It's pretty far, but we could do it, right?"

Cas looks a little hesitant but he wipes it off his face before Dean can notice and ask after it. He says, flashing Dean a smile, "We could. I'd love to get an apartment with you someday."

"We'd get like a little place in... How do you feel about Texas?"

"I think it's a red state."

Dean chuckles, "Yeah, maybe not. How about Illinois?"

"What's in Illinois?"

"Didn't you move from there?"

Cas smiles half-heartedly, "I did. I barely remember it, though. I was really young."

"It's okay, we'll make new memories in Illinois," Dean affirms. "A nice place there. I'd have my Impala. We'll have the kids."

"The kids?"

"The snails," Dean explains.

Cas laughs, a warm little thing, and Dean's heart bursts at the sound. "Yes, we'll have the snails there. I'll bring all my vinyl records and books. You can bring your cassettes and bad flannel."

Dean frowns, "My flannel shirts aren't that bad."

"Babe, they're so _ugly_ ," Cas teases.

"Says the guy wearing a Teletubbies shirt," Dean rebuts. Cas sits up, offended.

"Gabriel got this for me as a joke!" Cas defends. After a pause, he admits quietly, "And it's comfortable."

Dean sits up too, hugging Cas from behind with a lazy smile as he presses a kiss to his clothed shoulder. "Yep. We should go to bed, school tomorrow."

"Okay, to the floor," Cas orders, pointing at the air mattress. "I'll get you a blanket. Stay here."

"Ooh, Mr. Bossy," Dean grins. Cas rolls his eyes and leaves, and Dean thinks he could get used to this.


	13. Dean

**[24 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

 **[10:52 AM]** **Dean Winchester:** I GOT AN A ON MY HISTORY TEST  
 **[10:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** wrong gc sorry

 **[10:53 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** noted.

 **[10:53 AM] Dean Winchester:** BE HAPPY FOR ME **  
[10:53 AM] Dean Winchester:** does anything even make you happy

 **[10:53 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i think about going to your funeral.  
 **[10:54 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** never fails to make me smile.

 **[10:54 AM] Dean Winchester:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **[10:54 AM] Meg Masters:** i bet clarence is why you got an a

 **[10:54 AM] Dean Winchester:** i wanted to impress him

 **[10:55 AM] Belphegor Kline:** what the fuck  
 **[10:55 AM] Belphegor Kline:** are these... emotions that i'm feeling?  
 **[10:55 AM] Belphegor Kline:** i hate it

 **[10:55 AM] Dean Winchester:** get used to it

* * *

**[25 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Winchesters

 **[4:29 PM]** **John Winchester:** I went through your report cards.  
 **[4:29 PM]** **John Winchester:** Straight As as always, Sam. Good.

 **[4:29 PM]** **Sam Winchester:** thanks, dad.

 **[4:30 PM]** **John Winchester:** Dean, could do better, but this is better than last time.  
 **[4:30 PM]** **John Winchester:** What changed?

 **[4:30 PM]** **Dean Winchester:** i was studying with a friend, sir.

 **[4:30 PM]** **John Winchester:** Which friend?  
 **[4:30 PM]** **John Winchester:** The one you were studying with the other time?

 **[4:30 PM]** **Dean Winchester:** yes.

 **[4:31 PM]** **John Winchester:** Do I know him? Is it that Tran kid?

 **[4:31 PM]** **Dean Winchester:** i mean, i study with him too, but i was mostly studying with cas. you've never met him.

 **[4:31 PM]** **John Winchester:** I see.  
 **[4:31 PM]** **John Winchester:** Well, good job on the improvement.

 **[4:31 PM]** **Dean Winchester:** thanks.

 **[4:32 PM]** **John Winchester:** Come to the garage, I'll show you how to drive Baby around. It's time you got her.

* * *

**[Dean's notebook]**

25.4.2008

Saying "good job" and giving me the car still doesn't make you a good father.

* * *

**[25 April 2008]**

**Group Chat:** N2S

 **[9:45 PM] Michael Shurley:** Dad got the call.  
 **[9:45 PM] Michael Shurley:** Castiel, it's in October.

 **[9:45 PM] Gabriel Novak:** holy fuck  
 **[9:45 PM] Gabriel Novak:** for real?

 **[9:49 PM] Castiel Novak:** So soon?

 **[9:49 PM] Michael Shurley:** I think you should tell Dean.  
 **[9:49 PM] Michael Shurley:** Give him time. At least it's in October.

 **[9:50 PM] Castiel Novak:** Maybe.

 **[9:50 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i pride myself on being the fun bro but mike's got a point  
 **[9:50 PM] Gabriel Novak:** you have to tell dean

 **[9:51 PM] Castiel Novak:** Fine.  
 **[9:51 PM] Castiel Novak:** When I'm ready, I will.

* * *

**[26 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[4:36 PM] Castiel Novak:** I don't know if taking a drive in your car qualifies as a date, but thank you for the date anyway.

 **[4:37 PM] Dean Winchester:** of course it's a date  
 **[4:37 PM] Dean Winchester:** all our outings are dates

 **[4:37 PM] Castiel Novak:** Not sure if this is a good thing, Dean.  
 **[4:37 PM] Castiel Novak:** Just kidding.

 **[4:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** i give and i give and i never receive

 **[4:38 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'M KIDDING. I LOVE YOU.

 **[4:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** i love you too  
 **[4:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** NEVER BULLY ME LIKE THIS AGAIN

 **[4:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** Okay, Dean.

 **[4:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** hey you know how i call you angel  
 **[4:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** why don't i have a pet name

 **[4:40 PM] Castiel Novak:** I love your name.  
 **[4:40 PM] Castiel Novak:** I can't imagine calling you anything else. Four little letters that have gained a whole new meaning because I met and fell in love with you. Dean.

 **[4:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** i wasn't expecting that but now i'm crying

* * *

**[27 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Crowley MacLeod, Dean Winchester

 **[9:34 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** wings collapsed during chemistry, one of the experiments blew up and the sound shocked him too hard, i think.

 **[9:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** IS HE OKAY?  
 **[9:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** WHERE IS HE

 **[9:34 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** nurse moseley's office. i'm with him right now.

 **[9:37 AM] Dean Winchester:** lied to mr redfield on my way over now

 **[9:38 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** wings says you should go back to class.

 **[9:38 AM] Dean Winchester:** fuck class man  
 **[9:38 AM] Dean Winchester:** he's more important

 **[9:38 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** you two are insufferable.  
 **[9:39 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** anyway, he's alright now. just got a bit of a shock, the experiment was right behind us.

 **[9:39 AM] Dean Winchester:** cas hates getting surprised like that  
 **[9:39 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm almost there

* * *

**[27 April 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[6:24 PM] Dean Winchester:** will you tell me what happened now?

 **[6:48 PM] Castiel Novak:** Give me some time, please.  
 **[6:48 PM] Castiel Novak:** I know I should tell you but it's hard for me.  
 **[6:48 PM] Castiel Novak:** Probably because I don't want to face reality.  
 **[6:49 PM] Castiel Novak:** I will tell you but will you give me time?

 **[6:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** whatever you need

* * *

**[1 June 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[2:29 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'm sorry.

 **[2:30 AM] Dean Winchester:** ???  
 **[2:30 AM] Dean Winchester:** for what??  
 **[2:30 AM] Dean Winchester:** are you okay?

 **[2:31 AM] Castiel Novak:** I've been up thinking about it and I should have told you about this sooner. But a part of me didn't want to deal with the fact that it's real. Crowley even said I should tell you and I knew he was right, but I just didn't want to shatter the illusion. I was just thinking about my life and I don't think I can keep doing this without telling you.

 **[2:31 AM] Dean Winchester:** tell me what?

 **[2:32 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's a lot.

 **[2:32 AM] Dean Winchester:** cas, what? come on it'll be okay, tell me

 **[2:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** I have this condition called rheumatic heart disease, it started from the fever. It’ll destroy my heart at some point.  
 **[2:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** I have an operation at the end of the year to replace a heart valve. I was on a waitlist and they said they'll be ready around October.

 **[2:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** what?  
 **[2:34 AM] Dean Winchester:** then this will be fixed soon, right?

 **[2:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** It may extend my life.  
 **[2:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** I may not get to graduate.  
 **[2:35 AM] Castiel Novak:** It’s a thin line that I will have to walk blind.

 **[2:36 AM] Dean Winchester:** shit  
 **[2:36 AM] Dean Winchester:** really no other way?  
 **[2:36 AM] Dean Winchester:** i mean you got this far without an operation

 **[2:37 AM] Castiel Novak:** And it's because I don't have an operation that there's a lot I can't do.  
 **[2:37 AM] Castiel Novak:** I visit the school pool at least once a week and I'm not even part of the swim team. I go there to collect snails.  
 **[2:37 AM] Castiel Novak:** My father thinks it's a good decision.

 **[2:37 AM] Dean Winchester:** but what do you think

 **[2:38 AM] Castiel Novak:** I think it could be a good thing too.  
 **[2:38 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's a chance.

* * *

**[Dean's notebook]**

1.6.08

Today, I found out that he has rheumatic heart disease. I’ve never heard of it, but he told me that it’s basically been destroying his heart since. Apparently he got this fever as a kid and his dad didn’t realize how bad it was until he collapsed during a sports event at school.

It’s why his dad freaked on Gabe when Cas fainted in Barcelona, and why Cas wasn’t on the school’s swim team, or doing any sports for that matter. 

He’s been on the waitlist for a new heart valve for a while now but they told him they’ll be ready for him in a few months, probably October or so.

I didn’t tell him, but I’m so fucking scared.


	14. Galaxy Brain Idea

**[3 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[8:48 AM] Sam Winchester:** why is it so quiet in here  
 **[8:48 AM] Sam Winchester:** i’m uncomfortable

* * *

 **Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[8:49 AM] Castiel Novak:** You didn’t tell Sam?

 **[8:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** IT WASN’T MY INFO TO GIVE??  
 **[8:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** i didn’t know if you wanted sam to know too so i didn’t

 **[8:49 AM] Castiel Novak:** Should I tell him privately or in the group chat?

 **[8:50 AM] Dean Winchester:** privately  
 **[8:50 AM] Dean Winchester:** and maybe after school

* * *

 **Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[8:51 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'll tell you later.

 **[8:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** ominous  
 **[8:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** lmao ok

* * *

**[3 June 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[5:30 PM] Sam Winchester:** wow just realised we barely dm  
 **[5:30 PM] Sam Winchester:** wild  
 **[5:30 PM] Sam Winchester:** anyway what's up

 **[5:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** I need to tell you something but it's a lot.

 **[5:31 PM] Sam Winchester:** what is it?

 **[5:32 PM] Castiel Novak:** I have atrium septum defect. I have an operation to fix it in October. I don't have a specific date yet, but it'll be around there.  
 **[5:38 PM] Castiel Novak:** Sam?

 **[5:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** sorry  
 **[5:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** i was looking it up  
 **[5:40 PM] Sam Winchester:** come on i'm sure it'll be fine, right? you've gone on this long with it

 **[5:40 PM] Castiel Novak:** I understand that but I also hate being restricted the way I have been.

 **[5:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** but  
 **[5:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** fuck  
 **[5:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** this is scary

 **[5:41 PM] Castiel Novak:** Maybe I shouldn't have told you.

 **[5:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** no omg  
 **[5:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** thank you for trusting me cas  
 **[5:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** does dean know?

 **[5:42 PM] Castiel Novak:** He was the first one I told.

 **[5:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** okay  
 **[5:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** you tell me if you ever need anything okay? anything at all. i'll drop everything and come help you out

 **[5:43 PM] Castiel Novak:** Thank you, Sam.

 **[5:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** i love you man  
 **[5:44 PM] Sam Winchester:** i'm sorry you have to go through this

 **[5:44 PM] Castiel Novak:** It is what it is, unfortunately. We make do with what we have.  
 **[5:44 PM] Castiel Novak:** And I love you too.

* * *

**[4 June 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Crowley MacLeod, Castiel Novak

 **[2:21 AM] Castiel Novak:** I told Sam yesterday and Dean three days ago.

 **[2:21 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** well, how did the hardy boys take it?

 **[2:21 AM] Castiel Novak:** Understandably upset, and very supportive. Better than I could have hoped for.

 **[2:22 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** that's good...  
 **[2:22 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** you know meg has her suspicions, right?

 **[2:22 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'm about to text her.

 **[2:23 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** okay.

 **[2:23 AM] Castiel Novak:** How are you doing, Crowley?

 **[2:24 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** what do you mean?

 **[2:24 AM] Castiel Novak:** I have until October.

 **[2:24 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** wow, don't sugarcoat it, wings.  
 **[2:25 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** anyway, none of us are prophets. it could go both ways.

 **[2:25 AM] Castiel Novak:** Crowley.

 **[2:25 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** for fuck's sake, castiel.  
 **[2:26 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i have never admitted it but i like our friendship. i like having you around.  
 **[2:26 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** if i had it my way, we'd never be in this situation.

 **[2:26 AM] Castiel Novak:** I know.  
 **[2:26 AM] Castiel Novak:** I wish it was different too.

 **[2:27 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** if only chuck sent you to the hospital when michael and gabriel asked him to.

 **[2:27 AM] Castiel Novak:** Too late for that, I think.

* * *

**[6 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[10:03 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** BIOLOGY TEST RESULTS ARE OUT  
 **[10:03 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** I GOT A 75

 **[10:04 AM] Kevin Tran:** 100 gang 

**[10:04 AM] Jo Harvelle:** don't be shy share some of that brain

 **[10:04 AM] Kevin Tran:** no it's my brain get your own

 **[10:05 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** 93 BAY BEE

 **[10:05 AM] Sam Winchester:** 97 i love to see it

 **[10:05 AM] Castiel Novak:** I got a 90.

 **[10:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** A 78????

 **[10:06 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** DEAN BABY OMG

 **[10:06 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** KING SHIT

 **[10:06 AM] Dean Winchester:** so not expecting anything higher than a 50

 **[10:06 AM] Sam Winchester:** DEAN YOU DID THAT

 **[10:07 AM] Jo Harvelle:** CONGRATS DEAN  
 **[10:07 AM] Jo Harvelle:** YOU IMPROVED SO MUCH

 **[10:07 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'm really proud of you, Dean. <3

 **[10:07 AM] Dean Winchester:** i have my genius boyfriend and genius friend to thank

 **[10:08 AM] Kevin Tran:** we're not dating

 **[10:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** sigh

 **[10:08 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i love to see us all thriving

 **[10:08 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** YESSSS GAYS ALWAYS WIN

 **[10:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** thanks for helping me get a 78 guys  
 **[10:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** i love u kev  
 **[10:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** and i love cas so much

 **[10:09 AM] Castiel Novak:** I do not love Dean.

 **[10:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** why not :(

 **[10:10 AM] Castiel Novak:** Because I am IN LOVE with Dean.

 **[10:10 AM] Jo Harvelle:** i didn't think i was gonna cry today but here we are

 **[10:10 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm ??? sobbing ???  
 **[10:10 AM] Dean Winchester:** in love w the angel that is castiel novak

 **[10:11 AM] Sam Winchester:** destiel get a room

* * *

**[7 June 2008]**

**Private Chat:** John Winchester, Dean Winchester

 **[4:53 PM] John Winchester:** How was that test you had?

 **[4:53 PM] Dean Winchester:** i got a 78.

 **[4:55 PM] John Winchester:** What did you get last time?

 **[4:56 PM] Dean Winchester:** a 52.

 **[4:57 PM] John Winchester:** Good progress.  
 **[4:57 PM] John Winchester:** How'd you make that jump?

 **[4:57 PM] Dean Winchester:** i've been studying with kevin and cas.

 **[4:58 PM] John Winchester:** Kevin Tran?

 **[4:58 PM] Dean Winchester:** yeah.

 **[4:58 PM] John Winchester:** And who's Cas?

 **[4:59 PM] Dean Winchester:** a good friend of mine.

 **[4:59 PM] John Winchester:** I think I should meet him.

 **[4:59 PM] Dean Winchester:** his dad's kinda protective so i'll have to ask him if he can.  
 **[4:59 PM] Dean Winchester:** why do you want to meet him anyway?

 **[4:59 PM] John Winchester:** He brought you from an F to a C. That's impressive. I'd like to meet the kid who could do that.

 **[5:00 PM] Dean Winchester:** but kevin helped too.

 **[5:00 PM] John Winchester:** And yet, he couldn't take you higher than a D.  
 **[5:00 PM] John Winchester:** Let me know if this Cas kid can make it.

 **[5:02 PM] Dean Winchester:** yes, sir.

* * *

 **Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[5:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** my dad wants to meet you  
 **[5:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** i guess he wants to thank you for bringing my grades up

 **[5:24 PM] Castiel Novak:** SFLR; Was helping Gabriel with something.  
 **[5:24 PM] Castiel Novak:** Thank me? I didn't take the test for you, you did it yourself.

 **[5:25 PM] Dean Winchester:** my dad doesn't think i do anything lol

 **[5:25 PM] Castiel Novak:** He is a ridiculous man.  
 **[5:25 PM] Castiel Novak:** Wait till I get my hands on him...

 **[5:26 PM] Dean Winchester:** now THAT'S something i wouldn't miss for the world  
 **[5:26 PM] Dean Winchester:** but no crazy physical activity

 **[5:26 PM] Castiel Novak:** It's okay. I will simply repeatedly point out that it was all you.  
 **[5:26 PM] Castiel Novak:** When do you want to have me over?  
 **[5:27 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm free after church tomorrow.

 **[5:27 PM] Dean Winchester:** sunday works

 **[5:27 PM] Castiel Novak:** I can't believe I get to meet the notorious John Winchester this Sunday.

 **[5:27 PM] Dean Winchester:** wow tell him how you really feel

 **[5:28 PM] Castiel Novak:** I will.  
 **[5:28 PM] Castiel Novak:** Also, I'm guessing he doesn't know about us?

 **[5:28 PM] Dean Winchester:** i told him you're my good friend

 **[5:29 PM] Castiel Novak:** Alright. I will act accordingly.

 **[5:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** man you are literally the coolest boyfriend ever

 **[5:29 PM] Castiel Novak:** I know.

* * *

**[8 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** N2S

 **[12:03 PM] Gabriel Novak:** you're going to the winchester's house later???

 **[12:03 PM] Castiel Novak:** His father wants to meet me.

 **[12:03 PM] Michael Shurley:** He told his father about you?

 **[12:03 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm just a close friend. He wants to thank me for helping Dean for his tests.

 **[12:04 PM] Michael Shurley:** Watch out. I have never met the man but from what I heard, he's a complete clown.

 **[12:04 PM] Gabriel Novak:** michael using "clown" should not be as funny as it is

 **[12:04 PM] Michael Shurley:** Grow up.

 **[12:05 PM] Gabriel Novak:** you're so rude and for what  
 **[12:05 PM] Gabriel Novak:** this is why i like cas better

 **[12:05 PM] Michael Shurley:** I also like Castiel better. You're not special.

 **[12:05 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i wish i had the words for how appalled you make me but i don't

 **[12:06 PM] Michael Shurley:** Do you want me to drive you over?

 **[12:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** Dean got his car from his dad so he's going to pick me up from the library next to the church.  
 **[12:06 PM] Castiel Novak:** I didn't tell Dad I was going with Dean so just tell him I went back to school to get something.

 **[12:07 PM] Gabriel Novak:** you lil rebel  
 **[12:07 PM] Gabriel Novak:** you would lie to dad for anyone else

 **[12:07 PM] Castiel Novak:** Dean is different.

* * *

**[8 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[2:40 PM] Sam Winchester:** DID CAS LOSE HIS MF MIND DURING LUNCH?????

 **[2:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** LITERALLY WHEEZING

 **[2:40 PM] Sam Winchester:** DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE

 **[2:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** relax it's text to speech  
 **[2:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** but i'll stop

 **[2:41 PM] Castiel Novak:** My mind is intact.

 **[2:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** WHAT WERE YOU THINKING  
 **[2:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** nobody has talked to dad like that before

 **[2:41 PM] Castiel Novak:** You're being dramatic. All I said was that he should give his son more credit.

 **[2:41 PM] Sam Winchester:** yeah and you're forgetting that you also told him to shove his bullshit up his ass

 **[2:42 PM] Castiel Novak:** Well, he ended lunch very promptly after that. Rude.

 **[2:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** you're a crazy guy  
 **[2:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** then again you're also the guy who liked dean's weird exorcism date  
 **[2:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** no wonder dean's gone on you

 **[2:43 PM] Castiel Novak:** How romantic of him.  
 **[2:43 PM] Castiel Novak:** How is John?

 **[2:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** he left after you guys did, i think he's going to the auto shop or something  
 **[2:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** he didn't say anything to me he just left  
 **[2:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** omg he might be scared of you cas

 **[2:44 PM] Castiel Novak:** He should be.

 **[2:44 PM] Sam Winchester:** you're literally superman  
 **[2:44 PM] Sam Winchester:** when he asked you how you pass your exams and you said with something he didn't have... and you said a brain...

 **[2:44 PM] Castiel Novak:** :)  
 **[2:44 PM] Castiel Novak:** Did I lie?

 **[2:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** not at all  
 **[2:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** i see why dean loves you  
 **[2:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** mr gonna steal your boy

 **[2:45 PM] Dean Winchester:** back off you fuckin clown

 **[2:46 PM] Sam Winchester:** i knew you'd come online for that  
 **[2:46 PM] Sam Winchester:** DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE

 **[2:46 PM] Castiel Novak:** Stoplight.

 **[2:46 PM] Dean Winchester:** anyway we're almost at cas's place so

 **[2:47 PM] Sam Winchester:** you coming home after?

 **[2:47 PM] Castiel Novak:** Dean decided that he wants more food so we're going to a coffee shop instead.

 **[2:47 PM] Sam Winchester:** i hate y'all

* * *

**[10 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

 **[11:29 AM] Meg Masters:** i'll add you back in a bit

_Meg Masters removed Belphegor Kline_

**[11:29 AM] Meg Masters:** WHAT THE FUCK?  
 **[11:29 AM] Meg Masters:** DID YOU TWO KNOW ABOUT CLARENCE?

 **[11:30 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i thought he told you a week ago.

 **[11:30 AM] Meg Masters:** he told me today at the lockers  
 **[11:30 AM] Meg Masters:** so you knew

 **[11:31 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** in his defence, he didn't tell me. michael did.

 **[11:31 AM] Meg Masters:** and dean?

 **[11:31 AM] Dean Winchester:** he told me about 8 days ago

 **[11:31 AM] Meg Masters:** jesus fucking christ  
 **[11:32 AM] Meg Masters:** fucking october

 **[11:32 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** at the risk of being optimistic, i'm sure we are all anxious over nothing.

 **[11:32 AM] Meg Masters:** fuck

 **[11:32 AM] Dean Winchester:** meg you okay?

 **[11:33 AM] Meg Masters:** clarence doesn't deserve this  
 **[11:33 AM] Meg Masters:** fuck that dickhead chuck

 **[11:33 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** that, we can agree on.

* * *

**[Dean's notebook]**

13.6.2008

The snails are doing fine. Bee's a little slower than usual but I think he's just lazy. Clarence and Chevy get along well. I wish Cas could come over more often to see them. I send him photos of them all the time but it doesn't feel like it's enough.

Cas and I went on a date today, I just came back from it an hour ago. Well, I count it as a date. Don't know about him. Cas dragged me into the library and we went to the fiction section and he started to read badly written erotica in the weirdest accents ever (kinda sexy). I couldn't stop laughing and he kept shushing me but he's too funny. The memory of him saying "the dog-ugliest creep looked like Jake Gyllenhaal" like an offended Russian...

Sam and I like to set off fireworks in the empty lot behind Ellen's Roadhouse. I'm thinking I'll invite

Wait. No, nevermind. Too loud, maybe.

WAIT.

GALAXY BRAIN IDEA.

EARPLUGS???

Holy shit I'm a genius

They can't be that expensive. Two bucks could get me a good enough pair, I think. I'll check with Michael, he'll know the best option.

Okay, I'll invite Cas to watch fireworks. He can wear earplugs so it won't be loud. YES.


	15. Hola, Preciosa

**[14 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

_Meg Masters added Belphegor Kline_

**[2:39 AM] Meg Masters:** omg lol forgot to add you back

 **[2:39 AM] Belphegor Kline:** LITERALLY HATE IT HERE

 **[2:39 AM] Meg Masters:** you're welcome to leave again

 **[2:39 AM] Belphegor Kline:** omg no wait i love it here pls don't kick me pls plspls no i love it pls

 **[2:40 AM] Meg Masters:** ugh someone please pick up their child  
 **[2:40 AM] Meg Masters:** MISS KLINE??? COLLECT YOUR SON!!!

 **[2:40 AM] Belphegor Kline:** do NOT invoke her name  
 **[2:40 AM] Belphegor Kline:** she could hear you

 **[2:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** motherfucker do you have text to speech on or what how the hell would she hear it

 **[2:41 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** when you don't have any brain cells...

 **[2:41 AM] Belphegor Kline:** what the fuck  
 **[2:41 AM] Belphegor Kline:** i come back and y'all bully me like this  
 **[2:41 AM] Belphegor Kline:** I DON'T DESERVE THIS ???

 **[2:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** ok

 **[2:42 AM] Belphegor Kline:** what the FUCK  
 **[2:42 AM] Belphegor Kline:** anyway  
 **[2:42 AM] Belphegor Kline:** why did y'all kick me for a while  
 **[2:42 AM] Belphegor Kline:** were you talking shit  
 **[2:42 AM] Belphegor Kline:** about who  
 **[2:43 AM] Belphegor Kline:** i hope it's not me  
 **[2:43 AM] Belphegor Kline:** is it me  
 **[2:43 AM] Belphegor Kline:** WERE Y'ALL TALKING SHIT ABOUT /ME/????

 **[2:43 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** oh my god somebody tell him something already.

 **[2:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** we were talking about how much of a pussy you are

 **[2:44 AM] Belphegor Kline:** no the fuck y'all weren't

 **[2:44 AM] Dean Winchester:** why not

 **[2:44 AM] Belphegor Kline:** you already call me a pussy to my face  
 **[2:44 AM] Belphegor Kline:** engaging my inner sherlock  
 **[2:44 AM] Belphegor Kline:** you were talking about someone else that i also know

 **[2:45 AM] Meg Masters:** lol good luck finding out who

 **[2:45 AM] Belphegor Kline:** you were talking about cas

 **[2:45 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** that... did not take very long.

 **[2:45 AM] Belphegor Kline:** what did you say about was that i couldn't be here for

 **[2:46 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** ask him yourself.

 **[2:46 AM] Belphegor Kline:** FINE  
 **[3:08 AM] Belphegor Kline:** why am i crying

 **[3:08 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** see what happens when you open pandora's box?

* * *

**[14 June 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[3:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** why are you still awake wtf  
 **[3:08 AM] Dean Winchester:** go to sleep ???

 **[3:09 AM] Castiel Novak:** Well, Belphegor wanted to know about me so I was telling him. Why are YOU awake?

 **[3:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** spanish homework  
 **[3:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** i've been stuck on this one question but i don't wanna use google translate  
 **[3:09 AM] Dean Winchester:** like i wanna learn, you know?

 **[3:10 AM] Castiel Novak:** I love that.  
 **[3:10 AM] Castiel Novak:** Well, we can work on it on the way to school tomorrow.

 **[3:10 AM] Dean Winchester:** thank you angel  
 **[3:10 AM] Dean Winchester:** now go and sleep

 **[3:11 AM] Castiel Novak:** I can't sleep.  
 **[3:11 AM] Castiel Novak:** Can we call?

**[3:11 AM]** _Incoming call from Dean Winchester  
_ **[4:04 AM]** _Call ended: 53 minutes_

**[4:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** you fell asleep so i ended the call  
 **[4:04 AM] Dean Winchester:** see you tomorrow :)

* * *

**[15 June 2008]**

_[Passed to Dean in Spanish class]_

Hola, guapo.

* * *

_[Passed to Cas in Spanish class]_

The only word I got from that is "hola"

* * *

_[Passed to Dean in Spanish class]_

Guapo means handsome >:(

* * *

_[Passed to Cas in Spanish class]_

Oh.

Then hola, preciosa.

I think that means beautiful?

* * *

_[Passed to Dean in Spanish class]_

Te quiero.

* * *

**[17 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[11:26 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** i hate that this gc died for a bit  
 **[11:26 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** bring it back???

 **[11:26 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** but it's dead bc we're talking irl??

 **[11:26 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** who the fuck asked you

 **[11:26 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** is this bc i'm het

 **[11:27 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** no but now it is

 **[11:27 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** acceptable

 **[11:27 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** DEANNNNN

 **[11:27 AM] Dean Winchester:** yes my queen

 **[11:28 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** get married to cas so this gc will be alive again

 **[11:28 AM] Castiel Novak:** You forget that we're both boys.

 **[11:28 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** damn fuck america  
 **[11:28 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** ok new plan jo marry garth

 **[11:28 AM] Jo Harvelle:** i don't want to marry garth he's smelly

 **[11:29 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** I AM NOT SMELLY

 **[11:29 AM] Jo Harvelle:** can i marry kevin instead

 **[11:29 AM] Kevin Tran:** i don't want to marry jo

 **[11:29 AM] Jo Harvelle:** EXCUSE ME??? I'M A WHOLE CATCH

 **[11:29 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** no ur smelly

 **[11:30 AM] Kevin Tran:** i'm sure you're right but can i marry sam

 **[11:30 AM] Dean Winchester:** now we're back at square one

 **[11:30 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** ok fine i'll marry dean

 **[11:30 AM] Castiel Novak:** You're a lesbian.

 **[11:31 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** curses foiled again  
 **[11:31 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** ok jo marry dean

 **[11:31 AM] Dean Winchester:** no she's like my sister

 **[11:31 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** IT'S LIKE Y'ALL DON'T WANT THIS GC TO BE ACTIVE ANYMORE

 **[11:31 AM] Sam Winchester:** what the fuck is going on

 **[11:32 AM] Castiel Novak:** Scroll up, this isn't Snapchat. The messages are still here.

 **[11:32 AM] Dean Winchester:** yeah you bitch

 **[11:32 AM] Sam Winchester:** i'm your brother???

 **[11:32 AM] Dean Winchester:** does that mean you can't be a bitch???

 **[11:32 AM] Sam Winchester:** takes one to know one i guess

 **[11:33 AM] Kevin Tran:** FUCK

 **[11:33 AM] Dean Winchester:** WHAT THE FUCK

* * *

**[20 June 2008]**

[Found in Dean's locker with a bracelet with skulls on it]

I found it in the library and I thought you would like it.

C

* * *

[Found in Cas's locker]

YOU STOLE SOMEONE'S BRACELET???

That's kinda hot. Gonna wear it to school tomorrow.

D

* * *

**[22 June 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

**[4:58 AM]** _Missed call from Castiel Novak_

**[4:58 AM] Castiel Novak:** dean bbay  
 **[4:58 AM] Castiel Novak:** i love euoouuy

 **[4:58 AM] Dean Winchester:** u drunk?

 **[4:58 AM] Castiel Novak:** no m jus tiredd  
 **[4:59 AM] Castiel Novak:** why ru awak

 **[4:59 AM] Dean Winchester:** my boyfriend texted me at 5 in the morning i thought it was an emergency

 **[4:59 AM] Castiel Novak:** not 5 yet  
 **[5:00 AM] Castiel Novak:** ok now m testing u at 5  
 **[5:00 AM] Castiel Novak:** texxxting

 **[5:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** baby go to sleep

 **[5:00 AM] Castiel Novak:** how did yuo even know twas me

 **[5:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** TWAS????  
 **[5:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** and i set your calls to a different ringtone

 **[5:01 AM] Castiel Novak:** what d you putt

 **[5:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** i put that avril lavigne song bc i thought it would be funny  
 **[5:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** hey hey you you i don't like your girlfriend

 **[5:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** im gay  
 **[5:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** i have never had a girlfren

 **[5:02 AM] Dean Winchester:** i like you better when you're tired  
 **[5:02 AM] Dean Winchester:** never sleep again

 **[5:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** anything for uu <3

 **[5:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** you're so cute what the fuck  
 **[5:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** go sleep

 **[5:03 AM] Castiel Novak:** no u

 **[5:03 AM] Dean Winchester:** zzz

 **[5:03 AM] Castiel Novak:** good  
 **[5:04 AM] Castiel Novak:** zzz  
 **[5:04 AM] Castiel Novak:** buzz buzz  
 **[5:04 AM] Castiel Novak:** can i come and see bee  
 **[5:04 AM] Castiel Novak:** and the other kids

 **[5:05 AM] Dean Winchester:** zzz

 **[5:05 AM] Castiel Novak:** you're right  
 **[5:05 AM] Castiel Novak:** zzz

* * *

**[25 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[8:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** FIREWORKS TOMORROWWWW

 **[8:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** Fireworks? What's the occasion?  
 **[8:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** Fourth of July isn't for another week, at least.

 **[8:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** we did it on the fourth when we were kids but then like fuck america  
 **[8:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** now we do the fireworks whenever we want to  
 **[8:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** do you wanna come with us? i've been meaning to ask

 **[8:41 PM] Castiel Novak:** Asking me one day before you do them...

 **[8:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** are you busy?

 **[8:41 PM] Castiel Novak:** I would love to go, Dean, but fireworks are too loud.

 **[8:41 PM] Dean Winchester:** i bought you earplugs

 **[8:42 PM] Sam Winchester:** how romantic

 **[8:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** shut up bitch  
 **[8:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** so will you come with us?? i'll pick you up in my sexy car

 **[8:42 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes, Dean :)  
 **[8:42 PM] Castiel Novak:** Only because I get to go in your sexy car.

 **[8:42 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll take it

 **[8:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** please stop calling the impala sexy

 **[8:43 PM] Castiel Novak:** Just humouring him.

 **[8:43 PM] Sam Winchester:** humouring ATROCIOUS BEHAVIOUR

* * *

**[26 June 2008]**

Cas sits on the hood of the Impala as Dean sets up the fireworks display. Ellen lends the brothers the empty lot behind the Roadhouse whenever they want to set them off. The floor has black marks from old ones and there will be fresh ones by the end of the night. Sam digs out the earplugs from the backseat and hands them to Cas as Dean straightens up, smiling at his arrangement.

"This will do," Dean nods once to himself, walking back to the car. "Pass me the matches, babe?"

Cas turns and grabs the matchbox on the roof of the car, passing it off to Dean as he hums. "How long have you been doing these for?"

"Since I turned 5," Sam answers, taking a match from Dean to help light up the ropes. The two kneel down and work on it before they stand and take steps back.

Dean settles next to Cas on the hood and says, pointing to the earplugs, "You should put these in right about now." Cas obeys, putting them in his ears and giving Dean a thumbs up when he can't hear Dean anymore. Sam sits on Cas's other side, legs kicking excitedly in anticipation.

In a matter of seconds, the fireworks begin to go off. Bright flares of every colour in the rainbow explode in the dark sky above them and sparks float down to greet the concrete. Cas's mouth falls open as he watches them burst into colour and the light kisses Cas's smile in such a gorgeous way that Dean realises belatedly that he hasn't even looked at the fireworks once. He'd been looking at Cas the whole time.

As the last of the fireworks begin to die off, Cas turns to Dean, bright grin on his face, and says, "This is the best day of my life." Even when he said it a little loudly over the earplugs, Dean can only smile back and kiss him.

Sam groans and mutters something about them not doing anything in the back of the Impala but he gives them privacy, going to clean up the fireworks. Dean takes the earplugs out of Cas's ears and laughs, "Best day of your life. That good, huh?"

"It was that good. Thank you," Cas smiles, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Dean's lips before he gets off of the hood, going to sit in the shotgun. Dean hears Sam protest and Cas teasing about how it's "first come first serve", which is _so_ not the rule in the Impala, but he's ridiculously happy tonight. It all felt right. He looks up at the sky and closes his eyes in silent prayer. There are no words that run through his mind, no actual plea to God, but it's a fleeting moment of hope.

He opens his eyes and the first star of the night blinks from above him.


	16. Your First Customer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/ Homophobia

**[30 June 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

 **[3:33 AM] Meg Masters:** will add you back in 5 mins

_Meg Masters removed Dean Winchester_

**[3:33 AM] Meg Masters:** i ain't get no sleep cause of y'all  
**[3:33 AM] Meg Masters:** y'all ain't get no sleep cause of me

 **[3:33 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** can't have nice things in this house.

 **[3:33 AM] Belphegor Kline:** what do you want my queen  
**[3:34 AM] Belphegor Kline:** are we talking shit about dean this time

 **[3:34 AM] Meg Masters:** clarence isn't going to school tomorrow  
**[3:34 AM] Meg Masters:** doc appointment

 **[3:34 AM] Belphegor Kline:** gonna have to beat god for that one

 **[3:35 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** what do you want to do?

 **[3:35 AM] Meg Masters:** clarence texted me earlier to say we should take dean out to do something fun and take his mind off of it  
**[3:35 AM] Meg Masters:** can y'all come with me after school i'm thinking the arcade

 **[3:35 AM] Belphegor Kline:** i'm always free ofc

 **[3:36 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i'll come along.

 **[3:36 AM] Meg Masters:** not one word about this being clarence's plan to dean

_Meg Masters added Dean Winchester_

**[3:37 AM] Dean Winchester:** wtf

 **[3:37 AM] Belphegor Kline:** hey winchester do u wanna go to the arcade after school tomorrow

 **[3:37 AM] Dean Winchester:** um  
**[3:37 AM] Dean Winchester:** yeah i can go

 **[3:38 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** don't bring money, your games are on me.

* * *

**[2 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[12:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** i miss you

 **[12:52 PM] Castiel Novak:** Me too.  
**[12:52 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'll be at school tomorrow. Michael has a date with Adam so he can't drive me to school.

 **[12:53 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll pick you up tomorrow  
**[12:53 PM] Dean Winchester:** who has a date at 8 in the morning

 **[12:53 PM] Castiel Novak:** Michael.

 **[12:53 PM] Dean Winchester:** eh he seems like the type

 **[12:54 PM] Castiel Novak:** Well, they're going away for the week.  
**[12:54 PM] Castiel Novak:** Adam's birthday, I think.

 **[12:54 PM] Dean Winchester:** that's cute  
**[12:54 PM] Dean Winchester:** would your dad complain if i wanted to take you away for a weekend on your birthday

 **[12:54 PM] Castiel Novak:** I don't know... September is very close to October...  
**[12:55 PM] Castiel Novak:** I will let you know.

 **[12:56 PM] Dean Winchester:** babeee

 **[12:56 PM] Castiel Novak:** Yes?

 **[12:56 PM] Dean Winchester:** can you go out with me for lunch right now

 **[12:57 PM] Castiel Novak:** Church is about to end and Benny's cajun place is the only place in walking distance.

 **[12:57 PM] Dean Winchester:** meet me there at 1:10? i'll order ahead if you're late

 **[12:57 PM] Castiel Novak:** Of course. See you then.

 **[12:58 PM] Dean Winchester:** gonna give u a big big kiss when i see u <3

 **[12:58 PM] Castiel Novak:** Not if I kiss you first.

* * *

**[6 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester

 **[4:27 PM] Sam Winchester:** are you at cas's place?

 **[4:27 PM] Dean Winchester:** yeah why

 **[4:27 PM] Sam Winchester:** i don't wanna go home  
**[4:27 PM] Sam Winchester:** can i come over to cas's

 **[4:28 PM] Dean Winchester:** gimme a sec i'll ask cas's dad  
**[4:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll pick you up from the roadhouse in 10

 **[4:30 PM] Sam Winchester:** okay  
**[4:36 PM] Sam Winchester:** i'm already there so i'll just wait outside

 **[4:36 PM] Dean Winchester:** did something happen?

 **[4:37 PM] Sam Winchester:** i kissed a boy and dad saw me

 **[4:37 PM] Dean Winchester:** oh  
**[4:37 PM] Dean Winchester:** is that kid home?

 **[4:37 PM] Sam Winchester:** yeah we were at the roadhouse on a date and dad passed by from work  
**[4:38 PM] Sam Winchester:** he didn't come in but he saw us  
**[4:38 PM] Sam Winchester:** then he continued going home but i really don't want to face him

 **[4:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** alright  
**[4:38 PM] Dean Winchester:** it's gonna be okay sammy  
**[4:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm walking there and cas said gabriel's gonna cook something warm and nice for dinner and we can stay over  
**[4:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** i convinced him to watch spirited away, i know you like that movie so we're gonna watch that tonight  
**[4:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll be there soon, okay?

 **[4:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** okay  
**[4:39 PM] Sam Winchester:** i'm sorry to bother you on your date

 **[4:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** that's what brothers are for, man  
**[4:40 PM] Dean Winchester:** see you soon

* * *

**[7 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** John Winchester, Dean Winchester

 **[5:03 PM] John Winchester:** Where is your brother?

 **[5:03 PM] Dean Winchester:** what is it now?

 **[5:03 PM] John Winchester:** I want to talk to him.

 **[5:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** about what?

 **[5:04 PM] John Winchester:** I saw him kissing a boy.

 **[5:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** so?

 **[5:04 PM] John Winchester:** It's not right.

 **[5:04 PM] Dean Winchester:** no, you know what?  
**[5:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm sick of it.  
**[5:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** i know mom dying hurt you but it's not an excuse for anything you have done to us.

 **[5:05 PM] John Winchester:** What?

 **[5:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** there's nothing wrong with this.  
**[5:05 PM] Dean Winchester:** if sam wants to kiss boys then he can kiss any boy he wants.  
**[5:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** it literally doesn't affect you.

 **[5:06 PM] John Winchester:** I don't know how you can support this.

 **[5:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** jesus christ.  
**[5:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** okay, whatever. fuck this.  
**[5:06 PM] Dean Winchester:** you know the kid who helped me raise my grades? he's my boyfriend  
**[5:07 PM] Dean Winchester:** has been since late march.  
**[5:07 PM] Dean Winchester:** and you know what? i don't even care what you think.  
**[5:07 PM] Dean Winchester:** you're not my dad.

* * *

**[7 July 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[3:55 AM] Castiel Novak:** Have you made it home yet?  
**[3:55 AM] Castiel Novak:** How did your father react?

 **[3:55 AM] Dean Winchester:** we never went home

 **[3:55 AM] Castiel Novak:** ???  
**[3:56 AM] Castiel Novak:** Then where are you two?

 **[3:56 AM] Sam Winchester:** bobby's

 **[3:56 AM] Castiel Novak:** Are you going to go back?

 **[3:56 AM] Dean Winchester:** no

 **[3:57 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean, what happened?

 **[3:57 AM] Dean Winchester:** i finally stood up to the son of a bitch

* * *

**[10 July 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[10:39 AM] Kevin Tran:** i've been upset all weekend  
**[10:39 AM] Kevin Tran:** cas's dm really beat the shit out of me

 **[10:39 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** google how do i delete a month

 **[10:40 AM] Jo Harvelle:** how are you two doing? :(

 **[10:40 AM] Castiel Novak:** I made my peace with it long ago.  
**[10:40 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's just a matter of waiting.

 **[10:40 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** never cried so hard in my life

 **[10:41 AM] Jo Harvelle:** god i hate this so much

 **[10:41 AM] Kevin Tran:** do you have the exact date yet?

 **[10:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** They'll probably tell me during September.  
**[10:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'll be online less as the date approaches, I hope you don't mind.

 **[10:41 AM] Garth Fitzgerald:** of course not cas

 **[10:42 AM] Charlie Bradbury:** but you will text us if you need anything?

 **[10:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** Of course.

* * *

**[13 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[2:38 AM] Dean Winchester:** sorry  
**[2:38 AM] Dean Winchester:** i know i said i wouldn't talk about it  
**[2:38 AM] Dean Winchester:** i can't stop thinking about what you said in the gc

 **[2:38 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean, please.

 **[2:38 AM] Dean Winchester:** what do you mean you made your peace with it?  
**[2:39 AM] Dean Winchester:** you're not gonna fight?

 **[2:39 AM] Castiel Novak:** I am.

 **[2:39 AM] Dean Winchester:** then what the hell do you mean you made your peace with it?

 **[2:39 AM] Castiel Novak:** Do we really have to talk about this?  
**[2:39 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's late, you're obviously tired. We can talk tomorrow morning.

 **[2:40 AM] Dean Winchester:** it's already tomorrow morning, we can talk now

 **[2:40 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean...  
**[2:40 AM] Castiel Novak:** I just mean that I can't change how things are.  
**[2:40 AM] Castiel Novak:** I can only change how I look at it.

 **[2:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** look at it? like what, like dying is okay?  
**[2:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** it's so not fucking okay, cas

 **[2:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** Please don't tell me how to feel.

 **[2:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm sorry  
**[2:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** jesus  
**[2:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm just scared cas

 **[2:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** I know.

 **[2:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** i know it's stupid  
**[2:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** but i just don't want you to think that it has to end like that  
**[2:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** or that dying is what god wants for you

 **[2:43 AM] Castiel Novak:** Well, I am religious.

 **[2:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** i know but  
**[2:43 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm just gonna stop there before i sound like an even bigger jackass

 **[2:43 AM] Castiel Novak:** Good choice.

 **[5:20 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'm sorry angel  
**[5:20 AM] Dean Winchester:** i was kind of a dick

 **[5:24 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's okay. I get it.  
**[5:24 AM] Castiel Novak:** I forgive you.

 **[5:24 AM] Dean Winchester:** did i wake you up?

 **[5:25 AM] Castiel Novak:** No, I couldn't sleep.

 **[5:25 AM] Dean Winchester:** why?

 **[5:25 AM] Castiel Novak:** Hated how we left things.  
**[5:25 AM] Castiel Novak:** You're the most important person to me, Dean.  
**[5:26 AM] Castiel Novak:** Of course I'm not resigning myself to death. Take it as accepting that my road will end, not that my road is shorter.   
**[5:26 AM] Castiel Novak:** Does that make sense?

 **[5:26 AM] Dean Winchester:** yeah  
**[5:26 AM] Dean Winchester:** i was being selfish  
**[5:27 AM] Dean Winchester:** it's gonna be scarier for you and i made it about myself

 **[5:27 AM] Castiel Novak:** It affects you too. You're allowed to feel some way about it.  
**[5:27 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's late. Go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning.  
**[5:27 AM] Castiel Novak:** There's still time, Dean.

 **[5:27 AM] Dean Winchester:** i wanna spend my whole life with you cas  
**[5:27 AM] Dean Winchester:** and this just sucks

 **[5:28 AM] Castiel Novak:** I know.

 **[5:28 AM] Dean Winchester:** you don't deserve this

 **[5:28 AM] Castiel Novak:** When do we ever get what we deserve?

* * *

**[14 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Crowley MacLeod, Dean Winchester

 **[1:52 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** wings is in the nurse's office.

 **[1:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** on my way

* * *

**[19 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[7:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** I need to get away from here.

 **[7:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** where do you want to go?

 **[7:39 PM] Castiel Novak:** Can we go to where we had our first date? Where we saw the sunset.

 **[7:39 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'll drop sam off at bobby's and see you at the roadhouse

* * *

**[22 July 2008]**

[Passed to Dean in Math by Charlie]

are you okay? you look really sad

* * *

[Passed to Charlie in Math by Dean]

honestly? no

* * *

**[24 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[9:32 PM] Castiel Novak:** Alright. Let's see if you're ready for the history test tomorrow.

 **[9:32 PM] Dean Winchester:** hit me babe

 **[9:32 PM] Castiel Novak:** What ended in 1896?

 **[9:32 PM] Dean Winchester:** 1895

 **[9:33 PM] Castiel Novak:** ...  
**[9:33 PM] Castiel Novak:** Well, you're not wrong...

 **[9:33 PM] Dean Winchester:** i am so gonna ace this test

 **[9:34 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm going to call you and run over the syllabus again.

* * *

**[27 July 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[10:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** cas  
**[10:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** can we go do something together?  
**[10:51 PM] Sam Winchester:** just the two of us

 **[10:51 PM] Castiel Novak:** Of course. Why?

 **[10:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** with october coming up... idk i just don't want to regret not being able to spend more time with you

 **[10:52 PM] Castiel Novak:** We can go out. Let's catch a movie tomorrow and get dinner. Is that okay with you?

 **[10:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** yeah  
**[10:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** thanks cas

* * *

**[28 July 2008]**

Cas frowns, checking the pie in the oven, as Gabriel calls out, "Hey, Dean's calling you." Cas closes the oven door and takes the phone from Gabriel, pressing it between his shoulder and ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Dean," Dean says happily. "What are you doing tonight?"

Cas slips on oven mitts, mumbling into the receiver, "I'm making pie right now."

"Fulfilling your bakery dream already?" Dean asks, and Cas can just hear the smile in his voice.

"That's a long way to go," Cas replies as he gets the pie out of the oven. "It'll be years before a first customer."

”No, I don’t think it’s gonna be years,” Dean says.

Cas walks out of the kitchen, gesturing to Gabriel to clear the table to make space for the pie. Gabriel obliges, shifting plates and cutlery around. Cas asks into the phone, rolling his eyes, “What are you talking about?”

“ _Open the door._ ”

Cas sets the pie down and swats Gabriel’s hand from touching it, adjusting the apron around his waist as he walks over to the door, saying into the phone, “I swear to God, Dean, I have pie and Gabriel is going to jump on it --“

When he opens the door, Dean stands there with this wide, shit-eating grin, and he says, “Now that’s no way to talk to your first customer, Cas.”

Gabriel leans forward on the table to look at who's at the front door and he grins, "Hey, Dean-o. Cas made pie."

"I know, it's like it was destiny or something that I showed up," Dean says, walking past Cas into the house. Cas blinks but shuts the door behind them, walking over and grabbing four plates. "I'm gonna guess Michael's showing up later."

Cas nods, cutting a piece of the pie out and handing it to Dean, "The first customer eats first, after all. Here you go."

"This is so unfair. I'm your brother and this SOB gets the first piece? Talk about betrayal," Gabriel whines, leaning over the table to smell the pie as Dean takes a bite. "How is it? Good? Poison?"

Dean's face lights up and he eats a little faster. "Best damn pie I've ever had. Can I bring a piece back for Sam?" Cas gives him a thumbs up, going to the kitchen to get Tupperware to put a slice in, and Gabriel gets a slice of his own. Dean keeps singing endless praise for Cas's pie which makes his face heat up in the best ways while Gabriel complains about how they're like the domestic, old married couple version of Michael and Adam.

 _Maybe we are_ , Cas thinks. He uses his thumb to brush a crumb off of the corner of Dean's mouth and he smiles. It's the little moments like this that make him afraid of October, but it's also the ones that he loves deeply.

Because that's how life works, apparently.


	17. Egg Machines

**[3 August 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Winchesters

 **[10:30 AM] John Winchester:** Where the hell are you?  
 **[10:30 AM] John Winchester:** Answer me.

_Sam Winchester left_   
_Dean Winchester left_

* * *

**[5 August 2008]**

**Group Chat:** no michaels allowed

 **[7:47 AM] Dean Winchester:** i like this arrangement  
 **[7:47 AM] Dean Winchester:** i get to pick cas up  
 **[7:47 AM] Dean Winchester:** driving up to school like this is my sexy car and my sexy bf

 **[7:48 AM] Castiel Novak:** You're so embarrassing.

 **[7:48 AM] Dean Winchester:** you love it

 **[7:48 AM] Castiel Novak:** I do.

 **[7:48 AM] Sam Winchester:** right in front of my cornflakes?

 **[7:48 AM] Dean Winchester:** eat shit

 **[7:49 AM] Sam Winchester:** wtf  
 **[7:49 AM] Sam Winchester:** i'm your brother

 **[7:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** so what

 **[7:49 AM] Sam Winchester:** can't believe this shit

 **[7:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** pee pee poo poo  
 **[7:49 AM] Dean Winchester:** cas gonna pick you up like the cool bf i am

 **[7:50 AM] Castiel Novak:** Okay, Dean.

 **[7:50 AM] Dean Winchester:** sammy walk to school yourself  
 **[7:50 AM] Dean Winchester:** only man i'll drive is my man

 **[7:50 AM] Sam Winchester:** EXCUSE ME???  
 **[7:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** cas what have you done to him

 **[7:51 AM] Castiel Novak:** I did nothing and if you scroll up you will see that I did not perjure myself.

 **[7:51 AM] Dean Winchester:** yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning

 **[7:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** just take your husband and go  
 **[7:51 AM] Sam Winchester:** i wanna play hooky

 **[7:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** wtf now i wanna play hooky  
 **[7:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** cas lemme take you out on a date

 **[7:52 AM] Castiel Novak:** Dean, we have a bio test today.

 **[7:52 AM] Dean Winchester:** if you play hooky with me then we won't have one

 **[7:52 AM] Castiel Novak:** You're not wrong...  
 **[7:52 AM] Castiel Novak:** Where do you want to go?

 **[7:53 AM] Dean Winchester:** LET'S GO ON A ROAD TRIP

 **[7:53 AM] Sam Winchester:** ambitious

 **[7:53 AM] Castiel Novak:** A trip around Kansas would be nine hours. We would never make it back in time.

 **[7:53 AM] Dean Winchester:** we'll just say it's writing club

 **[7:54 AM] Sam Winchester:** WE'RE REALLY DOING THIS???

 **[7:54 AM] Dean Winchester:** why the hell not

* * *

**[6 August 2008]**

**Group Chat:** W2N2S

 **[9:49 PM] Gabriel Novak:** still can't believe you kids went on a road trip and didn't even invite me  
 **[9:49 PM] Gabriel Novak:** HATE IT HERE

 **[9:50 PM] Castiel Novak:** Better luck next time.

 **[9:50 PM] Gabriel Novak:** BETTER LUCK???  
 **[9:50 PM] Gabriel Novak:** Y'ALL DIDN'T INVITE ME ON PURPOSE

 **[9:50 PM] Sam Winchester:** well in our defence it was pretty last minute

 **[9:50 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i'm pretty and always last minute why wouldn't you invite me

 **[9:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** HELP???

 **[9:51 PM] Michael Shurley:** You think you're being cute but you are just annoying.

 **[9:51 PM] Gabriel Novak:** when did this turn into a gabriel anti gc

 **[9:51 PM] Michael Shurley:** It always was, you just decided to ignore it.

 **[9:51 PM] Gabriel Novak:** i hate that we are brothers

 **[9:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** it's ok michael you can be our brother

 **[9:52 PM] Michael Shurley:** The only brother I want to be is Castiel's.

 **[9:52 PM] Castiel Novak:** You better be.

 **[9:52 PM] Gabriel Novak:** true betrayal...

* * *

**[10 August 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[2:14 PM] Castiel Novak:** Dean.  
 **[2:14 PM] Castiel Novak:** I got the date.

 **[2:14 PM] Dean Winchester:** when is it?

 **[2:14 PM] Castiel Novak:** Two days before Halloween.

 **[2:15 PM] Dean Winchester:** oh  
 **[2:15 PM] Dean Winchester:** shit that's fast

 **[2:15 PM] Castiel Novak:** We knew it was in October. Halloween is one of the last dates.

 **[2:15 PM] Dean Winchester:** i know but  
 **[2:15 PM] Dean Winchester:** still

 **[2:16 PM] Castiel Novak:** Let's just pretend it's not coming.

 **[2:16 PM] Dean Winchester:** fine  
[undelivered] **Dean Winchester:** how do you pretend it's not coming?

* * *

**[13 August 2008]**

**Group Chat:** god squad

 **[3:33 AM] Anael Jo:** BREAD BREAD BREAD

 **[3:33 AM] Inias Garrison:** anael please go to sleep

 **[3:33 AM] Gabriel Novak:** BREAD BREAD BREAD

 **[3:33 AM] Balthazar Freely:** no

 **[3:33 AM] Castiel Novak:** This is Satan's time.

 **[3:34 AM] Gabriel Novak:** your boyfriend took you to see an exorcism on your first date

 **[3:34 AM] Castiel Novak:**...  
 **[3:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** Touché.

 **[3:34 AM] Balthazar Freely:** how is that clown

 **[3:34 AM] Castiel Novak:** Well.

 **[3:34 AM] Inias Garrison:** castiel only ever answering with one word

 **[3:35 AM] Castiel Novak:** So?

 **[3:35 AM] Anael Jo:** sassy  
 **[3:35 AM] Anael Jo:** whatever gonna go see my gf

 **[3:35 AM] Castiel Novak:** She's better than you.

 **[3:35 AM] Anael Jo:** CASTIEL!  
 **[3:35 AM] Anael Jo:** lol tru  
 **[3:36 AM] Anael Jo:** see y'all in hell

 **[3:36 AM] Castiel Novak:** Speak for yourself, I'm not going to Hell.

 **[3:36 AM] Balthazar Freely:** the confidence you exude  
 **[3:36 AM] Balthazar Freely:** how are you bribing your way in

 **[3:36 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'm not asking Him to let me in. He's going to come to ME.

 **[3:36 AM] Gabriel Novak:** PERIOD BITCH

* * *

**[17 August 2008]**

**Private Chat:** John Winchester, Bobby Singer

 **[2:39 PM] John Winchester:** They're with you, aren't they?  
 **[2:39 PM] John Winchester:** Give me my boys back.

 **[2:42 PM] Bobby Singer:** They go where they want to go, and they want to be here.  
 **[2:42 PM] Bobby Singer:** Blame yourself for being such a bastard.

 **[2:42 PM] John Winchester:** You're not their father.

 **[2:42 PM] Bobby Singer:** Neither are you. No father raises their hand to their kids the way you have.  
 **[2:42 PM] Bobby Singer:** Leave us alone. Call again and I'll call the cops on you.

 **[2:44 PM] John Winchester:** Bobby.

_Message not delivered._

* * *

**[19 August 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[4:20 PM] Dean Winchester:** marry me

 **[4:20 PM] Castiel Novak:** Why?

 **[4:20 PM] Dean Winchester:** why not  
 **[4:20 PM] Dean Winchester:** we already act like we are  
 **[4:21 PM] Dean Winchester:** we even have three kids

 **[4:21 PM] Castiel Novak:** I want to see them again.

 **[4:21 PM] Dean Winchester:** bobby brought the kids over to his place yesterday so you can come over anytime to see them  
 **[4:21 PM] Dean Winchester:** bee's moving a lot slower nowadays think he's sad that he doesn't get to see you

 **[4:22 PM] Castiel Novak:** I will come over soon.

 **[4:22 PM] Dean Winchester:** anyway will you marry me or not

 **[4:22 PM] Castiel Novak:** Ask me another time.

* * *

**[22 August 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Jo Harvelle

 **[1:39 AM] Jo Harvelle:** are you crying

 **[1:39 AM] Dean Winchester:** no go to sleep  
 **[1:39 AM] Dean Winchester:** are you coming?

 **[1:39 AM] Jo Harvelle:** yes

* * *

**[27 August 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Michael Shurley, Dean Winchester

 **[2:52 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm in writing club stfu

 **[2:54 PM] Michael Shurley:** I assume this is a wrong number.

 **[2:54 PM] Dean Winchester:** omg last time i'm ever asking my phone to text for me  
 **[2:54 PM] Dean Winchester:** i thought i was texting meg sorry

 **[2:55 PM] Michael Shurley:** It's fine.  
 **[2:55 PM] Michael Shurley:** I heard about what happened with your father. How are you?

 **[2:55 PM] Dean Winchester:** pretty good actually  
 **[2:55 PM] Dean Winchester:** no more john winchester

 **[2:56 PM] Michael Shurley:** Glad to hear that.  
 **[2:56 PM] Michael Shurley:** Now go back to your writing club. Tell my brother I said hello.

* * *

**[30 August 2008]**

Dean managed to get Cas out for a last-minute date on the weekend, just a movie date and then just walking around until they get bored. It sounds like nothing but Dean enjoyed every chance he got to spend time with Cas so it was all good to him.

"What's one thing you wanted to do but haven't gotten to it? Something manageable," Dean asks when they walk through an arcade, passing by some kids playing a racing game. He figures if Cas has that operation coming up then they should get whatever he wanted to be done, done before it happens.

"It's stupid," Cas mutters. "Impossible at my age, with my sexuality."

Dean furrows his eyebrows, stopping in front of Cas, "Hey, no. Tell me."

Cas sighs, looking down at his hands. "I always wanted to get married but I guess... Maybe another time, I’ll have better luck."

There is an ache in Dean's chest when Cas says that and something in him snaps. He shakes his head, saying, "Alright, no, I can’t have this."

Cas looks back up at him, cocking his head. "What?"

"Come on," Dean beckons, walking back to the egg machine with the rings. He puts in a quarter and turns until one of the eggs fall out.

"What are you doing?" Cas frowns, peering over Dean's shoulder as he bends to pull the plastic egg out. He twists it open and takes the ring out; it's a tacky little thing, a moderately sizeable blue plastic diamond on a translucent yellow band. He looks around -- nobody else is there -- and bends down on one knee.

"I asked you before but you said no." A grin splitting across Dean's face. "Castiel James Novak, will you marry me?"

Cas's mouth falls open and he says, voice hushed, "Dean, you're insane! This is impossible."

"Maybe," Dean shrugs, still smiling. "But I’m not letting you go without marrying you first. So will you marry me?"

Cas humours the idea for a few minutes; humours the idea that they're not just teenagers. The idea that two boys are even allowed to get married in America. That life is kind enough that he gets to marry someone like Dean. He smiles, genuine, and says, "Yeah. I mean yes, I will."

The ring is a little too big for Cas's finger and he knows he's not gonna be allowed to wear it anywhere else but right now, and it's kind of ugly and tacky, but it's Dean's, and Cas loved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (They're 17 and it's 2008, so this isn't a real marriage, just them being in love and in the moment)


	18. Now You're Sherlock

**[8 September 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[1:20 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** i miss seeing cas in the gc :(

 **[1:21 PM] Jo Harvelle:** let's surprise him on his birthday omg

 **[1:21 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** FUN!!! what are we gonna do

 **[1:21 PM] Kevin Tran:** we should ambush destiel when they go on his birthday date bc let's be real dean would take him out

 **[1:21 PM] Sam Winchester:** he's so predictable lmao he is

 **[1:21 PM] Jo Harvelle:** OKAY WE'LL AMBUSH

 **[1:21 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** anyone know what kind of cake he likes  
**[1:22 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** we could surprise him with cake  
**[1:22 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** ask dean to bring cas somewhere where we'll wait with it

 **[1:22 PM] Kevin Tran:** that time we went out together and had cake i remember he bought chocolate

 **[1:22 PM] Sam Winchester:** omg can we get like a little candy snail on the cake  
**[1:22 PM] Sam Winchester:** bc he and dean have 3 snail children

 **[1:22 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** THAT'S SO CUTE WTF  
**[1:22 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** ok i'm ordering the cake rn so it'll be ready on time

 **[1:22 PM] Dean Winchester:** what are you talking about

 **[1:23 PM] Sam Winchester:** in the words of your husband  
**[1:23 PM] Sam Winchester:** scroll up this isn't snapchat

 **[1:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** help ???

 **[1:23 PM] Sam Winchester:** help you with what

 **[1:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** man stfu  
**[1:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** also this is a cute idea  
**[1:23 PM] Dean Winchester:** why don't i bring cas to the roadhouse then it's more convenient for everyone  
**[1:24 PM] Dean Winchester:** could keep the cake in ellen's fridge

 **[1:24 PM] Jo Harvelle:** MOM SAYS OKAY

 **[1:24 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** THIS IS FUN  
**[1:24 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** haven't felt this kind of excitement for life in years

 **[1:24 PM] Kevin Tran:** felt that

* * *

**[15 September 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[3:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** hi angel

 **[3:29 PM] Castiel Novak:** Hello, Dean.  
**[3:29 PM] Castiel Novak:** We are in the same room.

 **[3:29 PM] Dean Winchester:** i know  
**[3:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** you look cute

 **[3:30 PM] Castiel Novak:** Hola, guapo.

 **[3:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** I UNDERSTOOD THAT  
**[3:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** let's see if i write these right  
**[3:30 PM] Dean Winchester:** te quiero mi ángel

 **[3:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** I love you.  
**[3:31 PM] Castiel Novak:** Now come over here so I can kiss you.

* * *

**[18 September 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[12:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL

 **[12:00 AM] Castiel Novak:** Thank you, Dean. <3

 **[12:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** i have our date planned for the day i'll pick you up at 1 is that cool?

 **[12:00 AM] Castiel Novak:** Yes. What are we going to do?

 **[12:00 AM] Dean Winchester:** surprise :)  
**[12:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** also  
**[12:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** do you wanna have one of the kids

 **[12:01 AM] Castiel Novak:** About time I got custody of one of them.  
**[12:01 AM] Castiel Novak:** Can I have Bee?

 **[12:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** yes bee likes you better anyway  
**[12:01 AM] Dean Winchester:** i'll bring him over when i pick you up

 **[12:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'm so excited.

 **[12:02 AM] Dean Winchester:** go sleep and i'll see you in the afternoon

 **[12:02 AM] Castiel Novak:** I'll see you soon then.

 **[1:20 AM] Dean Winchester:** are you still awake

 **[1:20 AM] Castiel Novak:** Yes.

 **[1:20 AM] Dean Winchester:** do you wanna meet now

 **[1:20 AM] Castiel Novak:** Yes.

* * *

**[18 September 2008]**

**Group Chat:** CASTIEL TURNS 18  
**Members:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Kevin Tran, Jo Harvelle, Garth Fitzgerald, Bela Talbot, Crowley MacLeod, Meg Masters, Belphegor Kline  
  


**[4:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** we're on the way to the roadhouse are you ready

 **[4:49 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** we're there and the cake's in the fridge

 **[4:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** alright i'm gonna drive so i won't be online  
**[4:49 PM] Dean Winchester:** will be there in 15

 **[4:49 PM] Sam Winchester:** ok now go back to your husband

 **[4:50 PM] Crowley MacLeod:** wait, dean. doesn't wings not like surprises?

 **[4:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** i told him we were gonna meet with some friends so the only surprise is cake  
**[4:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** we're good  
**[4:50 PM] Dean Winchester:** ok seriously gonna go offline now see you in 15

 **[4:51 PM] Meg Masters:** did y'all get clarence a gift because i need to get one in 15

 **[4:51 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** you didn't get one ahead of time???

 **[4:51 PM] Meg Masters:** i did but as it turns out crowley says a rat pet isn't a good present

 **[4:51 PM] Jo Harvelle:** A RAT??@!#$

 **[4:52 PM] Kevin Tran:** lol sam would know

 **[4:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** man stfu  
**[4:52 PM] Sam Winchester:** they liked the rat

 **[4:52 PM] Kevin Tran:** they have no taste but what did i expect they dated you

 **[4:52 PM] Belphegor Kline:** WHAT THE FUCK HELP??#@?#@

 **[4:52 PM] Bela Talbot:** had no idea kevin had it in him but go girl give us everything

 **[4:52 PM] Jo Harvelle:** okay stfu we need to get set up

* * *

**[18 September 2008]**

**Group Chat:** CASTIEL TURNS 18

_Dean Winchester added Castiel Novak_

**[11:45 PM] Castiel Novak:** Thank you for today. I love you all.  
**[11:45 PM] Castiel Novak:** Thank you, Meg, for not giving me the rat. I don't think I could take it.

 **[11:45 PM] Meg Masters:** sam do you want the rat

 **[11:45 PM] Sam Winchester:** STOP BULLYING ME ABOUT THE RAT????

 **[11:46 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** can't believe ur finally 18 i love u sm cas

 **[11:46 PM] Dean Winchester:** i love you angel

 **[11:46 PM] Belphegor Kline:** he only said 4 words and already i am crying i hate it here with all these emotions

* * *

**[27 September 2008]**

**Group Chat:** demon clique

 **[2:37 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** i came to the conclusion that belphegor is hellspawn.

 **[2:37 AM] Castiel Novak:** I thought we already knew this.

 **[2:38 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** today he pointed at an empty corner of the room and said "that dog is so cute".  
**[2:38 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** in an attempt to humour him, i asked him what dog.  
**[2:38 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** he said HELLHOUND.

 **[2:38 AM] Belphegor Kline:** THERE WAS A DOG I SWEAR TO GOD

 **[2:38 AM] Castiel Novak:** Don't act as if you believe in God.

 **[2:38 AM] Belphegor Kline:** lmfao true

 **[2:38 AM] Dean Winchester:** HELLHOUND????

 **[2:39 AM] Meg Masters:** I GOT A DOG  
**[2:39 AM] Meg Masters:** oh i see y'all met him already

 **[2:39 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** ?????  
**[2:39 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** WHAT DOG?

 **[2:39 AM] Castiel Novak:** It's a cute dog.

 **[2:39 AM] Crowley MacLeod:** WHAT DOG?

* * *

**[8 October 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[10:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** Is that you sitting at the lockers?

 **[10:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** yes

 **[10:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** Don't you have English right now?

 **[10:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** yes

 **[10:41 AM] Castiel Novak:** Why are you sitting there?

 **[10:41 AM] Dean Winchester:** i don't feel good

 **[10:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** You should go to the nurse.

 **[10:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** not that kind of don't feel good

 **[10:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** ...  
**[10:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** Can I keep you company?

 **[10:42 AM] Dean Winchester:** please?

 **[10:42 AM] Castiel Novak:** Give me a minute. We can cut class.

* * *

**[14 October 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[8:24 PM] Castiel Novak:** Bee just died.

 **[8:24 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm on my way over

* * *

**[14 October 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

 **[9:19 PM] Sam Winchester:** where are you

 **[9:19 PM] Dean Winchester:** bee died

 **[9:19 PM] Sam Winchester:** bee??  
**[9:19 PM] Sam Winchester:** the snail?

 **[9:19 PM] Dean Winchester:** the one cas took, yeah

 **[9:20 PM] Sam Winchester:** omg i'm so sorry **  
[9:20 PM] Sam Winchester:** how did it die

 **[9:20 PM] Dean Winchester:** i think bee was sick?? the mantle collapsed

 **[9:20 PM] Sam Winchester:** well at least bee's in a better place now

 **[9:20 PM] Dean Winchester:** i'm gonna stay the night with cas can you tell bobby for me?

 **[9:20 PM] Sam Winchester:** sure

* * *

**[20 October 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[8:59 PM] Jo Harvelle:** what do you want to be for halloween

 **[8:59 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** remy

 **[8:59 PM] Sam Winchester:** the rat???

 **[9:00 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** the chef

 **[9:00 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** THE CHEF IS FUCKING CALLED LINGUINI  
**[9:00 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** I CAN’T BREATHE

 **[9:00 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** fuck y'all man

 **[9:00 PM] Sam Winchester:** dean and i kinda wanna go as han and luke

 **[9:00 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** i believe in star wars supremacy  
**[9:01 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** i might be going as leia!!!

 **[9:01 PM] Jo Harvelle:** can we all go as star wars characters

 **[9:01 PM] Kevin Tran:** LMFAOOOO would've been so funny if garth wasn't in this gc and we were like "let's all wear star wars and not tell garth"

 **[9:01 PM] Sam Winchester:** bruh linguini showing up with jedis 😭

 **[9:01 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i know i am a hettie but i don't deserve this  
**[9:01 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i remedy my statement i do deserve this

* * *

**[25 October 2008]**

**Group Chat:** Gayz II Women

 **[5:30 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i bought my remy costume today

 **[5:30 PM] Kevin Tran:** for the last time the chef's name is linguini

 **[5:30 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** i mean the rat  
**[5:30 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:**

**[5:30 PM] Charlie Bradbury:** PHYSICALLY CANNOT BREATHE

 **[5:31 PM] Jo Harvelle:** what does bess think about this

 **[5:31 PM] Garth Fitzgerald:** she's going as my linguini

 **[5:31 PM] Jo Harvelle:** can't believe she has no problems with this

 **[5:31 PM] Sam Winchester:** THE COSTUME??##>

 **[5:31 PM] Dean Winchester:** ur gonna rock halloween so bad

* * *

**[28 October 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[4:48 PM] Castiel Novak:** I'm in the hospital now for tomorrow.

 **[4:48 PM] Dean Winchester:** be there soon

* * *

**[28 October 2008]**

Half an hour before the hospital closes to visitors for the day, Dean and Sam walk into Cas's room in Star Wars costumes. Michael, Gabriel and Chuck left a little earlier to give some privacy. Sam closes the door as Dean strides over to the side of his bed, a grin across his face. "Hey, angel."

Cas sits up in his bed, smiling back. "Hello, Dean. Sam."

Dean presses a quick kiss to his lips before pulling away. Sam pulls out some candy and chocolates from his bag as Dean explains, "After the op, you'll have to rest so you won't be able to go to Halloween, so I thought we could bring Halloween to you."

"I don't have a costume," Cas mumbles, and Dean takes a deerstalker out of his bag along with a plastic pipe. He puts the deerstalker on Cas's head and motions for him to open his mouth so he can put the pipe there.

"Now you're Sherlock," Dean grins.

Sam puts a pumpkin bucket on the spare chair and dumps the candy in there. "You can have them once you're all healthy again."

"How did you get into the hospital dressed like that?" Cas asks.

Dean gives him a sheepish smile, explaining, "They thought we were here to visit the kids and I felt kinda bad about it so I promised that we would drop by before we leave." Cas nods, trying to peer into Sam's bag.

"Do you have Han's gun?"

"No gun because that's a little risky here but we do have a lightsaber Bobby got Dean for his birthday last year," Sam answers, pulling it out. It's the kind with retractable coloured plastic. "Not the best and not even the correct colour, but I'll make do."

They talk about Star Wars, about funny things that happened earlier today that Cas missed -- Crowley's reaction after finally seeing Meg's dog -- until they have ten minutes left and have to go. Sam helps them take a photo -- Dean points finger guns at the camera and Cas simply smiles. Sam hugs Cas, promises to send him the photo, wishes him good luck, and leaves first.

Dean says, quiet, "You got this, okay? Good luck. I love you."

"I love you too," Cas replies, pulling Dean in to kiss him, trying to convey every inch of love in it. "I'll see you soon."

"See you," Dean says, grabbing his bag and pressing one final kiss to Cas's forehead before he walks out.

* * *

**[29 October 2008]**

**Private Chat:** Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak

 **[8:20 AM] Castiel Novak:** I love you. Never forget that. Tell our sons I will be back soon.

 **[8:20 AM] Dean Winchester:** i love you too angel. good luck


	19. Culaccino

**[Cas’s notebook]**

Hello.

I have decided that life is essentially one very long diary entry, and the only closure you get is your mortal finale, which means that this book will be just the one entry and it will go on until I think it is time to end it. I'll start by introducing myself.

My name is Castiel James Novak and I am 17 years old. I have two brothers, Michael and Gabriel. Gabriel’s the only one blood-related to me but we were adopted into Michael’s family because our mom married his dad. Then she died, and Chuck (Michael’s dad) tries his best but sometimes, he’s not that nice. I miss my mom, but she died when I was young so I barely remember her. We have Aunt Amara too, but we don’t see her often. She’s a very busy woman.

Michael is nice, a different kind from Gabriel's nice. Gabriel is like those candy shops where you get to try as many samples as you wish but there's a sour one hiding in there. Michael is like getting to eat cake before dinner but you don't get to have dessert after.

Michael taught me how to read people. People like to call it our Sherlock party trick. I’m not always accurate but I’m getting there.

I also believe in God, which makes some people roll their eyes, but I love the idea that there is someone out there who loved you regardless. And I am aware of the people who hate in his name, and they are no Christian. I believe in love, basically. I like having faith too. It provides a sense of comfort and faith.

I’m gay. I’m proud of that. Chuck’s bisexual and Gabriel is, well, whatever the hell he wants to be. I think Michael has a boyfriend but he’s very secretive about it. He calls this guy called Adam a lot, though.

What else...

I have heart disease. After my mom died, Chuck was really sad so he had some time where Gabriel and I relied more on Michael's care than his. During that time, I got strep throat, then it became a fever, and Chuck didn't think it was bad enough to go to the doctor. None of us did. Not even me. Then I fainted and got diagnosed when I came to. A hole in my heart. I'm having an operation to have a heart valve put there at the end of the year.

It’s not all bad if I’m careful, but it sucks that I don’t get to join the swim team. Gabriel said as a small child, I loved the water. I mean, I can swim, but nothing exertive, which just... sucks. I go to the pool after the swim team’s done so I can pick snails out before they get crushed on accident.

I leave them in locker 275 because it’s the nearest locker that I can put them in. Mine’s too far. I left Locker 275 a note today apologising and gave him a Reese's Cup. I hope they don’t mind.

* * *

Locker 275 is a boy.

* * *

He kept the snail and named it Chevy after his father's car.

* * *

I think Locker 275’s owner is flirting with me.

* * *

Found a pink snail. Locker 275 took it and I named it Clarence.

* * *

Hello, I’m back. It’s been quite a while and some things have happened. Meg had her Valentine’s party today. I didn’t go, I don’t really like parties (at least, not the rowdy kind that Meg hosts) and I met someone.

Dean Winchester. He seemed like a really nice guy and I invited him in. I don’t normally do that, especially since I didn’t know him, but for the worth of all flimsy rom-com excuses, he seemed different. At that moment, I didn’t know anything about him, not even his name, except that he liked parties. But it’s like I did know him. New, but familiar all the same.

He stayed for a while until he went upstairs to Meg’s party because his friends were there. He’s actually in my History class, as it turns out. But he normally sits in the back and I sit at the front, so we don’t really have much opportunity to run into one another. We don’t even enter the classroom from the same door.

I went to bed after he left. I have History tomorrow, so maybe I’ll get to see Dean again. After he left and I was alone in the house again, it felt like... Do I even have a word?

I’ll get back to you on that.

* * *

I just realised that Locker 275 and Dean share the same handwriting. They both write in full caps and he crosses his As the same way.

* * *

We went into History at the same time, coincidentally enough, and I guess we had the same idea; I was walking to the back to sit with him, and he was walking up to the front to sit with me, so we just met each other halfway. We now sit in the middle row and he passes me notes when Mr Devereaux isn’t looking.

Dean is funny, in an endearing way. His jokes seem like the type that people roll their eyes at, but I like his jokes.

I found the word, by the way.

Rückkehrunruhe.  
n. the feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Not the prettiest word out there, but it was what it was. Meeting Dean is the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t see any magnificent sights like the seven wonders, and I didn’t go looking for adventure... All I really saw that night was Dean’s green eyes and how they’re a little bit yellow in the middle.

* * *

Sunflowers.

His eyes are like sunflowers if the skies were green.

* * *

Dean and I started going to school together in the morning. I think I might like him. ☺

* * *

Dean asked for another snail. I asked him to name this one Bee.

* * *

Dean added me to his group chat today. His friends think we're dating which would have been funny, I suppose, if it wasn't something I wished for.

* * *

We joined a writing club a while back. Dean can draw but apparently won't make it a thing because his father thinks it's girly. I wish I could beat some sense into his father. He is lucky to have a son like Dean.

* * *

He finally figured out that I'm Snail Dude. He got really excited about it and he looked so cute and happy.

I think I have a crush on him.

* * *

We're going to Barcelona for a school trip. Dad wanted to come along but Michael and Gabriel convinced him that I would be fine on my own. As a compromise, Michael told Crowley about my condition and asked him to look out for me. It's better than having Dad there so I didn't complain. As a result, I've been paired up with Crowley for the hotel rooms. I think it could be good. Maybe.

Maybe not. Crowley is full of surprises.

We'll see how it goes.

* * *

Crowley wanted to room with Belphegor so he traded rooms with his roommate, so Dean is now my roommate.

He sleeps on his stomach which suggests that he may be gregarious. Perhaps brash.

And he looks very cute when he's tired. I think he was drawing me before bed but I may be wrong.

* * *

Dean was going to ask me something tonight but said he would ask tomorrow morning when we weren't tired. Body language tells me he's anxious... A part of me hopes he wants to ask me out but when has life ever worked out for me like that?

* * *

I fainted today (made the mistake of running after my worksheet when it got taken by the wind) and Crowley was concerned, but I don't think it's time to tell Dean yet. He called Michael, though. Which means Dad will know soon.

* * *

He called me sunshine today.

And angel.

☺

* * *

HE ASKED ME OUT! ☺ ☺ ☺

* * *

We had our first date today. A movie, dinner and an exorcism. Who would think of an exorcism as a date idea? Dean is something else. It was surprisingly cheesy but sweet when he splashed me with holy water because I was "too good to be true". Though I am grateful that I wasn't wearing anything expensive. It dried off in a bit.

Dad was at the movie we were at so he took us to watch the sunset.

We kissed. ☺

* * *

Dean Winchester is my boyfriend.

* * *

I like him so much.

Not that it's anything particularly important to add but I just like him so much.

* * *

We're having a mild prank war. I changed the text replacement in Dean's phone so that 'prank' becomes 'fuck' and 'fuck' becomes 'Don't challenge me to a prank war again.'. I hope he has fun. I know I am. ☺

* * *

Today I visited Sam and Dean. We watched The Usual Suspects. I've never seen it but heard it was good, despite the disturbing director. I figured out who the killer was halfway through.

The more important part is that Dean called me honeybee. ☺

I never thought that I could ever fall in love but I am ready now. My heart is ready.

I’m in love with Dean Winchester.

It was so simple, actually. Dad doesn’t know, and I’m sitting at my desk, and Dean’s still in my bed, and this is it. It was so easy.

* * *

He just said he's in love with me. I told him I felt the same.

♡

* * *

I got him a new notebook because his old one was running out of pages.

* * *

Dean finally got Michael to admit that he's dating Adam (dorm mate at college). Gabriel and I couldn't get him to say A THING about it. Dean has superpowers.

* * *

Illinois, a nice place. Dean's Impala and our snails. My vinyl records and books, and his cassettes and flannels.

* * *

My operation will be in October.

...

I think I have to tell Dean about my sickness soon.

* * *

I told him today. He took it pretty well but I think he just doesn't want to worry me. I wish I knew how to make him feel better.

* * *

I told Sam. Outwardly more scared than Dean. I'll be telling everyone else in due time. Crowley heads straight for the 'if this had happened instead's.

Too late for those.

* * *

Dean's father wants to meet me.

* * *

Just got home from meeting him. His body type and gait suggest that he imbibes copious quantities of alcohol. Shaky hands, craving for his next drink, possibly kept off it for a while to make a good impression on me. It's not working, not with what I know about him from Dean.

Clothes are in better shape than Dean's -- less frayed edges -- but they have some stains. An effort has been made to wash it with the moderately paler denim around the stains but it's been soiled too often. Alcohol isn't recreational for him, it's a habit.

I don't like him so I told him that.

* * *

Belphegor did not take my illness well.

* * *

* * *

Fireworks with Sam and Dean today.

I wish I could stop time right there.

* * *

I watched Spirited Away for the first time with Dean (and Sam) today. I think Chihiro taught me something tonight. I admire how she accepted how her life was going to be and she took it in stride. I’ve accepted how it is for me with my heart like this. Maybe I’m more like Sho from that Arriety movie...

I like Chihiro and Haku. I’m gonna name this Spirited Away, I think. Subject to future change.

Dean actually came over today for a date, but he left for about 20 minutes to pick up Sam from the Roadhouse. Apparently, their dad saw Sam kiss a boy and Sam was too scared to go home after that. Dad allowed them to stay the night after Dean explained.

We only had one air mattress so after Dad left us alone, Dean got in bed with me and let Sam have space.

I like sleeping with him. He's so warm. ☺

* * *

I hate how we left things tonight.

I had so much more to tell you.

Don’t you get it? We still have time, Dean. We still have time.

* * *

I saw a movie with Sam today and we had dinner.

He cried. Then I cried too.

* * *

Dean is my first customer ever. ☺

He ate the pie I made and he liked it.

He's so sweet.

* * *

The operation is on 29 October.

I'd rather not think about it.

* * *

In my little pretend world, I am engaged with Dean with this little plastic ring he got from an egg machine.

♡

* * *

I got a birthday surprise today. They got me a cake with three chocolate snails on it.

(Plus a bee iced onto it that Dean said he did. I made sure my slice had the bee.)

I love my friends so much.

* * *

Bee died today.

* * *

Sam and Dean came to my hospital room today to celebrate Halloween because I’m not going to get the chance to trick or treat, whether I get through the operation or not.

They dressed as Han Solo and Luke Skywalker from Star Wars (Dean as Han, obviously) and they brought me a deerstalker because I’m Sherlock. Dean also bought me candy on the way over and hid them in my drawer. They said I can have them after the operation.

It’s a school night and Sam and Dean couldn't stay long (promised to visit the kids) so they had to leave early. Sam took a picture of us together; I wore the deerstalker and Dean pointed his fingers at the camera like they’re his blaster. I kissed Dean and told me he loved me, and he kissed me again. Then he left. I started writing after he was out of sight.

This is it. Tomorrow will be the operation, and then it’s in God’s hands. I trust him to make the right decision, but if it were in my power, I’d want to stay... I don’t dare get my hopes up, so while there’s a chance to get through it all, there is also a chance I won’t.

In case I don’t... Gabriel and Michael, I will miss you, and I’m more than grateful to have you two as my brothers. I don’t show it often but I love you guys.

I am grateful, also, for my friends. Crowley, Meg, Sam, Charlie, Kevin, Garth, Jo, Bela, Balthazar, Anael, Inias, Belphegor, Anna. And anyone I have ever met. It is... something special, to have had anyone cross your path. It had to be the right place, the right time, for them to meet you and every person touches you in little ways and sometimes they stick around forever.

I guess that’s the point of meeting people. We all find the parts of them that we love so much that we pick it up and take it with us wherever we go. Which means we never really lose anyone. They just go somewhere else.

And please find Dean and give this book to him to let him know that my love for him will never fade and how desperately I will miss him.

I think I want to change the title again. One last time.

Culaccino: The mark left on a table by a cold drink.

It’s Italian. I think it’s nice. Fitting. It’s what we all are, right? Essentially, we are just marks left on a table. We dry up and we disappear, but it doesn’t mean we were never there.

You know, it’s funny. I used to be in such a hurry all the time. I wanted to get as much done in my life as fast as I could because I was afraid I would run out of time. But now that I’m here, I think I hurried for nothing; I got to feel everything I ever wanted to anyway. There was no rush after all.

This was a gift. This time I’ve gotten with Dean, my family, my friends, this world. This life. It was all a gift.

Thank you, Dean.

Take care of Chevy and Clarence for us. Stand up to your father. Never lose your capacity for kindness. Keep finding the humour in things. Believe there is good in the world. Know that your brother is here. You have never been alone, and you will never be again. Nobody is ever truly gone. The good things will always be here waiting for you.

And I love you. I will always love you.

I'm going to put the pen down now.

Love,  
Castiel


	20. When Cas Was There

**[Dean’s notebook]**

23.3.2008

I just came home from my date with Cas. Told Dad I was out with Kev and Jo.

Roadhouse was great, Ellen said the meal was on her. I think Jo took a photo of us but I don't care. Cas's dad was in the cinema we were in so I took him to watch the sunset at the park instead. He ~~looked~~ looks so beautiful. I should get the photo printed.

He kissed me. I'm still buzzing.

God, I ~~lo~~ like him so much.

* * *

2.4.2008

Chevy, Clarence, and Bee are doing very well. Think Clarence might be sick or something he's moving slower than usual. I'll check him out sometime. Maybe there's a snail expert in bio... Maybe Cassie knows a thing or two about snails.

I found out what kind of snails they were a while back but I never wrote them down. So Chevy's an ariants arbustorum, Clarence is a ramshorn and Bee is a roman snail (which live the longest which is pretty cool). Chevy's is a fucking mouthful.

Dad refused to give me dinner yesterday because I didn't come home before 6 (I was distracted texting Cas and missed the bus) so Crowley got me to sneak out my window and took me out to eat with his mom. I love Rowena, man. She's awesome. And Dad's dinner sounded like crap anyway, he just heated up leftover pizza from last night. Leftovers are good, don't get me wrong, but it could be better...

I can't wait for Dad to give me Baby. She's a fucking beauty. Deserves a way better driver than Dad.

Cas and I had a whole prank war, and thank whatever that pen can't be autocorrected. He fixed it today so that's good.

Are these entries even interesting? I'm just rambling. I mean, probably not all that much compared to people like Crowley or Meg. It's still something, right? Sam said I should try creative writing, which I guess is something like stories? A step up from what I'm doing. He said it might help. I don't know what he thinks I would need help with but maybe I'll wax poetic about Cas sometime and see.

Writing club's okay, on that note. The teacher, Pamela, she's really nice and she doesn't assign homework as other clubs do. She just lets us write whatever we want and show her our work if we want to.

Cas likes writing. I don't know what he writes, he never wants to show me, or anyone, but he enjoys it. It's cute. Maybe one day he'll show me.

I'll cut it short here. I've got this math homework to do and I wasn't paying attention. Cas told me he's calling in a couple of minutes to tutor me through it, though.

I'm so glad I have him. Don't know what I'll do without him.

* * *

8.4.2008

I heard that love starts with trust.

I don't really know how to trust anyone? I mean, I know I trust Sammy with my life. I trust Cas with everything I got. I trust Bobby and Ellen and Jo. I trust Charlie. Kevin, Garth. Crowley, even. Rowena? Meg, Bela?

Do you see how the line started to blur there? Can you even tell who I trust and who I don't? When does the line between circumstantial reliance and unconditional trust begin to blend? Where is it defined? Do _you_ know who you trust and who you don't?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Oh boy.

It's Tuesday night, and I have History with Cas tomorrow. I know he's awake right now -- Cas has a hard time falling asleep (not insomnia or stress, Cas just doesn't tend to sleep early), and he likes to do puzzles or read until he's tired. Ever since we started dating, he's taken to texting me instead. Right now, he's texting me about last week's Sunday choir. They sang this song and Gabe cried, which was very funny to Cas (and me).

I guess I'm just thinking if I should tell Cas about Dad.

I know we haven't been dating for a long time, and we've only known each other for about 4 months, but damn if I don't want to trust him because I do. I know I do.

Dad's fucked me up royally, man. They always say your parents are the ones who you trust the most, and who love you the most. I think my dad loves me, but he doesn't like me. If you're confused, let me tell you that there's a difference. It doesn't make it any better. I still don't like my dad. Nothing will ever make it better again between us. To think I used to be so idealistic about it, you know... I thought it was just a phase.

All that was a very long-winded way of saying that Dad hit me again last night.

I was working on the car outside, keeping her going. Accidentally tracked grease on the carpet and Dad was drunk. Small mark but Bela has makeup and she promised to meet me early tomorrow to cover it up for me.

I know Cas is gonna get worried. I think I'll just have to trust that he'll be nice about it. I know this kind of thing isn't for everyone like some people get scared off. Lee did, hasn't spoken to me since seventh grade. I think Cas will be different, though.

That's where love begins right? With a little trust.

* * *

12.4.08

Hello Dean,

I saw that your first one was running out of pages so I got you another notebook. :)

I love you and I hope you smile when you see this. You’re my favourite person in the whole world and I don’t know what I would do without you.

Thank you for being you.

Don’t ever change, no matter where we go.

Love,  
Cas

* * *

1.6.08

The previous pages are torn out except the one Cas wrote on and any entry I had before about him. I wanted this notebook to be just him. Not gonna leave in any entries not about him either. I got a new notebook for those.

Today, I found out that he has rheumatic heart disease. I’ve never heard of it, but he told me that it’s basically been destroying his heart since. Apparently he got this fever as a kid and his dad didn’t realise how bad it was until he collapsed during a sports event at school.

It’s why his dad freaked on Gabe when Cas fainted in Barcelona, and why Cas wasn’t on the school’s swim team, or doing any sports for that matter. 

He’s been on the waitlist for a new heart valve for a while now but they told him they’ll be ready for him in a few months, probably October or so.

I didn’t tell him, but I’m so fucking scared. This shit is scary.

I don’t want him to die.

* * *

5.6.08

I got the photo printed today. The one I took of Cas on our first date, the sunset one.

He’s so goddamn beautiful, man. 

Shit, I’m so gone on him.

* * *

6.6.08

I’m so in love with this boy. I really am.

* * *

13.6.2008

The snails are doing fine. Bee’s a little slower than usual but I think he’s just lazy. Clarence and Chevy get along well. I wish Cas could come over more often to see them. I send him photos of them all the time but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

Cas and I went on a date today, I just came back from it an hour ago. Well, I count it as a date. Don’t know about him. Cas dragged me into the library and we went to the fiction section and he started to read badly written erotica in the weirdest accents ever (kinda sexy). I couldn’t stop laughing and he kept shushing me but he’s too funny. The memory of him saying “the dog-ugliest creep looked like Jake Gyllenhaal” like an offended Russian...

Sam and I like to set off fireworks in the empty lot behind Ellen’s Roadhouse. I’m thinking I’ll invite

Wait. No, nevermind. Too loud, maybe.

WAIT.

GALAXY BRAIN IDEA.

EARPLUGS???

Holy shit I’m a genius

They can’t be that expensive. Two bucks could get me a good enough pair, I think. I’ll check with Michael, he’ll know the best option.

Okay, I’ll invite Cas to watch fireworks. He can wear earplugs so it won’t be loud. YES.

* * *

14.6.08

Cas and I called at 3:15 AM because he couldn’t sleep and he stopped talking to me 50 minutes in. He doesn’t snore, just quiet breathing, so I thought he was ignoring me for a while there.

After I realised he was sleeping, I hung up.

He sounded really peaceful.

* * *

15.6.08

Cas called me guapo today :)

I think I am guapo but Cas is MUY BONITA.

I didn’t even use google translate for that. You proud yet?

He also said te quiero which I’m pretty sure means I love you. He’s cute.

* * *

22.6.08

Cas doesn’t use proper punctuation and capitalisation when he’s tired.

Not that that’s a big thing but I think it’s really cute.

* * *

26.6.08

I took Cas with me and Sam to watch us set off fireworks. The earplugs were a good idea so I’ll save it for the next time we do this.

He really liked it. Apparently, his dad never really let him watch fireworks shows up close. His dumb ass didn’t realise earplugs exist.

He said it was the best day of his life.

That means something, man.

If I said I didn’t kinda tear up at that, I’d be fucking lying.

* * *

6.7.08

I was at Cas’s place for a date and then Sam texted to say John saw him kissing a boy at the Roadhouse and he was scared to go home. Chuck let Cas invite him over and said we could spend the night but Cas and I can’t share a bed.

(We are. I’m writing this while Cas is asleep next to me.)

We had dinner with the Shurley/Novaks(?) Gabe made some kind of stew that was actually kind of good, and Michael admitted that he’s the only one in the family who can’t cook anything. Chuck can’t either, so I guess Cas and Gabe learned from their mom and Chuck just never did.

But either way, it was really nice. Home-cooked food that didn’t have to get heated up in the microwave, Gabe joking around with Michael about his boyfriend, Sam actually eating something good for once, holding hands with Cas under the table?

That’s heaven for me... Like, ~~if~~ when I die, that’s the moment I wanna live in.

Alright, it’s the 7th right now but I don’t think I need to make a new entry for this so I’ll just add on.

Dad texted me today to ask me where Sam was because he wanted to deal with him for kissing that guy. And I don’t know, I guess the domestic life yesterday riled me up for this, so I told him I was dating Cas and that he wasn’t my father.

Sam and I moved to Bobby’s today. We didn’t have any of our stuff with us because we didn’t want to go back and see John, but Bobby said he would handle it while we were at school.

I can’t believe how much of a relief it was that John’s no longer a part of our lives.

* * *

13.7.08  
  
I fought with Cas like a dumbass today. It’s like I got a stick up my ass or something, Jesus.

I just don’t want him to think this is all there is? I know, I know. I don’t have the right to tell him what to do or think or feel or whatever. He’s mad at me, I know he is, but I couldn’t stop going on and on.

That was like 3 hours ago. I just apologised and he’s awake at 5:30 in the morning??? He said he didn’t like how we left things so he couldn’t sleep.

He said something today: When do we ever get what we deserve?

When?

* * *

19.7.08

Cas and I ran off today, just for a day, to get away from it all, pretend everything is fine.

I’m not gonna write it down because I think it’s only right that we kept it to just us. A private memory for the two of us only.

But all you have to know is that he was so happy today. If we didn’t have to go home, I would never have, just so he could always be this happy.

* * *

27.7.08

Sam went out with Cas today. For a movie and dinner, according to Cas, just them. I stayed at the Roadhouse with Jo and Ellen. Sam didn’t talk about it much after he came back and met me at the Roadhouse. He just said he was gonna miss Cas. I told him Cas wasn’t going to die.

He was trying to get as much time with Cas before it got too late which is understandable but makes me feel like shit.

* * *

28.7.08

I was Cas’s first “bakery” customer today :)

He makes a mean pie.

Would make a mean husband too.

If it works, it works.

* * *

30.9.08

I asked Cas to marry me today.

Obviously we can’t -- we’re 17-year-old kids and we’re both boys -- but we were talking, and he told me he always wanted to get married and have kids. I mean, Chevy, Clarence and Bee are practically our kids, right? Feels like it, even if they’re a bunch of snails.

But the ring looks a little less tacky on his finger.

* * *

27.10.08

His operation’s tomorrow. Michael promised to call with news as soon as he has any. 

Sam and I went to the hospital to see him one more time before. We wore cheap Star Wars costumes (I was Han and he was Luke) and we brought Cas a deerstalker, the one Sherlock wears. We had a pumpkin bucket with some of the candy we bought on the way. I left it by his bed in case he gets hungry after we leave. He ate a Hershey bar while we were there.

He loves Halloween, so I wanted to bring it to him since he’s gonna be stuck in this room until after the operation. Dad’s probably gonna kill me for going home so late but it’s worth it to see Cas smile like that. Sam took a picture (I didn’t have time to draw him). I just wanted to spend time with him, look at him.

I kissed him and said good luck. He texted me that he loves me.

* * *

30.10.08

He’s gone.

* * *

31.10.08

I hope Cas is having a happy Halloween, trick and treating and all. I know he wanted to celebrate it.

There’s something he said once when we stayed up late talking about life. I told him about my mom and he told me about his. I’ve never been able to forget it since he said it.

“The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them. When they’re gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.”

So, yeah, it hurts. It hurts so bad and I don’t know if it will ever stop. I miss him so bad.

But he’s right. It’s the point of this, this whole thing.

I made this for him, to remember him and all the time we spent together. I saved every note when we were just Snail Dude and Locker 275, and I couldn’t delete any texts with him there, and all the drawings and photos I made or took. It’s all for Cas, and it’ll forever be here.

Castiel James Novak. What a guy.

I was right when I called him an angel.

Fuck.

OK.

Sorry, let me start over.

Castiel James Novak, you are the love of my life. And I’m not typically this sappy --

Who am I kidding? You’ve made me this sappy mess since we met and I’m not complaining. I love you. I really do. I don’t think I’ll love anyone more than I ~~loved~~ love you.

 _Love_ , not loved. I’m sorry. Love. I love you more than anything, always will.

Well, I’m in the church right now. Gabriel and Michael came to pray and asked if I wanted to come along. It’s not mass, but a bunch of kids are singing. Part of the choir, I think. When Love Was Born by some guy. Hold on, let me get you the name.

Mark Schultz, one of the kids told me.

Can’t really hear the words too clear, but I heard them say “prince of peace”, and it reminds me of you. Their voices are just echoing in the cathedral, and it sounds so beautiful and all I can think of is the first night we kissed. You know, I asked you if you were an angel and you kissed me when the sun set.

Man, I’m fucking crying. Everything reminds me of you. The sky, these fucking kids singing, can’t even look at our snails without breaking down. Damn it, Cas. I miss you so bad. This hurts.

But I guess that’s the point.

Well, I can’t write forever, even if I wish I could. So, I’ll be stopping here. This is it, then. End of the love story, but not our love.

Hey, I told you I’d write a book to show you how much I love you, didn’t I? I keep my word.

I’ll see you sometime, angel. Save me a spot. Wait for me. Until then, I’ll be missing you.

31 October 2008  
**When Cas Was There**  
_By Dean Winchester_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> If you want an alternate ending where Cas lives, here it is: https://twitter.com/adamichael/status/1334396823411204097?s=21


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